1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
there never was a separate i and there is not one now though the illusion of a separate i exists when i forget. as i inquire i remember the illusion and then i forget to inquire and an evaluating intellect presides.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
the illusion of separate self is a thought of separation. it starts when i has a thought of evaluation about something that has happened. the separate self works by my paying attention and giving importance to the thoughts that arise and the evaluation of what comes to my awareness.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
it feels freeing to remember and see this. the difference now from before i started the dialogue is that the gap has increased and thoughts have lessened in quantity and importance. in the past few days i am less reactive and more present.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
i don't feel like i have fully crashed the gateless gate as there are still evaluations ahappening as well as reactions to the evaluations. what is making me look i attribute to mere observation and the continuation of self inquiry.
5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
i'm not clear about this at all Okay. it seems to me that decision, intention, free will, choice and control are the illusions of the power of the separate self. happenings just seem to happen in and of themselves and i presumes to have authored the results. how it works is unknown to me at this time. my feeling is that i am responsible for my awareness of everything that comes to my senses. an example of this is: as i type out this answer on the keyboard of the laptop i am using right now i am aware of the feeling of my fingertips punching keys, the sound of the keys being punched and the refrigerator behind me, the quality of the light above and the colors and shadows all around me, the smell of air around me and the thought of brushing my teeth because of the taste of mung in my mouth.
6) Anything to add?
in essence Okay, because: i still have a deep desire to fix my brother and my parents, i still require approval from my father, and i still fear the next step in my development, i feel like there is still room for inquiry. what are your thoughts?