Locked in a corner

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Barbro
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Barbro » Mon Mar 13, 2017 9:42 pm

What is that is looking? Can´t find anything but presence, awareness.

Will keep looking

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Barbro
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Barbro » Tue Mar 14, 2017 5:57 am

This morning it was clear that there is nothing but presence, awareness to find. There is just being looking at itself. No big aha – just knowing.

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Ilona
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Ilona » Tue Mar 14, 2017 4:33 pm

ah, nice!

so this presence, is it made of separate parts or is it one? like you are in a room with twenty people, is presence something that is divided or it is one presence?
how do you see that?

sending love
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Barbro
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Barbro » Tue Mar 14, 2017 6:52 pm

The obvious answer is that presence is one presence. Of course! How could it be otherwise?

Being honest, i´m not sure :)
Never looked when other people around. Will take that question with me tomorrow when there will be lots of people around.

Thank you for your wonderful help and patience!

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Barbro
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Barbro » Thu Mar 16, 2017 4:38 pm

Took some time seeing, but of course there is one presence whether there are people around or not. Presence/awareness just is.

When sitting with eyes closed and calm there is being looking at itself. When active with eyes open (around people) there is also being looking at itself in various forms, shapes and perspectives. But being cannot be divided, it just is.

Mind don´t get this so it feels like putting it in words for ever and there is still just being.

Sending love

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Ilona
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Ilona » Thu Mar 16, 2017 5:05 pm

Thank you! Yes, mind does not get this, this is beyond mind. So it can relax and stop trying to grasp.
Being is.
Presence is.
Life energy is.
What else is there to know :)
All mind created idea about HOW this is, why, etc are just a way to explain something that can not be explained.

Being needs no explanation. That's the bottom of it. Being here now is always on. It's good to come back and notice that.

So are there any more burning questions?
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Barbro
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Barbro » Fri Mar 17, 2017 5:52 am

No more burning questions. Just emptiness.

Having read about emptiness, there is seeing that there were lot of beliefs about this that are no longer.

This is it. No big whatever... Feels so ordinary.

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Ilona
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Ilona » Fri Mar 17, 2017 8:27 pm

:) ordinary yes. Simple

Can you say with a big fat YES that it's clear what this separate self thingy is about?
Are you ready for the final questions or still want to explore something before that?


Sending love
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Barbro
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Barbro » Fri Mar 17, 2017 8:44 pm

A big, fat YES here! I´m ready for the final questions. No more exploration. No more trying to figure out.

Sending love

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Ilona
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Ilona » Sat Mar 18, 2017 8:12 am

Wonderful! Here they are :)

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

Please answer in full, when ready.

Much love.
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Barbro
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Barbro » Sat Mar 18, 2017 10:36 am

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No, there is no separate self and there never was. There is just being.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
What comes up is an incident when I was 5-6 years old. Some candy had disappeared. The interrogation by my father was harsh and angry and I started doubting my innocence. There was tremendous fear of God and of my father. From that day, I started to consciously hide thoughts, deeds and questions. I felt separate and guilty of course. Started building one way after another to be invisible and independent to protect myself. And the web is woven…

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
Feels relaxing. Been kind of thick-headed these last days but now it is all clear again. Difference is there is no need to look for answers anymore.
Somewhat surprising what came up as “moment of separation”, and how a fear of god has been running the show. My father wasn´t even religious (me neither) and yet managed to create a big fear of god/other.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
There was kind of giving up when looking at presence with people around. It´s as if mind gave up wishful thinking. Don’t even know what was wished for…

5) Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
Decisions are made or not made, but there is no I making decisions. There might be thought about intention to do or say something, and they might be followed through or not. There isn´t any I who owns intention. There is no free will, things happen or they don´t. Consequently, there is no choice and control and nothing makes things happen, they just happen.
Don´t know how it works, it just works and there is no I that could be responsible. There is being handling or not handling what comes up.
Example: Yesterday my daughter was coming with her boyfriend for a sleep-over. When I came home from work I was too tired to prepare anything for the visit, so I just sat. My daughter phoned to tell me about changed plans. They were coming for just a short visit, no sleep-over. It was all taken care of by itself. There was no I being responsible, there was just happening. And if they would have come, that would have worked too, one way or the other.

6) Anything to add?
Nothing to add except THANK YOU ILONA!

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Barbro
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Barbro » Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:12 pm

Hello Ilona,
Hope I can keep writing to you. Not so sure the shift has happened. Lots of wobbling these last two days. Thoughts from long ago are suddenly coming up. There is seeing how they gave properties to an I.

Noticed that I didn´t explain the illusion of separate self in my last post so here it is:
The separation starts as a baby when learning to communicate. There is experiencing which is labeled with name and properties by mother, father and people around, all believing that there is a separate me. In the process of learning language, there is learning that there is me and other. There is learning what is ok and what is not, and somewhere along that road there is feeling of not being ok, and feeling separate from what is ok.
There are no memories of this process from early age. There is just knowing that there always was being. There also was the belief that being was me, and me was hiding from … everthing!

Sending love

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Ilona
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Ilona » Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:54 pm

Thank you for answers! They sounds clear.
The wobbling is expected. There is so much that was built on the belief in a separate self entity, all that will be coming up to be seen and resolved. All the belief structure is going to collapse so that new view can emerge. This cleaning up period can be intense and bring all kinds of ghosts from the past. But now you have the ultimate tool- looking, what is true here now? You can see over and over and over again that this I is not something that comes back, but comes up on inertia.

Shift has happened. Only there are lingering expectations of what would be gained from that. The answer is nothing. Nothing needs to change, cause there never was a separate self to start with. Only a belief was accepted to be truth. So let all expectations go and centre in the presence. What is IS. That's the basis. Life/ God/ aliveness, being, consciousness, spirit, IS. The mind will try to grasp on old beliefs and will try to hold on to ideas. But you can see that now and not buy into it.

Hope this helps.
Yes. We can continue talking here for a bit.

Sending love.
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book


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