Pema and Walbart

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PemaLemos
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Re: Pema and Walbart

Postby PemaLemos » Mon Jan 16, 2012 10:25 pm

Yes and by accepting the "getting stuck parts" it´s becoming ever easier to speak, live, act and love fully from that.

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Walbart
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Re: Pema and Walbart

Postby Walbart » Tue Jan 17, 2012 12:14 am

The "getting stuck parts" are the best parts. The flavour and fruit on top of the vanilla ice cream. We need the doubts and the struggle to use as steps to the next part. And the next part, and the next part.
When the doubts come jump on them and leap over.

All this is about is unsticking the awareness of the body from the syrup of the mind.

(I must be hungry, all these food analogies)

Keep it coming Pema, enjoy the silence, and then when each wave of thought comes in let it wash over. For me it really helped to stop struggling and seeking and entertaining all the stories going on. Don't identify with any of your characteristics, just love them and enjoy them. When you think of the opposite of what is right now, which is complete and empty darkness, lack of; isn't anything you experience a complete joy?

There's no you, no small you, no big you, no eternal you, no finite you and no infinite you. Behind your thoughts is a massive drop, a freefall into nothing with no landing.

How do you feel when you look and see there's nobody here?

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PemaLemos
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Re: Pema and Walbart

Postby PemaLemos » Tue Jan 17, 2012 5:07 pm

ahaha delicious! Thats a brilliant exercize you describe there - could you clarify this sentence "unsticking the awareness from the syrup of the mind"?

Two years ago, I had a vivid glimpse that life, the world, wasnt real, it simply did not exist, there was only Self - I didn´t even know what words to use - but from that moment I knew there was no such thing as life. And still, I got back to it and now I´m running out of fuel, I´m running out of concepts again. It´s like a consolidation coming to the essentials and it´s kind of a sad state of affairs. Either the thought is ending, the life is ending, the universe is ending, something is ending - do you have a one year plan?

In the midst of ending I realize I could get to know my personality type a lot better, most people complain about it and I do feel at ease to access different preferences from here - it might help with the "out of the blue" depressions :)

I wouldn´t say I feel joy - not as ethereal - more of a grounding force, solidity.

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Walbart
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Re: Pema and Walbart

Postby Walbart » Wed Jan 18, 2012 10:24 am

unsticking the awareness from the syrup of the mind
It just means not getting lost in thoughts all the time, not boarding the train of thought. It's hard, but if you've had any experience meditating it should be straight-forward. Just don't believe the thoughts, don't believe the content, don't believe what they say. They are just reflections of your experience flying around, uncontrolled and most likely false.

Again, back to the hurricane, it's just thoughts spinning around an empty centre. Outside of the thought content there's nobody home :)
I had a vivid glimpse that life, the world, wasnt real, it simply did not exist, there was only Self
Life is real, all of this is real. You are not. There is only life and existence, and no self, large or small. You feel connected because you aren't separate, all your "self" objects are a part of life, and thoughts are the little miracles that create the story of "me", for better or for worse.

Ha, there is no one year plan, it's moment by moment all the way! Being awake and living life fully aware. Not getting lost in the stories and the fantasies, facing the inevitable and not running into make-believe consolations. This can really help with depression, although hard when in the thick of it, it's also the only time to deal with it. See how transparent it is, but also see the dark, clear view it offers.

A solid grounding force is good, that's what this is. It's what reality feels like. Conviction. But also unknowing.

What do you feel when you say "me" or "I"? Where do these thoughts point?

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PemaLemos
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Re: Pema and Walbart

Postby PemaLemos » Thu Jan 19, 2012 1:42 am

Hello

I used "there is only Self" - Self as Being-ness or like some call it "ultimate reality", or simply life. Just to get that one straight up there. I guess you sensed the meaning when I wrote "Self", I mean, what kid of glimpse would it be to, on the opposite hand, to be full of oneself personalized and egotistical agenda?

It seems to always roll in a twisted way, every time I try to speak or write - and then I play the ignorant child story for a little longer. When I point to "I", there is a force of spaciousness and solidity playing opposite/together at the same time. I can´t describe it, it´s very physical, a sense of force, and instantaneous shifts of point of view (from the bird in the sky to the tree back to me). It´s a growing solidity that takes over and apparently feels much wider than the physical body, everytime "I" or "me" is pointed to - my body "here" responds by contracting and expanding a little. I feel of a different kind, from "my" identification to no identification I subside there. Closing my eyes there is nothing "I" is not, there is so much freedom to experience, experience itself drops - I open my eyes and "I" plays and gets distracted.

I don´t really feel like I can even begin to write about such matters, it´s becoming very difficult (out of the flow) to express what my heart sings to. Thanks for your patience. It´s been short but definitely very helpful to share these posts with you.

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Walbart
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Re: Pema and Walbart

Postby Walbart » Thu Jan 19, 2012 4:03 pm

Hi Pema,

Thanks for your patience too, it's been really nice speaking with you.

I'm going to see if anyone else wants to come in and finish this discussion with you as I feel a bit out of my depth. I don't really know anything, and your experience is so personal that I don't think it's fair for me to comment on anything and pretend that I can offer advice or wisdom.

Take care and I hope we speak again.

WB.

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vinceschubert
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Re: Pema and Walbart

Postby vinceschubert » Thu Jan 19, 2012 10:38 pm

Hello Pema, vince here.
i have read your posts (several times) and each time come away a little confused.
Would you give me a summary of what has changed for you since starting this process, finishing up with a clear statement of where you are now.

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PemaLemos
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Re: Pema and Walbart

Postby PemaLemos » Fri Jan 20, 2012 6:20 pm

Hello Vince, thank you

I began this by excusing my english (not so much the grammar, but the putting up together ideas/thoughts), it´s quite challenging for me.
Honestly, nothing changed. It definitely became easier to recognize IT or consciously relax/acknowledge "in the thick" of negative emotions and the intensity that life is. I was looking for a way to get out of my mind and experientially live every moment from the "spiritual heart", really making it too complicated. When I look at it, I´ve done a lot of things that supported my knowing and that´s love. I am convinced that writing and speaking "spiritual truth" is not for me, my heart sings to other to painting and working the body-temple with Asanas :) so I dropped the "maybe I´ll write a book or lecture about the experiences and inspire other people to recognize the beauty in all of this :) It´s really nice to finally drop that and get busy with being Pema-ness. Thank you so much and take care.

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vinceschubert
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Re: Pema and Walbart

Postby vinceschubert » Sat Jan 21, 2012 3:44 am

Pema, even the English have trouble expressing 'this stuff' as it hovers where words don't work.
You say "nothing has changed" then you go on to outline some changes, "it definitely became easier..."
...to finally drop that and get busy with being Pema-ness.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news here, but 'that' is (or was) Pema-ness.
Just as Pema-ness is an expression of IS.
The problem here is the beginning of a new story to identify with.
Can you see that ?

Nothing wrong with the direction you take or the activities that resonate with you, just don't turn them into something to identify with.
Sometimes it is hard to see ourselves and it is helpful to have others to point out traps that might be lurking.
i would like to see you join out facebook group called Unleashed where other people in your 'situation' willingly, lovingly offer care and illumination of this 'path'
You will find few around you that can even begin to understand what has happened to you.
i have no doubt that you no longer identify with an I or a Me.
Can you confirm this ? Is this true ?

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PemaLemos
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Re: Pema and Walbart

Postby PemaLemos » Mon Jan 23, 2012 12:39 am

Hi Vince
Yes, it exists as a fiction. I found the group online and asked to join, Ill see you there and thanks again.


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