Hi Mark.
Thank you for your time, patience and questions. They are really helpful.
A. ... spend more time with the 'choosing' experiment, avoiding the theory of it
I try to practice throughout the day and more and more it is like discovering that conscience comes to the choice a little late, after it has been already taken. There is this "delay" that's very strange. Very similar to the feeling you get after drinking some wine and turning the head: there is a little delay, like eyes are positioning later than the rest of the face... I try to express it better: it is like I "know" what I will choose, and then I begin to choose. Strange indeed, like the self is a spectator who comes too late when the show is already begun.
I cannot spot differences between the conceptual experience and the "here" experience because there is only the latter. I also can feel the same now while writing you: the conscience is late compared to the fingers.
B. "To understand reality"
No, it is just a bad choice of words.
Experience reality is ok.
Understand a concept of reality is also ok, even if useless to experience reality.
Understand reality isn't.
THIS is always here. It is damned easy to forget it alas. Self's tricks are like fireworks: even is you don't want to watch them it is impossible to continue reading your book...
It is obvious that the baby is not even intellectually conscious of what is happening. He is just experiencing, probably involved in a 100% touch experience.
C. You wrote: I "know" there is not a real choice because the thought about what to choose comes on its own accord.
No answers here. I can only respond mentally.
I don't feel any fear about not having a choice. I welcome the possibility there is no choice. A resistance, if present, is very difficult to spot.
D. .. You can use two enquiry exercises if you like without straining at all
It is very easy to feel THIS moment with no labels attached while scrubbing fingers. There is no meaning to do it and no need to classify the experience. It is more difficult when trying with other senses (such as listening) because there is an heavy labeling going on. Any noise is "a dog", "the neighbor", "what was this?", "need to repair the sink", etc... Scrubbing finger is so useless that the simple action is not labelled.
Even labelling thoughts is becoming easier. Moments spent doing it are becoming more and more frequent.
I go on on this line for a couple of days more.
Adding to the daily chaos (sick daughter, leaving the job) there are 8 relatives living with us for a week :-)
Being outside all day I will not post tomorrow.
Happy Easter
Alex