Hello, I am a new member. I am requesting a guide.

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Ilona
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Re: Hello, I am a new member. I am requesting a guide.

Postby Ilona » Fri Feb 20, 2015 10:02 pm

Ow, this was great to read. What an explosion. !
Let this settle for a bit and write some more! It's good to put ideas out of the head into the screen.
What else are you seeing?


Sending love
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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davidg
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Re: Hello, I am a new member. I am requesting a guide.

Postby davidg » Sat Feb 21, 2015 7:02 pm

Hello Ilona,

Its saturday morning. What is in this moment seen, felt, heard. No one here is seeing the thoughts as they arise and bubble up without an owner creator here or there or anyplace. It is just an impersonal happening. Life is happening. Thats all that is or ever could be or could happen. And this (happening is empty of thought and labeling and conceptualizing) because to go deeper into "it", into the thoughts as they bubble up into awareness ( what
ever that is...just another label and story) is to see that the thoughts themselves come without an owner and are in and of themselves absolutely nothing and made of absolutely nothing lololo. And to go deeper under that is to see this nothingness and to go underneath that is to see just this nothingness. Deeper and deeper we go.
This too is noticed....Its (not) saturday morning because "saturday" is a label. Just as "desk" "chair" "seeing" "ides" "hearing" "feeling sensations and emotions" etc are labels and of the same meaningless nature.

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davidg
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Re: Hello, I am a new member. I am requesting a guide.

Postby davidg » Sat Feb 21, 2015 8:17 pm

Hello Ilona,

More seeing....The ego identity david thought concept historical idea, is CONSTANTLY clamoring yelling screaming cajoling manipulative and abusive ! lolo
Its constant references to being unworthy, un-everything is amusing and cartoon-like. And what is being seen is how unreal it is. HOW COMPLETELY UNREAL OF ANY SUBSTANCE IT IS!!! HAHHA its like a nasty little neanderthal like creature that screams for attention by excelling at being mean and nasty lololo and even this, all of this, everything the "I" david me story is writing is all empty of anything, empty of ANY real substance. Its all just noises we agree to label as words. Its all just BS and as empty and as transparent as whiffs of incense smoke lololo...
This identity david egoistic and completely robotic "thing" is so loud and blaring and constantly wanting attention and be noticed its truly comical. The rate of redundancy basically devolves into very small little circles is how it can be described and its known for what it is, not real ! And this too seems to make the egoic voices clamor all the more insistent and louder.
"I want, I want I want I want, I am this, I'm not that, I I I I me me me me mine mine mine ad nauseum lololo.... And watching the neuroses...."this horrible thing might happen, that might happen, stay away from doing that, what if, what if this...." lololo, OMG its endless nonsense
And underneath all of this seeing is forever the "knowing" that this too is just empty noises we refer to as language and labeling what has no inherent nature of any kind.

Just the seeing of this constant egoistic wanting of attention and how it has so easily distorted the emptiness and no-thingness of reality, of simply seeing what is, what is true in all its raw immediacy of directly experiencing this moment and this moment and this moment. The bare simplicity of being.
And this clear seeing has never not been here. It has never been anything other then this. The world is this naked raw state, the universe is this naked and empty and raw state.
There is nothing. There is no thing. There is nothing but this empty nothingness of and as existence. There is no one. No people places or things. Its all a lie. The boundaries and artificial separations between people places and objects is a giant lie I have, a trick, an illusion perpetuated over the span of all human history. We have all participated in WITHOUT SEEING AND REALIZING THAT ITS A F.... LIE!!!
And we all have played into this illusion of labeling ad infinitum. OMG its comical and so sad. As this is being written is the seeing that there's no one here writing this and so there's no owner or credit to be taken and assumed for any of this. And that too seems comical. The neuroses coming from this egoic identity and gordian knot of a false identity aka known to others as david is a cartoon!
And yes...all words concepts and labels...all empty of anything and any substance.

Seeing beliefs come up. Seeing the thought: "Ilona is gonna think I'm crazy and this is repetitive boring bullshit " Seeing more and more stuff that is clamoring to be "owned' by a me that's not here and never was here. Seeing stuff/habitual patterns wanting to be believed but seen as empty of all abiding substance are are therefore just lies.
Seeing how the david ego identity illusion always wants to create problems and punish and create tension and anxiety and to be constantly the center of focused attention or else! Or else the punitive thoughts and voices chime in.
Ilona what is interesting and what is seen here are many moments of deep calm and giggling and laughing at all this crap that wants and demands so much attention and how it has distorted the seeing and perception and the feelings this distortion has generated.
There is no "I" and this david label isn't 57. That's a lie as well lololo! We can't age because we aren't even here! Therefore we don't die because we weren't born!
Also what is being seen and noticed is all of this, as best as can be described to you is at best only a description and just words/labels/concepts and it is almost like it keeps going further or deeper all by itself without a so-called "me" directing or controlling any of this or anything else.

