I´d like to see clear picture

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Ilona
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Re: I´d like to see clear picture

Postby Ilona » Tue Nov 19, 2013 12:09 pm

yes, sounds that you are holding on ideas of enlightenment. thing is- there is no-one to get enlightened. so rather then trying, relax and notice what is already obvious.
In everyday I still have a sense of I separated from others. Is this wrong?
find the sense of separatedness. what is separated from what exactly? test with each sense- what is separate in seeing? in hearing? in tasting, smelling, touch? is separation more then a thought?

saying that you are trying to swim with the river of life is like saying that a drop of water in the ocean is not water, but rather an entity that travels with with water. there is nothing but river of life, movement of totality, no separate parts are independent and existing outside the flow. have a look, is life happening to a tree, to this organism, or as a tree, as this organism? is it something that life is happening TO?

and no, this is not about some state, raise of energy or enhanced awareness. all states come an go, there is no final state. this is about recognition what is real, what is happening versus what is imagined.

separate self is imagined. imagined i can not get enlightened.

write what comes up.
sending love.
Truth realized will set you free.
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Re: I´d like to see clear picture

Postby Avatar » Wed Nov 20, 2013 3:10 pm

Hi Ilona,
when I think on separatedness immediately a strong pain in the stomach appears. Looks like it it connected with old unresolved issues from past life. In this life I always felt I´m separate from others, I don´t belong to anyone and could not establish any feeling of belonging to this group, friends,...

There always was a lot of resistance in my life. Recently I try to resist less. I still do not have a feeling of life living me all the time. Yesterday I was dancing and suddenly there was a moment when I felt like dance is dancing itself and I was not the dooer. Is that what you are talking?

Oh know I see that I imagine my future and compare it with what happens in reality, than I get angry,disappointed,frustrated because it does not go according to my imagination. I must release this stupid behaviour!

Thanks Ilona!

Best regards,
Gregor

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Re: I´d like to see clear picture

Postby Ilona » Wed Nov 20, 2013 7:50 pm

Does unresolved issues mean separation? Does tension in the stomach area means that there is a separate self there?
If you hurt hand and someone presses on it, does that pain proves separatedness? It's a normal reaction to pull away from pain.

Resistance happens because of expectations, wants and beliefs on how this should be. Resisting what is happening creates tension, yes. Does that prove a doer of resistance? Or it happens naturally when situations appear unwanted? If you are the doer of resistance, how do you switch the resisting in and off?

Have a look again, is there a sensation of separatedness? And what is separate from what? Without story and memory, right now, can separatedness be found? And I mean right now. Not in the story of past and future.

Sending love.
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Re: I´d like to see clear picture

Postby Avatar » Thu Nov 21, 2013 9:09 am

Good Morning,
a part of me is trapped in the pain of separation.

Ilusion that I´m a doer and director who tells the direction in life and doesn´t want unplanned things to happen, this makes resistance to what happens in life, to flow of life. Resistance creates tension in the body and pain. Recently I feel more at peace with myself and when I feel like that I feel more confidence in life and less resistance. There is a misconception that if I do not control my life than something bad might happen. Behind that there is a fear that I will not be capable to handle with all the issues that life might bring to me.

Right know there is no separation. It only triggers in connection with the group when the group tries to expel me. Just know a co-worker said something that I don´t have to be on a group dinner at the end of the year and immediately a strong hate and opposition came up.

Kind regards,
Gregor

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Re: I´d like to see clear picture

Postby Ilona » Thu Nov 21, 2013 10:58 am

Yes, yes yes! Right now there is no separation. This is the key.
Is there ever not right now?
Thoughts about future are painting an image of what ifs. But is there future?
Fear comes up, when thoughts about future say what can happen. Take a look, in this moment right now, is there fear? Have a look in thoughts about past, is there fear? Story about future is just that- a story. There is a story of fear.

Through the day make some time to look in the now, is there fear? Is there anything incomplete? Is there anything now that should be different then what is. Is there anything that needs to be protected right now?

Does the image of future need to be protected?
Notice, there is wanting to control. There is wanting of security, there is wanting of acceptance. Which wants shop up most in the thought stream?


Sending love.
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Re: I´d like to see clear picture

Postby Avatar » Fri Nov 22, 2013 2:35 pm

Hi Ilona,
I see that there is no future. Future is only idea in my head, idea what I should do, where to go,... Past is like a dream. There is only this moment, all pervading know. There is no fear in this moment. Only bliss. That is incredible! All my life I´ve been traped in the story of fear. It is such a release to know that there is no fear in this moment! Everything is OK as it is. No need for protection. Ilusions need protection, truth doesn´t.

I want to be secure and this implies in the need to control the future. I want to be secure because I see myself as a vulnerable, weak creature that is full of fear.

Have a nice week-end,
Gregor

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Re: I´d like to see clear picture

Postby Ilona » Fri Nov 22, 2013 6:33 pm

Hi Gregor, yes, in the now all is OK, always. All is already accepted. Great to notice that!
I want to be secure and this implies in the need to control the future. I want to be secure because I see myself as a vulnerable, weak creature that is full of fear.
Take a look at this mind created image. It's an image, it's not reality. Reality is what is actually happening now. The image of a creature, is that any different from a dream?

There is a story about me- the weak creature. Is there this weak creature in reality? Can you find it now?

