These thoughts seems to appear from nowhere! A point of nothingness at the middle of my body, around my heart? Like a bubble that pops up and then dissolves back into nothing. A space of nothingness at the centre of my being.Can you point and locate where these thoughts appear ?
I feel like I can begin the process of a thought, like there is an intention that happens before the thought that then leads to the thought. But the actual appearance and dissolution of the thought and the sensations I can't.Can you control these thoughts, emotions, sensations changing ?
Right now I have a lot of sadness and I don't think I can control it. There are sensations and emotions of sadness, then I can try to think something about the sadness or analyze it in some way, but I can't control that these sensations are here and changing slightly. I can remove my resistance to them which makes them stronger, makes me want to cry. I have a choice in allowing them to pass through, I think. Rather than resisting them and pushing them down.
I need to actually look. If I just open my eyes I generally don't notice because I am thinking something. When you say open your eyes if I do that and intentionally look, I don't need to do anything further to see the view.when you open eyes and see colours and shapes, do you need to do anything in order to see the view?
I just have to pay attention to sounds. Before you asked there were sounds but I was not noticing, now that I am paying attention I don't have to do anything further, sounds are here.do you need to do anything to hear sounds?
The sensation is there. I just have to pay attention to it and it's there.how about touching things, is the sensation there by itself or you switch it on and off?
They are there, oftentimes I forget! But they are there when I am willing to pay attention to taste and smell.taste, smell, are you in charge of that or it's simply there?
No I do not. These things just happen by themselves.do you move the blood and make heart beat?
They will happen, but my attention does make a difference. Sometimes I think I have to pee but I have learned that I don't really have to, if I wait the urge goes away until later. Also if I am constrained and stressed my bowels do not work as well.do you need to manage other bodily funtions or not?
I can control where I place my attention and I can control my intention. This is very difficult for me though, this is where I struggle. For example, I have an intention to build a mindfulness and yoga therapy practice. There are tasks I need to do like posting on my webpage, sending out e-mails, doing marketing on my packages, etc. in order to make this happen.What can you control at will ?
But, many times I wonder if this is the best use of my energy. I already have a full time job and I have a family. I have opportunities to work on myself and be space for others at all times. I can always bring more compassion, service and love to everything I do. So do I even need to do this business project? Or do I just forget about it? I don't always know what to do, in fact I never really know if what I am doing is the right thing, unless I am just being present with myself or others.
It's like I can't plan. I can only be. This is frustrating! How do I know what to spend time on? Do I only choose one thing at a time in the moment and let go of planning? I let the business thing figure itself out? I don't control it? Should my intention be to do this business?
Or maybe my intention stays at the true purpose of the business, to bring compassion, service and love to everything I do. To help reduce suffering in any way I can. To share the gift of mindfulness and presence with the world through every moment. Maybe that is enough. And if I'm called to do the packages or e-mails or whatever great, but if not, that's ok too.
Is that how we do life? I'm not sure!!!