First, there was some ego backlash, with frustration, anger, and a wanting to give up this seeking. But in the end I know that I won't give up this path.
frustration, anger -> emotion and thought, right?
"wanting to give up this seeking ..." -> thought, right?
ego backlash -> and what is this ????
Its fine that you saw a lot of "true nature about thought".
It is an immense castle of beliefs.
yes and when the true nature of the thought is realized, the entire house of cards collapses.
I'm still believing that there is a hidden "I" in the middle of it.
nothing wrong with this thought. just a thought. Can you find more?
Especially, as a source of thoughts.
If this is more than a thought we would find proves in direct experience. otherwise it would be like saying "The world is crowded by blue aliens - no one ever has seen one - but I know they are here!"
Do this exercise again and look for this " hidden "I" in the middle of it":
Take some time and sit quietly for about 30 minutes and notice the arising thoughts.
Just let them appear as they appear. Try your best to COMPLETELY ignore what they are
saying and just notice how they appear without you doing anything at all.
Where are they coming from and going to?
Did you do anything to make a particular thought or thoughts appear?
Could you have done anything to make a different thought appear at that exact moment
Can you predict your next thought?
Can you select from a range of thoughts to have only pleasant thoughts?
Can you choose not to have painful, negative or fearful thoughts?
Can you pick and choose any kind of thought?
Is it possible to prevent a thought from appearing?
Can you find any hidden "I" in the middle of it as a source of thought?
have fun, love ve