What is the worst that can happen to an image?
Does an image of weak creature need to be protected? Is this protection helpful? Is it ok to relax and stop protecting this image?

Sending love.
Truth realized will set you free.
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Re: I´d like to see clear picture

Postby Avatar » Sat Nov 23, 2013 3:02 pm

Hi Ilona,
you are right. I made the whole story around beeing weak, fearfull crature. It is time to let this story go. In reality I can´t find this weak crature. It is only image in my mind. And the best is that it can be deleted. Looks like this image is a part of ego and ego is afraid that it will die if I break this image. When I protect this image I give it energy and keep it alive. Now I know it is OK to delete it.

Best regards,
Gregor

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Re: I´d like to see clear picture

Postby Ilona » Sat Nov 23, 2013 9:16 pm

Excellent!

Now look, is there ego that calls the shots? Or it's again an story about one. Can ego be found?

Can something that does not exist die? (Can batman die?)
Can something that does not exist be afraid?

If word ego is replaced with word character, do you still need to get rid of, fight it, does it have power? Is it something that manages what is happening?

Is there a centre to which experience is happening?
Is life happening to this organism or as this organism?

Have a good look and write when ready.

Sending love.
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com

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Re: I´d like to see clear picture

Postby Avatar » Mon Nov 25, 2013 11:39 am

Hi Ilona,
ego can be found as a pain in the stomach, as weird energy beeing living inside me. It dictates my decisions, behaviour, response to other people. It is my energy. It once was split and labeled. Since than it tries to behave like the label. I must unlabel it, purifie it and hugh it. Than it can be merged with the main energy called Being.

This ego thinks that it is a centre to which experience is happening, that it manages life, it is self called captain. To ego life is happening and is always alert because it is suspicious and has no trust in life.

Kind regards,
Gregor

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Re: I´d like to see clear picture

Postby Ilona » Mon Nov 25, 2013 6:45 pm

Hi Gregor
ego can be found as a pain in the stomach, as weird energy beeing living inside me. It dictates my decisions, behaviour, response to other people. It is my energy. It once was split and labeled. Since than it tries to behave like the label. I must unlabel it, purifie it and hugh it. Than it can be merged with the main energy called Being.
Nice story. But, there is no entity called Being and no entity called ego. It's all just energy flowing through labelled this or that.

There is no such subject as Being. Being is a verb, it's just is-ing, this sense of aliveness, knowing perceiving, being.. Life life-ing, not personal, not a thing.

There is no ego, but a story about one.
The contraction in the stomach is the body's reaction to thoughts, it's tension, not a separated energy in charge. Take a look, what is this energy without a name?

It's not ego that thinks. Thoughts arise that say so, but thoughts can say many things. Ask this question- is it true? Is it true that ego is in charge of life? Or life is manifesting as these thoughts about the captain.

When you look closer, is there anything that word ego points to right now?

Sending love
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http://ilonaciunaite.com

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Re: I´d like to see clear picture

Postby Avatar » Tue Nov 26, 2013 11:55 am

Hi Ilona,
what you say is true for the unmanifested world. There is just energy.

"There is no such subject as Being. Being is a verb, it's just is-ing, this sense of aliveness, knowing perceiving, being.. Life life-ing, not personal, not a thing. "
Inteeresting perspective. If I look from perspective of ego than I´m insulted:"Look what they did to me!" If I look from non personal perspective than there is nobody that could be insulted. Everything is OK as it is. It is not good and not bad. Life just is!

This energy in the stomach is confusion.

Seems that there are ego and soul fighting who is in charge of my life. Thatś why I´m such a mess.

Ego points to 3rd chackra.

Kind regards,
Gregor

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Re: I´d like to see clear picture

Postby Ilona » Tue Nov 26, 2013 12:09 pm

well, there is no ego. ego is a concept and it's empty. there is nothing that is ego that lives in 3rd chakra or any other chakra.
if word ego is replaced with word character, meaning likes and dislikes, patterns of behavior and habits, where do they reside? is there ego in a cat or a dog? these animals have unique distinct characters too, just like human animals. is character something that can be get rid of? is character fighting with something that is called soul? have a good look, what is here and what is imagined.
can one thought fight another thought?
can a thought die?

sending love.
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com

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Re: I´d like to see clear picture

Postby Avatar » Wed Nov 27, 2013 8:55 am

Hi Ilona,
I noticed a need for resistance, a sudden urge to fight for the right to prove you I know better than you.
Patterns of behavior and habits reside in 3rd chakra.
I don´t have animals and do not know if they have ego.
We can´t get rid of character. Character is not fighting with the soul because character is not the same as ego!
Yes one thought can fight another thought. For example: I wan´t to go to India versus I wan´t to go to Brazil. This fight results in inner tension which stops once I decide for India.
We live in duality therefore we always have + and - or with other words bright side and dark side. In between there is our playground. Only masters live outside duality or they live in this world but are not of this world. They have the energy of oneness.

Kind regards,
Gregor

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Re: I´d like to see clear picture

Postby Ilona » Wed Nov 27, 2013 9:25 am

Now take a look. Don't answer from knowing.
Try again.
And really look if one thought can fight another thought.
Do thoughts come up in bundles or one thought at a time? Does previous thought know of present thought? Can you experience 2 thoughts in one moment?

Have a look, can you find he third chakra? Is it some kind of container for patterns of behaviour? Or it's a thought story too?

No rush, investigate thoroughly.

Sending love.
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com


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