ok, list all your expectations one by one.
ok will do that and come back.
. Discovering WHO I really AM. Stopping to see life from the filters (fears, beliefs) but for what it really is.
.More Peace from that process. Profound one. I already am more peaceful from last fall where I had a spiritual initiation (crazy sometimes) but I sense, knowing the Truth, there is more to come.
. Letting LIFE flow in and outside of me. BE is what I'm looking for, more and more.
.Knowing what the Masters talk about by "I AM", "BEINGNESS". Growing even more from that first step which is the Gate, knowing there is no-self.
I already know the body won't change, the fears are not gonna dusappear. LIFE will go on it does now, but my way of seeing it will be different. Less - to not at all - involved in the feelings/emotions understanding better what they really are and letting them be.
To BE is my ultimate goal. And I see this process as a wonderful step to get that goal.
Process that I WILL DO. I want to do it. I want to experiment it to KNOW it deeply without a doubt !
I think it's about that
Ok, there is no WHO.
That is all we are pointing at.
No who at all. Only being- verb, not subject.
There is only flow of life, nothing outside of it- ups and downs are flow. Nothing can go against the flow or hold the flow. Whatever is happening is happening as it should.
You wont know what masters are talking about until you take a look for yourself.
Thinking is not LOOKING.
Thinking that something needs to be achieved in order to be is a trap.
There is nothing but being. Nothing but present moment.
What is not complete in the present moment? Is there something lacking here, now?
Did I write thinking in the expectations? sorry if I did... LOOKING for sure and EXPERIMENT is ALL of the process, ALL Life . And WHAT AM I was also what I meant .. I rarely say who. hmm. sorry for the confusion then.
What is not complete in the present moment? the more and more I see it, .. nothing. Everything is perfect as it is because it is the Present Moment.
Something lacking here now? feelings would say yes, but feelings are thought - they cannot be in lack if I don't "think / hold on" them keeping them alive as such. So no, something lacking here now, no. (with the new point of view of NO WHO, just BEING. Which is very fragile (still) for now but coming to that with more experience of it)
BEING is very fulfilling as I felt it so far. BEING just there, in the present moment. Less thoughts, no fear. JUST here. I LOVE THAT. FEEL very happy in that state.
IF... if I go back to the thinking process, then yes there will be tons of lacking things but that would be with the human eyes, the mind and body. don't want to go there anymore, I felt the useless in that way of seeing life.
AND I understand (see, feel the why) that, there are some answers that cannot be "given" to me as long as I have not experienced them (Like what Masters mean by I AM, ONENESS, etc.) That's why so far here or forum I haven't asked much questions - for the future - as I want to experiment it myself. Cannot explain to someone what is the present moment - has to be lived, experimented then the answer comes. I'm perfectly fine with all of that. Want to feel everything, if not I would have read tons of books like many does. I didn't (about that subject) because I knew that it would not help me to "know" (feel, see, ..)
BEING is also a clearer mind for whatever is there IN that moment. I felt it many times. SO calm, SO peaceful, just that moment, that object or that conversation. I saw myself listening to someone very aggressive / full of anger and anxiety, impatient, etc. you see the picture.. few days ago. Just listening to what she had to say. I was just there, no thoughts at all. The mind was just an ecco of her own voice, nothing else was going on. No "oh she is so angry at that, oh did I add that for the grocery list, oh.. this and that. " no. Nothing but BE in her presence, at that moment. NO fear, NO thoughts. JUST BE. VERY fulfilling.
(sorry for the long answers) it will get better and better as I get closer to the WHAT, for now it's overflow of JOY that is there, really JOY, a deep one. Catch me each time
Great. So, do you exist?
Apparently, no if I "let myself go into" the Present Moment, I felt/saw I was a thought (body/mind) 2 days ago, that I keep alive to get a sense of identity (body parts, thoughts, emotions, house/car, relationships, etc.). NO. I don't as a ME, Johanne, Self.
But it's still fragile for now, meaning it's allllll very new to me. (Present Moment also, being swallowed by it) but very fulfilling. It needs to be MUCH more than a thought. I'm sure.
:)))) wow. all good. let it settle in.. what was it that made you look? how did that happen?
Yes I see that I need the time to swallow that new informations - which is not strong enough in me but will be - with good people like you!
