Locked in a corner

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Ilona
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Ilona » Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:32 am

Sweet!
How does it feel to see this?

Sending love
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Barbro
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Barbro » Mon Mar 06, 2017 10:25 am

It is relaxing not to try to see the meaning of life.

Today there is tiredness, dullness and it doesn´t have to be otherwise. The battle with life is slowing down… Still some strain in the chest when writing this, but can´t find anything behind when looking. Kind of not caring about it. Funny how the world seems to follow moods - when “deciding” not to care, the sun is breaking through the clouds a little…

… Kept looking what´s behind the strain in the chest. Felt small tensions releasing in one part after another in various locations in the body, thoughts about it passed by, noted that there aren´t much thought about thoughts, there is just noticing. Still can´t find anything behind the strain.

Will take a walk and keep looking.

Love
Barbro

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Ilona
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Ilona » Mon Mar 06, 2017 7:29 pm

Keep looking, yes.. it's the looking part that allows the opening. If you watch and listen with eyes and ears open and if you are receptive, then sooner or later all becomes clear. Simply looking, notincing is the 'magic trick' that when applied with pure intention opens up the silent space. Rest in that space, in other words, enjoy simply being.

Sometimes you may think that silence is the absence of answer, but it is the answer. It is saying "emptiness here"

Keep writing :)

Sending love
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Barbro
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Barbro » Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:03 am

Thank you, Ilona!

You writing keeps me going with this.

Finding more sadness when looking, does not feel like “mine” though. Just feeling it.
Funny, when there are no problems, no resisting, there are no words…

Love
Barbro

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Ilona
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Ilona » Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:05 am

Nice! No resisting, no words needed to fight what is. Sweet that you found the place where peace resides.
Always here now. Never outside, never some other time.
How does it feel to see this?
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Barbro
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Barbro » Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:19 am

Feels calm.
Is going to see my uncle who is in the hospital with terminal cancer, the sun is shining and that´s all that is for the moment.
Sending love

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Barbro
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Barbro » Wed Mar 08, 2017 9:58 am

Today there are thoughts about not liking what is. There are thoughts about being alone triggered by an old friend having met love again at old age (we are 64 years old). This is what is; loneliness, dullness. Everything changes… this is not what is in a moment. Seeing that this is what thoughts do with life if you believe them.

Feels like I should do something to fix this, but there is no I that can fix anything. Just sit with it…

Thoughts about being “hopeless case” again, but it isn´t personal.

Calm returns when writing.

Sending love

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Barbro
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Barbro » Wed Mar 08, 2017 12:19 pm

Quite a lot of words today… :)

Looking for hope, but there is no hope, just life.
If the world is a reflection of my mind, this sure is a grey and boring mind!
Seeing how thoughts are boring when they are about a me.

Life is seeing, being, experiencing, accepting, loving, giving, receiving…
Been so occupied (and withdrawn from the world) with this search for truth over the years that there has been dropping of accepting, loving, giving, receiving - life itself! Locked in a corner! There is unlocking going on and some relaxation in the chest.

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Ilona
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Ilona » Thu Mar 09, 2017 8:29 am

The world is a reflection of what is going on inside, so to make it change, the inner state has to change, then the outer reflection shows it. To change Inner state one needs to go inside, to feel the centre, to be in stillness, to notice the life force that is underneath mind and rest int that stillness as many times a day as one remembers. Little by little the joy of being can be felt and then there is not room for 'boring'.

So happy to hear that unlocking is going on!
There is something within that wants to be expressed, wants to be felt, but the locks don't let it to escape. Being receptive, attentive, listening to the inner beingness lets that something out.. And that's where the magic is found ;) and it's always here now!

What else are you noticing? Is there a burning question left?

Sending love
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Barbro
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Barbro » Thu Mar 09, 2017 2:11 pm

Read all our correspondence this morning. Noted that there was more clear-seeing in the beginning than these last days. Lots of old thoughts and feelings coming up, no clear-seeing, just confusion… Found some helpful phrases to be here now:
“leaving all hopes and fears and expectations aside you can always look at what actually is and rest in that knowing.
you can see how one life expresses as all the apparent forms and nothing is separate or connected to anything else, it's all one happening/ being”

Then I read your last post. Love you Ilona! You are such a gentle help in taking the next step.

Sat with one burning question: Since there is no “I”, who or what is resisting loves presence? There was this gentle, calm opening…

Popped out of it knowing that it is always there to rest in.

Thank you!

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Ilona
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Ilona » Fri Mar 10, 2017 9:08 am

what is resisting love's presence? the conditioned mind. all conditions have to drop, dissolve, burn if necessary, then love, pure, unconditional can flow freely and sweetly.

so what are conditions for the love at the moment, is anything hurting?

sending love your way
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Barbro
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Barbro » Fri Mar 10, 2017 10:50 am

Had some difficulties finding peace this morning. Obviously, there are still thoughts and beliefs in the way. Read the chapter “Thinking” in your book and made friends with thinking, peace came back when smoking (!)

Experienced this “thing” or peace many times before, and sometimes for long periods. Just didn´t understand that when the “I” is out of the way, there is no need to recreate the same circumstances that was present while experiencing it before.

Will take a walk before work, and ask what other beliefs there are in the way.

Thank you for being so patient!

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Barbro
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Barbro » Sat Mar 11, 2017 10:44 am

A big lump of fear in the chest. Been sitting with it, asking what is behind it, sadness and tears came, no knowing why, difficulties to breathe.

Often like this, when waking up, feeling almost panic because there is just heaviness and an obligation to lift that and fill the day. How stupid! There is no-one that could lift the heaviness or fill the day. Took some time before seeing that this was what was behind the strain today.

Thoughts about hopeless case again. How much more of these hidden beliefs are there…

Love that you are there Ilona! Having to write down what is coming up in an understandable way makes all the difference in seeing clear.

Thank you!

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Barbro
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Barbro » Sun Mar 12, 2017 4:29 pm

Today something you wrote earlier suddenly was clear: “there is noticing what is already here, which is being, aware-ing, knowing of what is happening”.

Also seeing that it always was so. Things happen, thought labels, all kinds of emotions come and go – and there is always being, aware-ing and knowing as a background. No I knowing, just knowing, being, aware-ing. No center of experience – just experiencing.

There is calm and curiosity.

Sending love

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Ilona
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Re: Locked in a corner

Postby Ilona » Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:40 pm

Oh yes, now we are talking :)
The presence that is felt is here with and without labels. It can be called I or not, it can be called orange is you like, the knowingness IS.
There is still silent place inside, when eyes are closed, the outside world shuts down, when thoughts calm down, rest in that deeply.
What is that is looking?

Sending love
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book


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