If you're new, you can start here....

This is a read-only part of the forum. All threads where seeing happens are stored here and come from this forum, the Facebook guiding area and various LU blogs. The complete list, sorted by guide, contains all links. The archives include threads of those that came to LU already seeing as well.
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Bill
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Re: If you're new, you can start here....

Postby Bill » Sun Jun 10, 2012 2:31 am

OK OK OK OK!!
You get it.
Hahahaha!
Very good. We didn't need that much but it looks like you have these tendencies...
I'm gonna have to put a word limit on your posts :)

I can see that you know how to stay in the here and now
so no more excuses to get lost out there in 'description land'.


OK now:
What comes up from the two LU videos?
What did you 'get' from them?

Is there a you? in reality? Was there ever?

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Cailin Callahan
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Location: Jennings, Florida, USA

Re: If you're new, you can start here....

Postby Cailin Callahan » Sun Jun 10, 2012 2:58 am

{:-) ...Sorry.

What I got was that I have the desire and honesty needed: I don't mind finding I have been wrong. I understood already that there is a "seeing" that does not label or judge and is therefore "fresh" or "pure". I haven't been able to find "me", only awareness, for a couple of weeks now, ever since I started actually trying to find a me. I never had bothered to look before but, now that I have, "Look Ma', no me!" Yet I am not functioning in any way that is terribly different than I have for years. In fact I have been seeing the meaninglessness of the world for years, (and it bothered me initially) but, times have changed -- so much so that, for almost a year, I have been telling people: "Pay no mind to the feeling that life is meaninglesss. That too is meaningless". The shift itself is apparently not easily described. LU is cute and has an enchanting accent. He speaks of "real meaning coming up to greet you". So far as I can see, the love he describes and the meeting of my own presence is all that matters in any way. This realization, that there is no me and that experience of life can be pure and without judgment or labels, is the turn of events that is the "real meaning" that has "come up to greet me". Still reading, but going to shower and off to bed now.

Loving regards and many thanks,

Cailin

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Cailin Callahan
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Location: Jennings, Florida, USA

Re: If you're new, you can start here....

Postby Cailin Callahan » Mon Jun 11, 2012 1:36 am

Oooo... I got a LOT out of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yujQy--l ... ure=relmfu

It caused everything to stop. Then I watched the others and I got a lot out of 4 and 5 too. I can't remember dates usually. But I remember the date of my strongest satori just as this gent does: Oct 31, 2007 at 3:43 in the afternoon, Pacific Time. MUCH of what he describes, lack of agenda (relenquishing of doership), lack of a sense of need to plan, complete confidence in the moment, the awareness that the world/universe was me looking back at me thru my own eyes, lack of agenda, lack of thought, lack of attachment and stickiness, I went thru and it lasted until my mother died June 28th 3 years ago. Even then it did not go entirely away, but I realize I have been experiencing sidhis (sp?) and that I have been enjoying them. But back to the issue: everything stopped. There was a flash of recognition. I am that in which it all occurs. I am literally "not all that". I am that in which it all occurs: limitless presence, undefined, that which cannot be uttered. This has a significance to me: "that which cannot be uttered". A few years ago, before my little sister died, I had a dream in which I learned something -- one very particular and special something which, once known, made all other things unimportant and even laughable. I awoke from the dream unable to remember the thing which I had learned but I was filled with peace and bliss and complete confidence. Then, a few weeks after Cyndee died, I saw her in a lucid dream. I became lucid when I recognized her because I knew she was dead and so I realized I was dreaming. She was radiant, almost unrecognizable because of it and I asked her what had happened to her. She said "You remember that dream you had a few weeks ago in which you learned one simple thing which, once known, made all other things unimportant and laughable?" I said "Yes, I do, but I can't remember what it was! Tell me!" She smiled and shook her head and said "It cannot be uttered. It must be experienced." Right at the end of the 1st video above, it came back. We are what cannot be uttered.

