Never too late!

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Andrei
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Andrei » Thu Oct 26, 2017 10:18 pm

Take as much time as you need. And look into the concept of "mind". What is it? What is it made of? What does the actual word "mind" points to? Does it point to something that has an actual existence?
What is it made of? After you find out its components look into those as well. And on and on until there is nothing left.

If you need any help with it let me know.

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Kaarin
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Kaarin » Fri Oct 27, 2017 5:16 am

Thank you, Andrei!

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Kaarin
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Kaarin » Tue Oct 31, 2017 3:46 pm

First it came to me that mind is a separate self. I started to look what is it made of. I found f.e. thoughts, stories, control, will. I looked them and found that they are just mind's tools. And I noticed that mind always wants to look at past or to future, never at this moment.

I realized that all things that happen in this moment are true. If I look past, cannot say it is true, eather future is not true. Even some happening one minute ago isn't anymore true. Everything true happens just NOW.

Then I realized suddenly that I was still thinking about two entities, still thinking there is a mind! BUT It is only an illusion, it doesn't exist, it came up quite clear!

Now I feel that need some help to continue. I am close but something still waits for to be found ;)

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Andrei
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Andrei » Tue Oct 31, 2017 11:20 pm

Then I realized suddenly that I was still thinking about two entities, still thinking there is a mind! BUT It is only an illusion, it doesn't exist, it came up quite clear!
Yes! That's it. I'm glad you noticed.
That's looking. Don't leave any stone unturned. Nothing is sacred.

Now I feel that need some help to continue. I am close but something still waits for to be found ;)
Like what? Look and watch where looking takes you.

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Kaarin
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Kaarin » Sat Nov 04, 2017 4:42 pm

I found a fear which prevents me to succeed, it convinces me that I am not good enough to do this. That fear has been limited my hole life.

It isn't true, and now I have to look it carefully, and let it go.

Any advice?

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Andrei
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Andrei » Sat Nov 04, 2017 8:06 pm

What is that thing, you call fear, made of?

Who is not good enough?

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Kaarin
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Kaarin » Sat Nov 04, 2017 8:36 pm

Stories, fears are made of stories and thoughts which are not true.

And it is an illusion that I wouldn't be good enough because there is no I, no me, no self!

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Andrei
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Andrei » Sat Nov 04, 2017 9:00 pm

Very nicely put, but do you s e e or is it just a conclusion you reached? Basically, just another story.

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Kaarin
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Kaarin » Fri Nov 10, 2017 10:33 am

Hi there, sorry about long delay! I have been hesitating to answer, because have been working eight days continuously and want to give time to look.

I notice that fears (like I am not good enough or guiltiness etc...) which appear somewhere are just thoughts, and not true. They are stories among other stories. When this kind of fear appears now, I am able to look through it and see it's only a thought. It takes still time to look but I can see now that fears which appear don't exist at all, they are not true, just illusion. Somehow I feel now that it's relief to unleash, feel happy and joyful!

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Andrei
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Andrei » Fri Nov 10, 2017 11:25 am

Did a shift happen? Did this seeing through the illusion of fears and stories really occur or is it just the whim of the moment?
I ask because we talked about fears before once or twice, and we talked about stories countless times, and each time you come saying how you saw through the illusion and how happy you feel and some weeks later you tell me how you're afraid of something new.

What is there in direct experience right now happening in your life? Tell me what does the word Kaarin stands for and what do Kaarin's thoughts, desires, responsabilities, work, achievements, position, etc. amounts to?

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Kaarin
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Kaarin » Fri Nov 10, 2017 6:51 pm

What I see now is that mind, which I have been believed in is an illusion. There is no me, just my body and thoughts which come and go.

I am not afraid. Fears which I have talked about are believes of f.e. from childhood. Some believes may still arise but when I look them, they disappear.

There is no Kaarin, no me. I have this body, which is getting older and after old enough it dies. But nothing true never dies. I'm part of everything which is the truth, the real being. There is no room for mind, it is an illusion.

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Andrei
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Andrei » Fri Nov 10, 2017 11:24 pm

But nothing true never dies. I'm part of everything which is the truth, the real being.
What is true?
What is this "everything"?
What is "the truth, the real being"?

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Kaarin
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Kaarin » Sat Nov 11, 2017 8:54 pm

This everything... universe, oneness, flow. There is only truth which remains when illusion of mind can be seen and can be understood that there is only this oneness, flow, of which we are part of.

And with real being I ment being without mind, ego, just letting things happen, without any force, mind.

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Kaarin
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Kaarin » Sat Nov 11, 2017 9:44 pm

And straight experience which happens just now is true. F.e. if I see a dog just now, it is true. But when the dog runs away, and cannot see it, I can't say it is true anymore. Only this monent, what happens just now is true.

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Andrei
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Re: Never too late!

Postby Andrei » Sat Nov 11, 2017 11:26 pm

I have the impression that you're replacing one illusion (that of an individual self) with another (that of a universal or collective self).
Am I wrong?

Let's say flow is a word ok to use to describe life, but when you say something like "oneness", well that is a concept loaded with all sorts of implications.

Were you using these concepts metaphorically or is it more than that? And I want you to think about it for a while before answering me. Mine to the core of your being and see if there is anything hiding there, like the need to be part of something... anything.

Is there anything wrong in being just nothing? And when I say nothing I really mean NOTHING.

You are an empty shell. You're a chocolate Easter rabbit empty inside. <-- Does me saying that triggers anything in you?


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