Thread for Hecate

[Hecate]

I don't know where the thought comes from or goes to. It is there and then it isn't there. I can't even tell whether it is inside or outside "my head" - it arises and disappears, can't spot its beginning nor its end.

There isn't anything called "illusion" in DE, there are thoughts and ideas that give rise to certain other thoughts and those can be noticed in DE but the "illusion" cannot be found.

To be honest, I do get into a real muddle trying to find something that just isn't there. There isn't an I in the form, I can't find it no matter how much I look, all there is, is this experience. I don't really know how to put it differently, sorry.

[smudge]

I don't know where the thought comes from or goes to. It is there and then it isn't there. I can't even tell whether it is inside or outside "my head" - it arises and disappears, can't spot its beginning nor its end.

yep, because 'it' comes from nowhere!

You said:

The 'my' was pointing towards this form that for convenience sake is referred to as 'mine'.

and now you say

There isn't an I in the form, I can't find it no matter how much I look

Is "I" still identifying as form or as anything?

Great so seeing is clearer now, nice.

There isn't anything called "illusion" in DE, there are thoughts and ideas

Yep illusion is nothing more than thoughts and ideas

Whats is left to be crystal clear?

[Hecate]

What is left is a form with a lot of sensations that constantly come and go and pulse and vibrate and change. And that seems to do all of that without being directed. There are thoughts that come and go and emotions that come and go, arising out of nowhere and dissolving. And there is that one particular thought that refers to all of that as "my" or "i" but that thougth comes and goes as well.

[smudge]

Brilliantly clear!

So now please answer these standard questions:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you seeit now.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything
happen? Give examples from your experience.
6) Anything to add?

Much love, I am delighted for you!
x

[Hecate]

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No there isn't a separate self, me nor I. There isn't anything shaped like an I and there was never. There was only that thought or idea that there is an I, which latched onto a form but which is just as fluid and insubstantial as any other thought or idea.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you seeit now.

The illusion of separate self arises in dependence of thoughts, ideas, emotions and sensations that solidify and accumulate to a fantasy of an I. That seems to re-occur and then is seen through as just thoughts, emotions, sensations etc.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

There is a sense of relief. Since the experience on the retreat, things started to fall away but I can see now that there was still an identifying with form. The main difference since before the dialogue is a deeper sense of "no I-ness", a deeper sense of being in DE and the opening into life that comes with that and also more clarity. It just really helped to go through things systematically.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

It was when you wrote a couple of days ago:

We are going round and round with the I identifying as form again, which it will if questions are not answered from DE.

And

Is "I" still identifying as form or as anything?

Somehow, I found it really hard to write:- No, I can't find anything. Maybe I wasn't quite convinced that I wasn't overlooking anything as it felt a bit too obvious in DE that there wasn't anything. So I just kept on looking in the form, in the movements of the body and saw the identifying with form was just a thought that sometimes was there and sometimes wasn't. And therefor not different from any other thought or idea.

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything
happen? Give examples from your experience.

No, I don't decide, control or choose events in life. I don't make anything happen. There is a responding to life and to conditions. I like the image of a conversation with life, as there is no-one controlling the conversation.
Eg. Getting up in the morning-there is a waking up, which isn't controlled, movements of muscles that move without something telling them to, making a cup of tea - more muscles doing their thing, probably some habit there as that is what I always do when I got up and go downstairs, thoughts that arise and the sensations of the hot tea contacting "my body"
Tension arises between my shoulder blades and somehow there is movement trying to release it.
In a bigger area of life - relationships - there isn't a "me" deciding to be in one, but again a set of circumstances that arise and form this thing that is called "a relationship".

6) Anything to add?

Just really want to thank you for your dedicated and kind guiding!

love Hecate x

[smudge]

Beautiful answers Hecate. A pleasure to guide you. You will soon receive invites to aftercare Facebook groups.

I wish you well
Much love
Smudge. Xx


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