Never too late!

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Kaarin
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Kaarin » Wed Nov 15, 2017 10:37 am

That empty rabbit thing did wake me. First came feelings, I am not empty shell - it felt awful. Then it came sorrow, it was like chock. After those emotions I understood what you ment. Of course! I am an empty shell, there is only this cover, there is no me. Felt stupid. And after feeling stupid I start to see how tight this kind of beliefs are.

About those beliefs, I did think that I am part of something, onenes, whatever...it has been so deep in me. Yes, in ME. Can see it now, that if there were some universe, I cannot be sure of it. It is a belief, just a belief which isn't true. I am not sure if I have still some beliefs, I am not sure of anything, maybe it is a start of being nobody.

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Andrei
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Andrei » Wed Nov 15, 2017 11:42 am

Of course! I am an empty shell, there is only this cover, there is no me. Felt stupid. And after feeling stupid I start to see how tight this kind of beliefs are.
Can you give it a couple of days, a week maybe, and live with this empty shell paradigm and see if any reactions, any hidden beliefs come to life?

I am not sure if I have still some beliefs, I am not sure of anything, maybe it is a start of being nobody.
Some beliefs are very deeply rooted. Some might still govern you and you wouldn't even know what and where they are. That is the bad news. The good news is that you can cast light onto them and watch them disintegrate and fade away. You do need to be on the lookout though, and the perfect example is the individual self - collective self. You were happily deconstructing one while leaving the other fend for itself, maybe even growing in strength.
As soon as a contraction appears, as soon as you feel the need to react to some outside stimuli, that's a clear sign that there is a piece of programming at work somewhere, a script that still needs to be erased. The self is not a big ball of something or nothing. It's not just white or black.There are shades of gray in between as well. It's bits and pieces that need to be looked into individually.
What we do here is step one: seeing through the illusion of the self. So has that been seen through?
Ask yourself that and watch for any contractions/reactions on one hand and watch for the mind trying to weave its stories on the other.
No answer would be the best answer.

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Kaarin
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Kaarin » Wed Nov 22, 2017 10:06 am

Still working this all. Writing helps a lot and with it I can see that that stuff I wrote is full of shit.
It's much easier to see all that lie which I have believed.
But as I said, it continues - will be back after a while...

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Andrei
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Andrei » Wed Nov 22, 2017 10:16 am

Does this method actually helps?
Because with every illusion dispelled there should be LESS of "you" and not more.
Are you trying to dispel the stories by keep creating stories? Are you running in circles?

As soon as an illusion/story/belief pops its head out, look and see in direct experience whether it exists or not.
That's it. Everything else is a mind game.

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Kaarin
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Kaarin » Wed Nov 22, 2017 10:36 am

Well that I ment...I was writing down my answer on paper first. And while writing down I saw it wasn't true. Saw that illusion.
While working, doing all kind of stuff, it's harder for me to see illusions...

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Andrei
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Andrei » Wed Nov 22, 2017 11:07 am

Good then. Keep at it.
I find writing helps me a lot too.

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Kaarin
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Kaarin » Fri Dec 01, 2017 8:57 am

Hi, last week I have just been and seen what's going on. I have noticed a lot of beliefs, stories or how should I name them. Some are very scary, even cannot see what they are and where they come from, just feel them and as you said 'cast light onto them'.
Anyhow, I have realized that lastly they are stories which are not true. I have been working to see that only this moment is true, what i see, hear, feel NOW. And as I said before, writing is a method which helps me to see.

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Andrei
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Andrei » Fri Dec 01, 2017 9:32 am

Why are the stories scary? Do they make you weary or embarrassed or anything? And if so, how do they do that?

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Kaarin
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Kaarin » Fri Dec 01, 2017 9:45 am

There just somewhere becomes very scary emotion and when I look it, feel it, it goes away. I fase it, and try to feel what it tells me. Sometimes I manage to get an idea, what this emotion is, then its easier to see and let it go.
I feel quite sensitively other people, so have been thinking, could these 'emotions' become elsewhere..

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Andrei
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Andrei » Fri Dec 01, 2017 12:29 pm

It is very likely that those energies come from the others. I guess nobody is an island. We can all feel to a degree the mood of others. That is not the problem, unless we take those emotions and we start building stories around them.

What about the self though? Is there any doubt left about seeing through this illusion/belief?

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Kaarin
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Kaarin » Sat Dec 02, 2017 6:33 pm

I have been watching last few days if I have doubts seeing threw the illusion. I have had couple of 'wow'-feelings already some time ago when I realized how it works when I believed in stories and thoughts. Can see now how the stories were created and how I had formed opinions over them and thought they were truth. It was long way to realize for real how this all works!

Now I feel quite negligible, in a good way. No wow-feelings, just beeing and seeing what's going on around. I don't see any doubts to see threw the illusion. Actually can see now how complex people can make their life, I did it too.

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Andrei
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Andrei » Sat Dec 02, 2017 8:10 pm

What you said reminded me of something. In the ancient times when people were going to war they used to have a banner made of a wolf`s head on a pike. They kept the wolf's head high above them and the wind going through the wolf's mouth used to make an eerie noise to frightened the enemy.
That's what we are really, an empty shell and the thoughts making up stories are just, well, wind.

I'm glad to see you have your resolution. I will check with the others and get back to you if they have any questions.
If not, hope to see you on FB, and if you have any questions I'll be here. :)

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Kaarin
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Kaarin » Sat Dec 02, 2017 8:45 pm

Ok, thank you, Andrei

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Andrei
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Andrei » Sun Dec 03, 2017 3:46 pm

Could you answer the final questions again to see if anything else pops up?

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you seeit now.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
6) Anything to add?

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Kaarin
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Kaarin » Sat Dec 09, 2017 5:23 pm

1) No there isn't and never has been.

2) The illusion of separate self is a belief that people are separate from each other. That everyone has their own thoughts and minds and that people could control their lives and this world.
I cannot say for sure how it starts, but when I look small babys, could image that children start to feel separated when they learn language and societys rules.

3) I had couple WOW monents some time ago already. I saw how stories were composed, and were not true. Lately I feel more like negligible, in a good way. Life is more simple and it"s interesting to observe what's going on. No control and planning, just let things happen.

4) Like I said, got that wow moment some time ago. I realized how I had made stories, thought they were true. When I realized that other people saw the same situation whole different, that was a huge realization and I saw how stories and thoughts were just illusion. After this I had some doubts which I have seen over.
Nowadays I enjoy this calmness and peace. Feel free.

5) We people are empty shells, we cannot have an influence on what's going on or control our lives or anything else. And there is no need, either. I cannot know what makes things happen, they just happen. Life feels now more simple, no planning and controlling or anything else, just being and let happening. And it still suprises me every now and then how easily life goes nowadays.

6) -


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