Thread for Gerald.

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Re: Thread for Gerald.

Postby GeraldF » Mon Apr 06, 2015 8:50 am

Hello Ilona.

Here are my responses:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me', 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

There has never been a “me” in reality. “Me” only exists in telling the story of life. The only thing that’s real is what’s right here and right now.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

“Me” was an innocent misunderstanding/miseducation that started sometime in early childhood, I presume. Life has been carrying on organically and automatically, in response to the surrounding conditions.

The story of “me” – with its history and personality traits – plays a role in how this entity/character participates in the external world. But there’s no self-control in that. And the story is not evident right here and right now, in direct experiencing.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It feels like such a relief to see this. I’ve been seeking for so long, and I pursued so many different teachings, I’d collected a lot of confusing messages, which just resulted in more seeking to try to figure things out. In fact, I’d identified this openness before, but I was confused about what it meant – and its implication that there’s no self in control.

Now it feels relaxing to understand what the teachers were trying to explain in their various overly complicated ways.

There’s some frustration that anxiety is still coming up in some situations. But as we’ve discussed, that is just a response to the current conditions. The feelings can be recognised and felt, and eventually they pass. Maybe the conditions will shift at some point.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

There wasn’t one dramatic moment. It feels like the consistent, direct pointing has helped to clarify all the confusion that resulted from absorbing various other non-duality teachings.

One pivotal message from you, Ilona, was regarding my concerns about achieving goals. You pointed out that when conditions are right, a goal is set, and then step after step is taken. That felt like such a relief from the burden of responsibility that I’ve imagined my whole life. And that helped me settle into seeing that personal control and willpower are a myth. Things happen on their own.

No “I” means there’s no personal willpower. Everything is happening in response to overall conditions.

5) Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? Give examples from experience.

I don’t know what makes things happen, and I can’t know! Getting too intellectual with this answer feels too theoretical and presumptuous. Free will and choice are just part of a story.

What really makes things happen could be conditioning or instinct or the Intelligence of the Universe. But I can’t know for sure, and whatever anyone says is just more storytelling. It’s “none of my business,” as Byron Katie would say. In direct experience, there is just whatever is right here and right now. And it carries “me” along. From the outside, there’s a story that can string the events together. But that’s not how it’s experienced first hand.

The one place where it APPEARS that “I” might have some control is when making the choice to look and reconnect to this openness. And really there’s no control over that either! Deciding to look is just a thought that’s appearing organically as part of the bigger flow. Who know why it’s here? But it’s a relief, whatever the reason!

6) Anything to add?

I am so grateful to you, Ilona, and Liberation Unleashed for offering this service to clear things up so efficiently.

I look forward to your feedback.

With love and thanks…


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Re: Thread for Gerald.

Postby Ilona » Tue Apr 07, 2015 7:32 am

Welcome home....

Much Love.

I will send you a PM on how to join LU community on FB.

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