I have been identified with my sidhis: special occurances and abilities that gave me a stronger sense of ego identiy to overcome. This has happened before, this shift, many times. I have been grieving the loss of the understanding of who I actually be. Since Mama died, I have been relocalized in "my story" instead of expansively IS. I have been this far many times and something happens to subvert the purification of identity process. Get an indian grip on me would ya? Pull me over, or at least, help me keep from slipping. I don't know how to hold this or how to refine it. I'm off to meditate now. More tomorrow. I'll leave Facebook chat on if you want to try to reach me. Or you can skype me: cailin callahan in Jennings, USA.

Loving regards,

C *

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Bill
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Re: If you're new, you can start here....

Postby Bill » Mon Jun 11, 2012 3:56 am

Cailin,

LOOK.
Right here...right now.
This moment. This one!
Is there a YOU anywhere??

Has there ever been??

Do you think there ever will be??

These states, dreams, sidhis...are not it.
They all come and go.
This is not about any kind of state.
We want just simple everyday reality.
The non-special kind.
LOOK. Its right here.
Nowhere else.
Your liberation is right here, right now... just as Derek describes.
a YOU can't hold onto this...

Cailin - does life experience itself or is it just happening?
Is life happening to you or as you?

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Cailin Callahan
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Location: Jennings, Florida, USA

Re: If you're new, you can start here....

Postby Cailin Callahan » Mon Jun 11, 2012 4:33 am

Life is happening as me and as all things. No there is no separate me anywhere. No there had never been any separate me. There was just a thought "I" and it was accepted as being me, but I am not even awareness. I am what makes awareness possible. No life = no awareness. "Will be" is a future that does not exist. The past that was "my story" does not exist. Now exists. I know the dreams and sidhis are not it. That's what I was trying to say. I realize NOW that I had been identified with them and they are just constructs: props that made me feel unique, helped bolster a sense of ego identity, made it harder to disidentify with "my story". But there is nothing unique because all there is is Life unfolding, manifesting as "the ten thousand things".

Good point, a ME can't hold onto this. There is no Me. What Derek said at the end of the first clip really clicked in a way that shifted me away from identification with anything that can be perceived. It was a shift of identification to the unmanifested out of which (or within which) all perceptions become possible. It stopped my thinking in its tracks. Baffled the mind and appealed completely to essence. I recognized it as truth. He did not tell me what I am. He told me what I am not and that left but the unmanifested, undefined, focused thru this body as a point of perspective but no more valid than any other. We, as we identify ourselves typically, are OF it, but those identities are assumed and temporary and not eternal = not truth, not real. In truth what we are has no descriptors, no boundaries. From the finite perspective of me as a biological entity, life is just happening but something tells me it is experiencing itself thru all manifestations. So life is happening as me and as you and as every manifested thing, but the only constant underneath all the apparent diversity is Life. That is what we are/be: Life in eternal NOW.

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Bill
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Re: If you're new, you can start here....

Postby Bill » Mon Jun 11, 2012 4:48 am

Cailin,

To me you are ready for the final questions.
Answer these when you are ready, fully, and from your own looking.


1) Is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.

3) How does it feel to see this?

4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion but is curious about it.

5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

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Cailin Callahan
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Location: Jennings, Florida, USA

Re: If you're new, you can start here....

Postby Cailin Callahan » Mon Jun 11, 2012 6:52 am

1) No, never. It was an illusion. It's all been a case of mistaken identity.