What was it that made me look? ENOUGH of struggling, looking at the wrong way of seeing life. Deep inside, I knew it had to be more than what my human eyes were seeing. Couldn't be just a battle of emotions/ thoughts. It needs to be more and intuition is very strong, got few flashes in the past months of - what if... not what if for a thought but what if there is something much more than this body/mind.
READY to let go everything. EVERYTHING. Beliefs, house, car. (identity) ready.
DETERMINATION to look and ACCEPT whatever was there (is there). Not judging, just looking. Not saying it is the truth - will get better but open to look and accept. JUST BE with what is there.
(I like you "all good" hahahah.. makes me feel at school again)
(lke YOUR... all good : ) )
can you describe the precise moment when seeing happened? :)))
When I saw the thought? (me being a thought?) It came as a flash. If the body is a thought, if the mind is a thought.. what else can I be? But I am talking about the "identity" not the real me. The self, Jo, me mine my... is a thought, allllll fixed with other thoughts that I hold on for years as real. But if I don't put a thought in the body, the fear (ex.) is there but not mine. it is in the body but it's not "my" fear, it's just an identification I gave to it for years. I AM not the body/mind.
cool. what is real you?
not sure yet. But I can feel a Presence. A unlimited Presence. No spatial location or specific place . When I'm really IN the Present Moment I can feel that, it's all there at the same time, like in one mili second, it's there
yes, it's always here, this feeling of aliveness, presence.
is it the REAL ME?
I LOVE THAT...
no, there is no real me.
meant not me as me but me as What I Am me (complicated with words )
yes, language can be quite complicated and it is difficult to express at the beginning.
tell me, is there a you in any form or shape in reality?
no specific place, no spatial location just feel a (no form) energy, a Presence. The only shape I know is the body but it is not what I am, it's the identification of a me in this world. (which is not the reality)
awesome. looks that you are ready for the final questions.
1) Is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.
3) How does it feel to see this?
4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion but is curious about it.
5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
you're kidding ?...
no background. no informations on whatsoever and 2 days later I get the final questions? my... eeee.. okay I will answer them honestly.
1) No. no shape - but the body we know as a shape, but the body as the mind, is a thought hold together to gave us the "wrong idea" we were that. Identify with the body (emotions, feelings) and the mind (thoughts) but we are not. We never were. No me. Just a BE.
2) Because we thought we were the body/mind the illusion is from there. We identify with the thoughts as real, as us. We think we are the power of the thoughts. The thoughts come and go through the mind but by holding on some as true, we give them power to exist and to produce feelings/emotions in the body. Build-up stories then show up and we think they are us, they are real - we make them real, we materialize the thoughts (car, house, etc.)
3) VERY liberating (understand your forum title even better ) To understand that gosh.. it's just a thought.. why giving it so much attention? !!. FREEDOM is very close (freedom of the mind). The life will go on. but the way of seeing it is yet different.
4) First I would tell the person to let go ALL the beliefs, the GURU's, / Masters book read or seminars followed as they won't help here. It is not something learned it is something that we need to see/feel. It comes in different ways but it comes and WE know when WE know it. Very simple but have to accept what it is, not judging it, just seeing it as it is and flowing in it. The Present Moment is the only Truth as it contains ALL. AND for sure I would refer the person to your website, no question asks
5) Was sure it could not be LIFE like I was seeing it. It didn't fit. Being born, learning tons of things, they dying? nan.. something more fulfilling was there for sure. And seeing more and more the build-up stories from the mind, really seeing it as the observer, made me realized I could not be that. impossible. Was ready for anything and everything. Determination is the key.
(point 4: when I say to let go all.. the person can keep her beliefs, master/guru, books.. but not while she/he is doing the process as it will interfere with it)
Awesome, Johanne, I see that seeing happened. We'll talk tomorrow. I'm delighted to be part of your journey. :))
Let it settle in.
it DID. I'M SOOO GRATEFUL that you are in it ILONA. SO GRATEFUL. you could not even imagine.
Ooops I didn't answer correctly? some things are missing maybe. Well, I wrote as I saw and felt it (and I feel it).
Thanks for ALL the WORK you do with us ALL. So appreciated Ilona !
Love from Quebec Canada !