Wonderful. Don't count on it though that there will always only be good feelings.cracked down the fact that most fights and unpleasant feelings could be avoided if we don't give ground to the seed, which is "self-ing" thoughts... for me, it was the: "I slept bad, it's your fault, what I am gonna do all day... and so on that did it!
I know, and I expected so. Life has to go its own way, with hard times, good times. only difference is the fight is fought at the moment it's needed, you don't drag it along anymore, nor build anger, resentment, and destructive thoughts.Wonderful. Don't count on it though that there will always only be good feelings.
Hmmmm... Anger can rise for a good reason, when needed. like worries... I guess if my daughter or wife are attacked by a maniac, or disappear all day without a word, or have an accident, I might as well experience those feelings. what would change is the response I'd give it. It might last only an heartbeat, or an hour, but won't drag me in the self-ing painful thoughts that would keep me building more pain.What if anger, jealousy, worries arise? Would that mean "the self is back?"
No, there never was, only an illusion, a big one, called a belief in a ME, with loads of needs.1) Is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
it is to be dependent of our surroundings, to believe we are or are not this kind of good or bad person, to believe in a worthiness sanctioned by others' or own judgement, gauged by self assertion or criticism. the illusion of separate self is to feel the pain of being, by translating every stimuli in a personal challenge, making one believe in a better life if this or that is done according to the thoughts nurturing the feelings. I believe it starts from early childhood, when we are asserted first by parents and family as having some other person's traits or habits...some capacities, capabilities, etc, and it builds on to make believe of a "mould" we belong to, or need to comply with. Then it keeps growing the seed by interaction with others, teachers, friends, with short lived judgements on our actions or behaviors, comments on how we should be or have been. there is never place for the RIGHT NOW, for freedom, all is suggested subtly, slowly, insidiously, until we lose innocence totally and become what will please the community we live around. it's an adjustment to others fears and desires, to society. and then we are what thoughts tells us, leading a life on a narrow path, always on an edge, scared of falling right or left. we live in fear, best food for thought, repositioning the SELF every now and then, trying new lives when one becomes too tight like and old suit.2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.
it feels silly from my actual place. a waste. all this time in pain, without seeing the truth that is simply here3) How does it feel to see this?
hmmm. a tough one! not being great at teaching, not sure how I would bring this up. it is really fresh, and not quite settled in at the moment, so I'd go in every direction, trying to describe the world to a blind man!4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion.
A bad night, morning anger towards a loved one, she had a strange look in the eyes, non- understanding but still forgiving, and here it was... the sudden realization that the night was the past, I was in the NOW, thoughts were clouding my moments of life, and nothing was worth anger nor attitude. all I was seeing around was love and care. I felt myself (no other word for it, sorry.. ) looking inside me. there was no ME angry anymore, gone, vanished, not even the memory of it, only the threads slowly dissolving. tiredness disappeared, and it felt good, I FELT good. I started to smile, to see the colors, the mirror, the lights, and to sing. I spent the day singing and looking. I started to see, really see: people and things, not images or projections of my fears or desires. It felt so different. lot of compassion, the real one I never experienced before. Now, I keep looking the NOW. there is a quality, an intensity to it.5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
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