2)Separate self first appears when a body experiences "lack" or "need" which is perceived to be satisfiable by "an other" who is perceived as "not self" because it is not controlled by the perceived "will" of the one which perceives "the need". Then the words come and we are taught our name and "Mama" and "Daddy" and then relationships for "getting" appear to develop. Along the way, a story and attributes or descriptors are adopted based on what "others" tell us about our "self". Experience of the world becomes flattened by the vocabulary we learn to describe it. The life of the tree is lost in the word "tree". We no longer see it. It's just a word, a concept: Oak, Laurel, Fir, Spruce. Where we could see the Life, our words dull the experience. We are not looking. We are caught in our words. Family members are adopted as extensions of "self". The same happens with pets and objects. We are taught that "having is being": Having family gives us an history and a story and a sense of dimensionality and makes time seem real. "Loss"/ "Death" is probably the strongest persuader that we are a separate self. The perception of "Loss" hurts and causes suffering and a deepening identification with "the story" and THEN we look to "the story" for escape from loss and for redemption of our perceived losses by trying to "make some good come of them" WITHIN THE STORY. We look for some blessed turn of events that will make it all make sense within the context of our story. It's all Hollywood: we expect satisfaction to be found in owning and achieving and in titles and recognition and turns of events that will "give it all 'meaning'". THERE IS NO MEANING AND EVEN MEANINGLESSNESS IS MEANINGLESS. "Crusades and vendettas and ongoing transgenerational feuds even develop over these stories which have no reality whatsoever. And so stories of countries and international relations develop and now there is a global story -- that is utter tosh. The separate self is a misidentification with a story we have constructed about what we think happened in "our life".

And as we name it, so do we see it -- or not at all.

3) It feels odd, detached and yet peaceful. I want to laugh, but it's not quite that funny because it's just as ridiculous as it is tragic, all of the suffering that comes out of this concept of our doership. Still, even that is not emotionally sticky. It is as it is. I am not the doer. None of it was ever real and none of it ever had the power to hurt me -- OR ANYONE ELSE. I feel like nothing has any power over me at all. Nothing ever had any power except the power I erringly gave it by way of misidentification. I thought I could be hurt and so I thought others could be hurt. We are all Life eternal. There is no death. There is no loss. There is only life appearing to disappear here and appearing to reemerge elsewhere. Life is it's own justification and love is what we are. That's the way it feels: We are love. Life is love, joyous and playful and impervious.

4) I'd say "You are not your body. You are not your brain. You are not your mind. You are not your thoughts. You are not your feelings. You are not your story. You are not your work, education, or any other role. You are nothing that can be perceived or experienced. You are Life experiencing its own essence thru the perspective you think of as "your story". Nothing has ever had any power over you to "make" you sad, happy, or defeated. You are only life here and now. The past was just an illusion and is gone. The future never arrives. You are the Life out of which all manifestations appear to arrise. You cannot die and every birth is just a further manifestation of the life that we all are/be, in this moment NOW. Now is all there ever is. Do not look outside what you perceive to be yourself. Look inward past all the stories and words and labels and thoughts because they are all that stand between perception of your self as some sad, fragmented little tale and the Truth of your own expansive eternal nature."

5) I've been looking. I did not see until Derek directed my looking away from all the things I am not. All that was left was the unmanifested, boundless, undefined Life. It stopped my mind completely in its tracks. It was like someone handed me the boxtop to the jigsaw puzzel to which I had always had all the pieces and had no idea how they went together because I was looking at the wrong side of the pieces. ...Duh...

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Bill
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Re: If you're new, you can start here....

Postby Bill » Mon Jun 11, 2012 9:04 pm

Hello Cailin,

You answers are confirmed by the fellow guides.
Very nice that Derek's video helped you...its always something different
that resonates with each of us.
Thanks for your willingness to take a deep look and take the feedback.
It was a pleasure to work with you.

So now you will notice you are blue in color.
There are a few extra places on the website that are opened up to you.
I have sent you an email with some other info.


Take care and we will see you in the Unleashed FB group and
the Unleashed section of this website.
We call it the aftercare for the LU forum.
There are a few other groups too, once you get there I'd be happy to point
them out.
And if you are interested in guiding at some point in the future, just let
us know.
Very nice to work with you and I'm very happy for you.


Much love,
Bill


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