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davidg
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Re: Hello, I am a new member. I am requesting a guide.

Postby davidg » Sat Feb 21, 2015 8:53 pm

Ilona,

More of whats being seen:
Seeing lots of "fear" come up. The illusion of a false ego identity, wanting wanting wanting. The illusion of anything being "wrong". The illusion of "security". The illusion of anything being other than what is seen right here and right now In this bare and raw and unadorned moment. The illusion of what is not. The ideas and illusions of someplace else being "better" and "safer" and more "trust worthy".
The illusion of "fear" ! What if, what if, what if .... Yes its all nonsense and untrue and yet it keeps coming up.

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Re: Hello, I am a new member. I am requesting a guide.

Postby davidg » Sat Feb 21, 2015 9:07 pm

More of whats seens:
The fear is resistance. Resistance to just this moment. The false habitual identity manufacturing fear which is in truth resistance to this moment and then manufactures stories about what needs to be protected and fear which equals the manufactured resistance.
But...there's no one here. The fears and the resistance that accompany these neurotic reactions are happening by themselves and they are being seen and they are coming up and into awareness one after the next after the next. Sometimes they are caught and seen immediately and then there is that blinking on and off and others aren't seen and caught for a short while.
This goes on continuously and endlessly by itself because there is no one here doing anything! And its perfect and perfectly ok to have the fears and resistance caught then not seen then seen along with the blinking on and off and on and off.
It is all seen as it is in this moment....

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Ilona
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Re: Hello, I am a new member. I am requesting a guide.

Postby Ilona » Sun Feb 22, 2015 12:46 pm

hi David,

thanks for all the writing! how are you feeling today?
has anything changed since we started this conversation?
how? what hasn't changed?

sending love
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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davidg
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Re: Hello, I am a new member. I am requesting a guide.

Postby davidg » Sun Feb 22, 2015 5:25 pm

Hello Ilona,

I read the article on marked eternal, a couple of times, "Deep Looking" - Are you at peace right now?

How am I feeling today? Not very well thank you lolo! I would say close to awful. The feelings of dread and fear and apprehension predominate the overall mood. I am doing as you suggest in the article, not resisting because to resist feels or seems impossible.
Then, so be it and welcoming and thank you.
All of this is happening simultaneously and very quickly.
Its not toward anything in particular, its the overall pervasive mood.
What was noticed on Friday and yesterday was a liteness, an overall internal experience of almost minimal thinking and processing when I had gone out to do errands and also what was noticed was the world around and traffic seemed to slow down. Verbal language and communication seemed or felt heavy and clumsy and unnecessary. What is also being seen is a disinterest in wanting to talk to most people or the desire to communicate with anyone.

Has anything changed since we started this conversation? Yes. It feels as though the habitual problem creation then along with the neurotic attempts to solve what ever bubbles up into awareness seems to have come into sharper focus. The seeing this yet without the automatic attempts to solve or fix or change anything. Also, I can't turn on the tv or radio. Whether in the house or the radio in the car.The programming literally IS programming. Drama filled boring manipulative BS. The commercials are intrusive and abrasive. Overall, there is or what feels like a craving for quietness. For stillness.
Sitting here at the desk and allowing all of this to be typed feels necessary and also calming as it is being done.
What is also noticed and also why the tv, radio media thing feels impossible, is the seeing that there truly is no one there! Nothing is. Nothing is anything. Existence is empty. I tried to watch a cd last night, a documentary about native american art in the south west and what "I" was seeing was useless empty drama and endless stories and the emptiness of everything. As this information was being seen, there was also the seeing of what was coming up in this body brain mind, the reactions to this information being presented. I could see how I also unconsciously and robotically create(?), produce(?) All the very same useless bullshit and drama and problems. I could also see how there are so many layers to dig down thru, to always go further and deeper thru the stories and crap that seem to scream for life, that scream and almost beg for attention and for an owner(?) and what is seen is there just isn't one. But this feeling of dread and dark heaviness remains and does fluctuate and come and go. As always being mentioned, the blinking on and off, the remembering and forgetting.
The article mentioned above from MarkedEternal and remembering to not resist, to say yes, to welcome what comes up into awareness and to also say thank you is being done.

