I like to read what you say about connecting directly with facts (what IS). When you come away from the mind stream, you can really feel the buzz and tingle of the moment.
Is it natural to be contemplative all the time or are these also just arisings, and no one to really observe them ?
Can anything that happens ever be ‘unnatural’? Who or what would label what is happening as unnatural or natural? If contemplating is what is happening right now, great, that is what is happening. If it stops, then great too. Who is there to contemplate anyway, or more importantly to get attached to it continuing or ending?
There is now a feeling that all things will arise and it doesnt make sense to think that something will stop (like you said in the beginning its like never having bad weather...which doesnt make sense).....also importantly is there anyone for whom things will (or wont) change ...or is there just direct experience (or arisings) or sensation, thoughts, sights, sounds, and nothing else (and no one else :) ).
I love that you are seeing that it is our thinking that labels things and events as ‘not good enough’, ‘needing a change’ etc. Despite our thinking, life will continue life-ing in every way it cares to. It unfolds as it unfolds, differently in each (apparent) case. Sometimes it’s a walk in the park, sometimes it’s a bumpy ride. Seeing is just a beginning, much conditioned thinking will be questioned, and will fall away like a row of dominoes.
Here at LU we do like to ask a bunch of confirmatory questions, just to make sure there is no stone left unturned, that no area needs ‘mopping up’, as it were. Once you have answered these and both you and I are happy, then I will invite other guides to have a look to see if any area needs looking at.
So here are these questions:
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, how it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
5) Please talk about deciding, intending, choosing and control, describing the process as best you can. How do these things happen? Do you make them happen? Give examples from experience.
6) Anything to add?
Again, take your time, no rush. Stay with the questions and let them permeate through. Make sure you answer from actual experience rather than what you think
may be the right thing to say. Be as detailed and precise as you can. And make sure you give actual examples from your daily life for Question 5.
I look forward to your answers.