Strangely, I seem to be back where I was many days ago but it seems a bit clearer now....
I will come back to this, but safe to say, nothing as yet..So what is hat you are in control of? What is not effortless? What is not on automatic? Give me examples.
No, I have been seeing this incorrectly. There is no witness. There is only sensation, feeling etc experienced in awareness. I have been noticing this mostly with sensation. The awareness seems to move around the body. It is not witnessed by the head, that is a delusion, In fact when I try to experience it with the head, it seems to create tension. I see this too with feeling, and a little with thoughts. Thoughts are the same but seem more evasive to 'see through'.Tell me, is there a gap between witness and witnessed? Between awareness and the object of awareness? Is there a witness doing seeing?
Of course I said, awareness moves round the body but there is no body, just a label of body. So actually there is just awareness of the objects of awareness arising in space. Those objects of awareness are connected by thought with labels, but in direct experience there is no obvious connection.
So it seems to me I am like little points of light lighting up in a dark empty sky.
The seen seems more problematic because it gives the illusion of space. But actually, that space in my head that I have talked about before, which I thought was awareness in a kind of fixed-self type of way, that just seems to be awareness of the seen. It feels again like my head is full of the world. There is no-one witnessing this - it's just the visual equivalent of sensations, maybe you could say 'images' held in awareness.Is there a gap between you and the seen?
And again, there is no head, that is just a label. The image is now where my head used to be.
Since I saw this I have had no strong reaction. However, I can see that a reaction is a cocktail of various objects of awareness which arise together, seemingly affect each other and are labeled in totality as a reaction.And when reaction comes up, what is behind? Is there a reactor? A witness of reaction? What is behind?
When I feel that sense of self, I remember and can now experience all the individual 'awareness-es'.
It seems easy to rest in the non-conceptual. Like time has gone. Worry has gone. Everything has gone.
Thanks again, interested to hear your thoughts....