What hasn't changed? The only answer there is ..... Nothing has changed because there is nothing too change. nothing can change or ever change and there never has been anything.There is no i, me, david, history, owner, controller, label making machine. And to take that deeper, there is nothing here, or there and any where, (being anyplace and everyplace), and there has never been anyone or any person. All just image making, label creating, story inventing, drama filled, problem creation in an empty universe. And yes all of this is also just thinking, conceptualizing and story telling and projection out onto nothing, not even a computer screen.
To take it a step further and deeper, has anything changed? No. There is no one here so how can there ever be anything that can change. This would be more delusion. Nothing can change because there is nothing and no one too change, that can change. It is all simply the thought filled, creation, creating dance of a millennium of "so-called" human conditioning and programming being passed down countless times from child to child to child in school, from "so-called" family, so-called society, friends etc. All is illusion. All is a dream scape (it feels like and looks like), and all is just the dance and creation of nothing by no one that has ever lived, now or ever.
What is seen is this incredible vast deep and endless nothingness that is existence.

This isn't fear producing (more stories) or scary in any way (more stories), but oddly freeing, (more stories) and its all ok. No resistance to it. It is very much welcomed and a kind of gratitude, (and....yes more stories, labels, concepts!) And its ok.

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davidg
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Re: Hello, I am a new member. I am requesting a guide.

Postby davidg » Sun Feb 22, 2015 6:13 pm

Hello Ilona,
This is what is being seen and has been the case for several days, keeps coming up over and over again.....There is a push to do anything. To "want" to do anything except be alone out in nature or at the beach or hiking. Nothing matters because there is nothing so who gives a sh...! Theres no one too give a sh..! So why even bother(?)
Yes these are more stories. And these stories have a very different "feel" to them. A different kind of "all pervasive" feeling that seems to cover and blanket everything. And I mean everything. As if, because there is nothing, then there is no value for or in anything. This includes "so-called" human feelings and "so-called" human attachments to others and everything and anything.
I am seeing a kind of 'going thru the motions" with life and living and interactions not just with clients but with everyone and anyone.
This is being seen and observed constantly. "I" can pretend to "forget" what the underlying truth is and play the human game(s) but what is seen being deeply and universally is there is nothing and no one too care about and this is almost to the degree or depth that there is play acting and pretending to care and to give a sh.. about anything and anyone. This is especially true of clients. I am in a healing profession and I have made it an aspect of my "so-called" mission statement to always be available 24/7/365 and now.... its the thought, feeling and constant mood of, who cares! Oh yea! No one ! lol ha.
Observably is the truth that this thought, feeling and mood is always here and is rarely forgotten. Unlike all the rest. There is an overall feeling of being removed and very detached from "society", people in general and from human caring.
Going deeper....Not resisting this, saying yes so be it, welcoming it all and saying thank you to it all. Being ok with it. It continues this way. The media in its many guises and all its manipulative BS is also seen in very sharp HD lolol.

Just seeing what is and what is coming up. Feeling what is being felt. Not resisting. Not looking away. And underneath and going deeper and further....Theres nothing and no one. Nothing and no one.
We live in an empty universe on a small turquoise planet with biodiversity but its nothing. It all just is.

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davidg
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Re: Hello, I am a new member. I am requesting a guide.

Postby davidg » Sun Feb 22, 2015 8:17 pm

Ilona,

I have been using this....http://markedeternal.blogspot.co.uk/201 ... oking.html

Consistently now for a couple of days. Almost constantly. No matter what is happening these tools are being used.

Driving, hiking, in the shower, making food, walking the dogs, taking out the trash, or what ever else is happening this is happening..... And its happening without a doer, thinker, owner, controller, operator, creator, etc. Its all just empty stories and its all happening as it does, without a me in charge of anything or running the show because there is no me.

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Re: Hello, I am a new member. I am requesting a guide.

Postby davidg » Sun Feb 22, 2015 8:31 pm

Ilona,
I am sitting here at my desk and using the work from the above link and what is being seen suddenly and with clarity is that a great deal of what was written this morning to you is the minds habitual attempts and response to try and protect the heart from more hurt, injury and damage. This is suddenly being seen clearly.
As this was again being utilized suddenly it was clearly obvious what has been happening for so long. A very long time. For years. Then a moment ago it was seen.
Layers and layers. Many more. Deeper and deeper.....Yet no one doing anything. No one here owning this.

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Ilona
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Re: Hello, I am a new member. I am requesting a guide.

Postby Ilona » Sun Feb 22, 2015 9:11 pm

I can see your process is in full heat. Good stuff. I'm not going to respond to all you wrote, it's not needed. But I sure read it all. Keep writing if that what wants to happen.

I can offer you a deep looking session, that may clear things further. Are you on Facebook? If so, message me up and we can agree on time.

Sending love.
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Re: Hello, I am a new member. I am requesting a guide.

