LL Curtis - This is your thread

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Trinity
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Re: LL Curtis - This is your thread

Postby Trinity » Thu Mar 15, 2012 8:27 pm

Ok!

Thank you!

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Trinity
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Re: LL Curtis - This is your thread

Postby Trinity » Fri Mar 16, 2012 10:15 pm

Ok...

Drum Roll...

This may be putting the cart before the horse again, but that's ok!

:)

Looking forward to what you have to say to that PM still!


1) Is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No, only in thought!

What is quietly amazing right now is that this could have been so easily believed all this time.

Also, what has been fascinating to contemplate, is the implication of the fact that I can’t really prove a real past. It is all a thought arising in experience now.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, and how it works.

In my experience anyway, what it looks like is a combination of images, sounds, thoughts and sensations, that combined, take on a flavor (an "I" thought) of Loralee, that are formed around a core story of inadequacy.

How it works:
What is seen is that it arises after experience to "claim" experience as its own. (Although that is impossible). But what was seen through Ingen’s facilitation, is that this can never experience experience…impossible! And it always comes in after experience like an interpreter, or moderator. So, I think it is safe to say, it is always in the past. It is always commenting on what was, and seems to use conditioning (beliefs) as its view.

3) How does it feel to see this?

Great question! Different every time, but with a common theme.

Example: Yesterday, I noticed the self-ing all over the place. On and off there was the experiencing of shifts in perception, and noticed the mind coming in to claim it and interpret it, (non-stop there for a bit). And this thought arose, “This is going to be challenging because I have such a strong mind!” And then the inquiry arose to question that, because that was just another “I” thought labeling experience.

The moment that that was seen through, the experience was of “Wow!...not rea!...That was just another “I” thought!” (Very similar to remembering something you forgot on your grocery list! Like something that dawns on you.) And then this relief or expansion or lightening was felt in the body, (like a weight had been lifted), and amazement of how real that had seemed before…and it was just another thought that had been believed in for so long! And then this gratitude arose for seeing this. And then for Ingen, and then for Liberation Unleashed, because I don’t know how these things could have been seen through (for me anyway), until this “I” thought was seen through. I have been trying for so long, diligently, with Byron Katie’s Work, and other inquiries.

...And then the tears! Ha ha!

Another example was last night. There was a lot of intense self-ing going on because there were some strong emotions attached. So I pulled the focus of attention to what is looking through the eyes until there was clear seeing, and then by oscillating from the clear seeing to the heavy mind structure, it popped…very much like a soap bubble popping!

As far as my first seeing, (in that moment of obviousness), there was a wooooooh! And just this subtle amazement of how this could have ever happened. It was like a very quiet… ”Hello!...this is just too obvious...you are not a thought!”

So, on and off now it seems to be more perplexing that this was ever believed, and how hard it has been to see through it until now. (AND, how easy it is to get sucked back into that!). It is still very subtle though. (And like I just said, I get sucked in a lot). And you know...it wasn't like a lightning strike, like expected. Or rolling around on the ground laughing, or whatever. Just very simple.


4) How would you describe it to somebody who is very interested, but has never heard about this illusion?
I love this question. It took me the longest actually. It is tricky.

What I would do is to start out with sharing my own experience of what life has been like believing what I thought I was. I would briefly go in to the journey of body improvement, career improvement, material things improvement, and when that didn’t give me any lasting satisfaction, I thought it meant something was wrong with my self-esteem… so then came personality improvement, (which only works if you can become a shape shifter around everyone you meet). Useless! And then explain how much this was experienced as so much unhappiness and stress, peppered with very few genuine moments of happiness in-between!

Then I would explain that one day, I read the words “you are not what you believe.” And that never occurred to me. I thought I was what I believed. That felt like such a relief to hear! And what I learned after researching the subject, and staring to work on the limiting beliefs I had and seeing through some of them as not being true, that for most of my life, what I thought I was, was only a product of what I have been taught and told so many times over and over, that I started believing it. Which was Not Good! And It occured to me that if something is an illusion (not real) than would it ever be possible to make better or improve something that is not real to begin with.

So then, my experience became more of a matter of this being the fundamental importance of my life to discover for myself before I die, what is true, beyond what I have been taught or told.

And then finally, through the guidance of Ingen, I came to see that what I thought I was, was truly just a thought! Wow! And so now, this frees me up to experience life directly without the burden of the weight of that idea – an idea that just wasn’t true anyway.

So, in clearly seeing this for myself, I get to see easily more and more, all the ways that I have identified myself with thoughts that say I am this or I am that, which leaves me free to just experience what is real, rather than having this idea run the show!

And then maybe throw in: "Try it if you are interested...you'll like it! Besides, what do you have to lose but a bunch of belief's that create unhappiness anyway!"

And leave it as simple as that, and use intuition to guide.

5) What was the last bit that pushed you over made you look?

Knowing Ingen was there as a support. Then a choice was made in the moment that sounded like: ”What the Hell!...what do I have to lose? I’m not making it out of here alive! I don’t want to die before seeing this! God, I could be dead tomorrow...or, for that matter, I could be dead tonight! So if not now, when? I am never going to be more ready. There is always going to be another reason that I am not ready enough. This is the only thing I care about anyway. It is now or maybe never.

And then…

”The Jump”!

Yay!

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Ingen
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Re: LL Curtis - This is your thread

Postby Ingen » Sat Mar 17, 2012 5:48 pm

Congratulations, Loralee, you made it!

Now you can help Scott do his groups. Or, better, help us here, if you feel inspired to!

I'll send you a PM with the info about the aftercare groups.

Thank you for your enthusiasm and poetic drama. :)

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Trinity
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Re: LL Curtis - This is your thread

Postby Trinity » Sat Mar 17, 2012 6:48 pm

What?

Just like that?

I guess this means I'm being kicked out of the nest, huh!

(sniff)


Well?...

Hm...


Well, you know Batgirl by now and you know she can't sign off without some poetic drama!

So, here we go!...

Oh...wait...excuse me here, but you forgot my official promotion!
(Arms crossed, Bat tail swishing!)

Remember?...

You are being promoted from Bat Girl to Trinity ;)

So about that promotion....

Hm...
(I just have to tell here, that I just absolutely totally adored that you said that!)

(sniff -sniff)

(It is funny what gets to us, huh!)

Ok..
I accept!

Trinity reporting for duty!
I would love to assist here in any way I can. It would be an honor!

:)))


(deep sigh)


So in taking this new title now, among so many things you have given me,

(and most importantly)

what was taken away...

(...that never existed in the first place! He He!)

I say...

Thank you Ingen!
in the deepest, deepest of ways!

(I know...I know... move on.)



Logging off with a heart full of love and gratitude!
Loralee

Wait...or was that Bat-girl?

NO!...

It's Trinity now!

Wait....

....

..

.

Just This






XX!


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