Imperium, are you ready?

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Ilona
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Re: Imperium, are you ready?

Postby Ilona » Sat Jan 28, 2012 5:30 pm

For some people it's really intense. Don't fight it, allow it. Go with it, Let it rip.
Face it, ask the question- there is no separate self at all in reality, is it true?
Let the doubt in. Ask for the truth to be revealed...

It's already happening.
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Imperium
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Re: Imperium, are you ready?

Postby Imperium » Sat Jan 28, 2012 6:25 pm

Ilona
I'm facing it and going into this. I'm asking and looking.
So far, what's known for certain is that there's an experience happening. When I look deeper there seems to be an experiencer... there seems to be someone or something having the experience. It then occurred to me that it's this "liveliness", "emptiness", "awareness" that's experiencing but with a label.
Awareness + label = "me".
Oddly, there's some doubt even though it feels correct. I need your assistance.
Love
imperium

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Ilona
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Re: Imperium, are you ready?

Postby Ilona » Sat Jan 28, 2012 6:47 pm

Experience, experiencer and experienced is one, there is no gap.

Listen, hear sound and see is there a hearer?
Dig here.

You looking right at it. Now just admit what you have always known.

:)
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Imperium
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Re: Imperium, are you ready?

Postby Imperium » Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:04 pm

Experience, experiencer and experienced is one, there is no gap.

Listen, hear sound and see is there a hearer?
Dig here.

You looking right at it. Now just admit what you have always known.

:)
As I listen, hearing is happening within awareness. There is no hearer. Hearing is happening and sounds are happening within awareness... as is the hearing of the sounds happening in awareness.
I'm experiencing a little unclarity. It's like it's right there but I can't grab it.
I'll continue on with this.
Love to you.

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Ilona
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Re: Imperium, are you ready?

Postby Ilona » Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:32 pm

Sending love to you ..

Does awareness need an I to be aware?
Can a thought awaken?
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Imperium
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Re: Imperium, are you ready?

Postby Imperium » Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:19 pm

Sending love to you ..

Does awareness need an I to be aware?
Can a thought awaken?
No awareness does not need an I to be aware.
No a thought cannot awaken.
:-)

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Imperium
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Re: Imperium, are you ready?

Postby Imperium » Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:20 pm

Sending love to you ..

Does awareness need an I to be aware?
Can a thought awaken?
No awareness does not need an I to be aware.
No a thought cannot awaken.
:-)
There is no "I" to do anything.

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Ilona
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Re: Imperium, are you ready?

Postby Ilona » Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:22 pm

what is real?
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Imperium
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Re: Imperium, are you ready?

Postby Imperium » Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:44 pm

what is real?
From what I see, what is real is that which does not change. that which is constant. No beginning, no end, no boundaries.

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Ilona
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Re: Imperium, are you ready?

Postby Ilona » Sun Jan 29, 2012 1:49 am

Let it settle in..
Then don't define the word real, but look at the real and describe what you see.
It's night time here, we'll speak tomorrow.

Much love.
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Re: Imperium, are you ready?

Postby Imperium » Sun Jan 29, 2012 4:57 am

Ilona
I need to digress to the 4th message of yours back. You said:

"Experience, experiencer and experienced is one, there is no gap.
Listen, hear sound and see is there a hearer?
Dig here.
You looking right at it. Now just admit what you have always known."

Tonight while driving I saw it! Experience, Experiencer & Experienced are inseparable.. there is no gap... ALL APPEARS IN AWARENESS! Bingo!
I don't know how I could have missed it. It's so obvious! Mamma Mia!:-)

Talk to you in the morning.

By the way.. Buon Compleanno! May you live long and prosper.
Lots of love,
Imperium

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Re: Imperium, are you ready?

Postby Ilona » Sun Jan 29, 2012 10:11 am

Ahahahaha! Mama Mia! Yes, it's so obvious and it's not even hidden.
What else you've got?

Was there ever an I/ me in reality? How does this illusion work?
How does it FEEL to see this?

:))
Sending love!
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Re: Imperium, are you ready?

Postby Imperium » Sun Jan 29, 2012 6:36 pm

Ahahahaha! Mama Mia! Yes, it's so obvious and it's not even hidden.
What else you've got?

Was there ever an I/ me in reality? How does this illusion work?
How does it FEEL to see this?

:))
Sending love!
Ilona
Two things to report. I don’t know if their related but this is what happened last night and this morning:

My experience of what I realized and shared in my last post is fresh and fragile. It seems that believing/identifying with an “I” is what causes the sense of separation & seeking. While driving I had a moment of seeing clearly that experiencer/experience/experienced all appear in awareness and therefore are not separate. This seeing was followed by a lightness of being. It’s still with me but I have to keep bringing my attention to it and is elusive.