Postby davidg » Sun Feb 22, 2015 11:45 pm

After my last post to you, I went out for my daily run/play and another pop-like, insight(?) thing happened. What was realized was from the work being done with you as well as the article mentioned, http://markedeternal.blogspot.co.uk/201 ... oking.html, that what I said earlier, much of it was dream state nonsense and more stories that has been only slightly more subtle and it took a little extra "time" (another story), to catch it. Even tho I KNOW I am NOT doing it, that when it happened or popped and became obvious I knew I had to immediately tell you when I got home. What I am referring to very succinctly and directly is the part of the deep-looking work regarding the mind protecting the heart from any more "damage, pain, hurt". What was seen clearly and directly is that this has been what I have inadvertently been doing and it was only after using the word as you present it in this article that it was seen clearly and caught a little while ago ! What I had written to you early this morning was full of this mind produced shielding and protective dancing. What then was seen is these are just more dream state stories ! LOLOL
NOTHING HAS EVER BEEN HURT!!! The heart isn't hurt! There aren't any wounds or damage Or anything remotely labeled as pain !!! LOLOLOL HA !
ITS ALL JUST MADE UP, INVENTED NONSENSE CREATED BY THE (MORE INVENTED) - "FEAR BASED AND TIME BOUND" EGO IDENTITY/DAVID/ PERSONA/doer/owner, fearfull/fear based/timebound/ego bound FICTION THAT IS IN TRUTH NOTHING. NO THING. NONE OF IT HAS OR CAN BE REAL.
Was never born and will not die !!!! BECAUSE ITS NEVER BEEN ANYTHING REAL. All the drama, all the dancing and BS and lies manufactured and believed - either from being fed to me or that I had invented, ITS ALL DREAM STATE NONSENSE !! OMG how this conditioned mind has loved playing the victim! LOLO Its truly comical to see this all so clearly by no one (more little stories for sure).
There isn't any pain, hurt, damage! Its all just bullshit lies and stories that have been perpetuated from ignorance of the truth ! And fear is a giant illusion and lie as well ! There's no fear. There is nothing to fear! And if that somatic or physical sensation should suddenly be present energetically in this body, then so what! Its happening to no one and therefore it is and will be just fine. No problem and no confusion about it or anything else ! HA !!!
There are no problems! There is a human animal body made up of 100 trillion plus cells and that's all. The body was created at conception and at some point it will go back to the earth in what we all commonly refer to as death but so what? Its not a problem and there's nothing to fear or to be confused about!
What we are doing here is unlearning and jettisoning all of our neurotically learned crap beginning at the age of about 3 years. All the unconsciousness, all the programmed beliefs that have created (inadvertently) a stunted way of living that now looks very very insane and crippled. We are, and this organism known as a david, is simply relearning the innately direct seeing of our, of "my" naturalness and true or truthful nature and that is all.
It is that which can not be more obvious or simple. And once it begins to become clear and clearer as it comes into focus, "you, me or anyone else then can not NOT see it ! HA ! LOL
So many entertaining stories "I" "we'' tell ourselves that do nothing but keep us stunted, crippled and insane and unconsciously dreaming in the dream state.
To live differently as "I" will profess, looks insane.

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Ilona
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Re: Hello, I am a new member. I am requesting a guide.

Postby Ilona » Mon Feb 23, 2015 8:53 am

Yes, this is about unlearning all bs that was learned. :)
What remains?
What exists? What is real?
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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davidg
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Re: Hello, I am a new member. I am requesting a guide.

Postby davidg » Mon Feb 23, 2015 5:13 pm

I can see your process is in full heat. Good stuff. I'm not going to respond to all you wrote, it's not needed. But I sure read it all. Keep writing if that what wants to happen.

I can offer you a deep looking session, that may clear things further. Are you on Facebook? If so, message me up and we can agree on time.

Sending love.
Hi Ilona,

Yes I will keep writing. Much bubbles up constantly.

yes I'm on fb. david greenman / science of true healing

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davidg
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Re: Hello, I am a new member. I am requesting a guide.

Postby davidg » Mon Feb 23, 2015 6:03 pm

Yes, this is about unlearning all bs that was learned. :)
What remains?
What exists? What is real?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What remains? Direct raw natural unfolding of not only life and experience from moment to moment but also the allowing of thoughts and feeling and responses in a most natural way without contracting hiding dancing around an issue because of a painful historical residue created from a fictitious belief / story that the mind created a contraction and wall around. An example of this is the creation of a story and its colorful details and concepts then the mind turns it into a belief then the mind makes it "real" and builds walls to protect this BS.

What is real? Just this ! Just this very moment. This breath. The eyes watching words being typed onto this screen. The feelings in the finger tips. The weight of the body sitting in the chair. Gravity. Coolness on the floor. The ambient sounds from outside the window. Thoughts - thinking - all impersonal and habitual - all ego bound nonsense lolo - circular - all about the fictional story of a me me me I I I mine mine mine fear fear fear want need must have LOLOLO HAHAH !!! All nonsense. All impersonal and happening of its own accord. All just what is and likes and dislikes and drama is all just happening without a doer owner thinker david who?? LOLOLOL


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