Many people report this kind of yoyoing, particularly at first.. Once again, there was a glimpse of something on Monday night, it faded on Tuesday, and Wednesday morning for about five hours was again a sudden low slump. It was like 'the self' came roaring back and threw up old wounds to be angry or sad about,
The 'self' seems to 'come roaring back' but has there ever been an unchanging entity that could 'go away' in the first place?
I suppose we could talk in terms of noisy and annoying thoughts? And when those abate it can seem that 'self has gone'? But does any thing go away or come back?
Against the odds. Though the irony is that nothing is being 'destroyed'... Just noticed?. It's like the self is battling to survive.
Yes it could be. Many many people experience a legacy (let's say). Immediately after my own conversation I found that I was generally very happy but all emotions tended to be more obvuous. Anger could flare up easily This did not have to be expressed, but was very noticeable and interesting.. Put this down to the the Dark Night of the Soul or something. It's rough! But perhaps this bit of life was already in it before starting this process. At least the pattern is obvious now.
Good to notice this kind of thing.. There's a memory of and craving for more desirable emotions, and sadness that this craving isn't being met.
Let me know how you're getting on?
I'm traveling for several days starting Sunday. I may or may not be able to post. Not sure about Internet access. I will try though. Do write and even if I can't answer for a couple of days feel free to post a couple of times anyway.