After that experience I did some small socializing (which I rarely do at this time and am not accustomed to being around people). After 2-3 hours I began to have an anxiety attack and felt like I couldn’t relate to anyone and felt very misplaced. I came home and went to bed. This morning upon awakening I was recalling my ‘seeing’ experience. As I lay there the usual anxiety came up in my solar plexus. I remembered your advice and met it head on and opened to it, thanking it for attempting to protect me. It then became clear that the anxiety I’ve been experiencing for so many years is “worry & fear”, the “worry that I’ll fail” and the “fear of being punished” for failing. Their coupled and attached to one another. I could see this pattern in my work, my relationships and my life. It’s effected everything including my interaction with you.

As I write this the worry and fear are present and trying to cause doubt of the credibility of my experience last night. I’m doing my best to follow your advice over the past days of continuing to go back to the emptiness and stare at it… getting increasingly familiar with it and letting it wash over the doubts. I’m working hard to see the worry & fear as appearances in and not separate from awareness and just allow them.

Ilona » January 27th, 2012, 7:38 pm
“You saw that there is emptiness behind it. Go back to that emptiness, stare at it. Get familiar with it, focus on it, let it wash over all that is still arising as doubt. See that the I is empty and it's ok for it to be here, it's just a word.”

Ilona » January 28th, 2012, 11:30 am
“For some people it's really intense. Don't fight it, allow it. Go with it, Let it rip.
Face it, ask the question- there is no separate self at all in reality, is it true?
Let the doubt in. Ask for the truth to be revealed...”

Is this reaction of worry/fear coming up to be expected?
Again, Happy Birthday, and thank you for taking the time today to guide me. 
Love,
Imperium

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Ilona
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Re: Imperium, are you ready?

Postby Ilona » Sun Jan 29, 2012 7:01 pm

Yes, my friend, doubt is to be expected. And it's not an enemy, it only points to unresolved stuff. Once seeing happens, the whole structure of belief starts to fall like dominoes. Don't fear it, welcome it. There is no one to control it, just trust the process and let it be ok.

We still got some work to do here, but I see you are coming through nicely :)

Yes, it's the belief in separate I that is the root, the core of feeling separate.

I gave an assignment for you.
Watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RcjATFc ... ata_player
Then get outside, somewhere where you can sit in nature and simply observe the whole mess, the totality of what is.
See if the body of imperium is any way outside the whole. Notice the story that is being narrated by the mind and check if that is separate from what is too.

Please report when you get back. What was noticed?

Sending love.
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Imperium
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Re: Imperium, are you ready?

Postby Imperium » Mon Jan 30, 2012 8:26 pm

Yes, my friend, doubt is to be expected. And it's not an enemy, it only points to unresolved stuff. Once seeing happens, the whole structure of belief starts to fall like dominoes. Don't fear it, welcome it. There is no one to control it, just trust the process and let it be ok.

We still got some work to do here, but I see you are coming through nicely :)

Yes, it's the belief in separate I that is the root, the core of feeling separate.

I gave an assignment for you.
Watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RcjATFc ... ata_player
Then get outside, somewhere where you can sit in nature and simply observe the whole mess, the totality of what is.
See if the body of imperium is any way outside the whole. Notice the story that is being narrated by the mind and check if that is separate from what is too.

Please report when you get back. What was noticed?

Sending love.
Ilona
I am being mindful of welcoming the doubt & fear. Thank you for these words.. they are very encouraging:
“…. doubt is to be expected. And it's not an enemy, it only points to unresolved stuff. Once seeing happens, the whole structure of belief starts to fall like dominoes. Don't fear it, welcome it. There is no one to control it, just trust the process and let it be ok. “
~~~~~~~
All these years I've been under a false assumption about liberation. My expectations have been blinding me and now I'm beginning to see what you're pointing at. It's just about beliefs. Primarily, the belief in a separate "I". I can see that the “I” is a thought, as are everything it represents, and cannot be found. Yet presently there’s still a reaction as if there is one. So I still have that belief running.

My assignment: I watched the Alan Watts video. His words are very clear… the “I” is a fraud and is the basis for the suffering in the word. What’s needed is to ‘stop’ acting from this “I”ness and allow the natural process of Life.
I notice how my mind wants to label & create dramas in order to give definition to itself. Watching this video triggered fear. The fear of the meaninglessness of ‘my’ life and the addiction to being somebody, someplace.. even being special in some way. I can see that all my relationships supported my being special.. even the relationship with my son. Being somebody, someplace. I am noticing that the suffering I experience now is the result of my partner leaving me 8 months ago for someone else, and my son going to live with his mom abroad. It’s left me with the experience of being alone, terrified and not special. I’m noticing this is because of the belief in a separate “I” and its need for definition.

No the body of Imperium is not outside the whole, and the stories are not either. They all appear in awareness. I keep noticing this point and also notice that there’s a idea that I have to do something to “get” this.

Ilona, I want to also report that I re-read “Releasing the Sufferer” on your Marked Eternal blog (http://markedeternal.blogspot.com/2011/ ... ferer.html)
and can related with “D” so well. I'm reading it again. I've also read the Jed books and became very depressed. I’m very grateful that I have you to connect with everyday and to guide me to the root.
Love,
Imperium


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