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Looking for a guide through the gate

Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 9:38 pm
by inspiredguide
As I read through some of the post of others looking to be guided, I don't find within me the same angsts, or fears,or sufferings, so I'm not sure what is prompting me to pursue the walk through the Gate, but the strong nudge is there. I was brought up from birth with the idea that there is only One, there are not 'souls' many, only One. The idea of 'no separation' was, at least, as a concept taught to me from the beginning. I feel that the "I known as Jacki" was never born and would never die. When I was young, in my alone time, I would play this game... I would ask myself over and over "who am I ?". It seemed like I lost consciousness - or just went into the void - not sure exactly where I would "go", and some time later would return to consciousness, feeling exhilarated - with a feeling of well-being, good. I always felt connected to "the One" - one Mind, one Life, one Whatever... I never felt alone, although at the same time, I never felt that I necessarily belonged in 'the world'.

Just because I was taught this way from the beginning, does not mean that I am anymore liberated than the next guy. I do a lot of inquiry - sometimes with every sentence that comes out of my mouth - most thoughts I allow to just flow through. I've read and practiced most everything from Patanjali, Nisargadatta Maharaj, Mary Baker Eddy, to Adyashanti, Jed McKenna, Byron Katie, Eckhart Tolle, James Anderson, Abraham - you name it, I've probably been there. Who's not to like? Who's not to glean from?

Resistance to any part of Life is one thing I would like to more readily overcome. Loving and allowing what is with more grace. If anyone is willing to guide me through the gate, I will go with gratitude. Thanks.

Re: Looking for a guide through the gate

Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 11:55 pm
by s-p-a-c-e
Hello inspiredguide,

Welcome to Liberation Unleashed.

Happy to be your guide if you wish. We have a few simple but useful agreements:

1. Post at least once a day - if only to say you're unable to.
2. Put aside any other spiritual practises for the duration of our inquiry.

If you're in agreement, we can begin.

best wishes,
John

Re: Looking for a guide through the gate

Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 12:03 am
by inspiredguide
I agree. Thank you, John.

Re: Looking for a guide through the gate

Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 12:05 am
by s-p-a-c-e
I agree. Thank you, John.
Cool. Can I just check, is your first name, Jacki?

Best wishes,
John

Re: Looking for a guide through the gate

Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 12:08 am
by inspiredguide
Jacki it is.

Re: Looking for a guide through the gate

Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 12:17 am
by s-p-a-c-e
Hi Jacki,

Nice to meet you. :)

I'm John from the UK.

The focus here is to see through the fiction of the separate self 100%.

What is the most important question you could ask yourself, right now, in this regard?

With best wishes,
John

Re: Looking for a guide through the gate

Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 12:32 am
by inspiredguide
Hi John,
Nice to meet you, too!

Wow... Hmmmm... If there is no separate self, if that is just an illusion, who would be asking, and to whom would the question be directed? That would be my question...

With Intentions of the Highest Good,
Jacki

Re: Looking for a guide through the gate

Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 12:37 am
by s-p-a-c-e
Hi Jacki,
Hi John,
Nice to meet you, too!

Wow... Hmmmm... If there is no separate self, if that is just an illusion, who would be asking, and to whom would the question be directed? That would be my question...

With Intentions of the Highest Good,
Jacki
Ok, here we go:

If there is no separate self, if that is just an illusion, who would be asking, and to whom would the question be directed?

Let it out, write as much as comes forth.

Best wishes,
John

Re: Looking for a guide through the gate

Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 1:35 am
by inspiredguide
Hi John,
If there is no separate self, if that is just an illusion, who would be asking, and to whom would the question be directed?
Let it out, write as much as comes forth.
There is no separate self, there is no self at all - attached or separate - just a figment of imagination. There may be questions, but I haven't the foggiest as to who might be asking them or to whom they may be directed. There is no one out there. Fingers are typing, I can't find anyone who is moving them. They stop and start and I can't find anyone or anything that is in control. As long as there is no resistance they (the fingers) keep moving, thoughts keep flowing, questions keep coming, but from where? I don't know. It's as if there is nothing to know. I can't find any 'where', or any 'what', or any 'why', nor any 'how'. And then another question floats by, "Who is the I who can't find, or is asking, or doesn't know?" No clue. There just seems to be Life and ideas flowing, and fingers moving. One big flow, one big movement, like breathing. I have often concluded that there is just breath - no one breathing, that there is just thought - no one thinking or being thought, that there is just movement - but no one moving, that there is just Life, but no one in particular living it. As there is no one 'out there', there is no one 'in here' either. "As within, so without". There is imagination, no one imagining. I love this. This is cool. There is no one to resist. Nothing to resist. Just flow. Just breath. Just Life. Just Love. Just Truth. Just health - nothing to be healed. Just music - no one needing to make music. Just abundance. No one needed to call it forth. Nothing to know. Just being - nothing to be done.

Wow!

With the Highest Good,
Jacki

Re: Looking for a guide through the gate

Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 11:06 am
by s-p-a-c-e
Hi Jacki,

Lovely response.

Has there been a significant shift?

Describe what's different right now.

On a scale 0f 1-100 with 0 being "self is a complete fiction and not me" and 100 being "it is real and it IS me", where would you be right now on that scale?

With best wishes,
John

Re: Looking for a guide through the gate

Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 4:40 pm
by inspiredguide
Hi John,

Lovely response.

Has there been a significant shift?

Describe what's different right now.

On a scale 0f 1-100 with 0 being "self is a complete fiction and not me" and 100 being "it is real and it IS me", where would you be right now on that scale?
Thank you - it just flowed - like I had to read what was being written as it came forth... not from anyone or anything I would call myself. As it flowed, clearness came. There was this magnificent feeling of something falling away - baggage dropping. A feeling of peaceful lightness. It felt like I could have written all night, but then life happened - a call to go to the new gelato place that just opened in town, and the writing ceased and yumminess happened! The inquiring seems so important (?)! It wants to keep happening. It's such a vision opener. And another thing was noticed - I asked for help to go through the gate - there is no gate... ahhhhh - I get that now. There is only openness. There is only freedom. What's different? Liberation happened. At this moment I can't find a thing I need to resist. Life is good. Thank you.

Scale: Self= 0 zip nada

Re: Looking for a guide through the gate

Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 5:39 pm
by s-p-a-c-e
Hi Jacki,
Hi John,

Thank you - it just flowed - like I had to read what was being written as it came forth... not from anyone or anything I would call myself. As it flowed, clearness came. There was this magnificent feeling of something falling away - baggage dropping. A feeling of peaceful lightness. It felt like I could have written all night, but then life happened - a call to go to the new gelato place that just opened in town, and the writing ceased and yumminess happened! The inquiring seems so important (?)! It wants to keep happening. It's such a vision opener. And another thing was noticed - I asked for help to go through the gate - there is no gate... ahhhhh - I get that now. There is only openness. There is only freedom. What's different? Liberation happened. At this moment I can't find a thing I need to resist. Life is good. Thank you.

Scale: Self= 0 zip nada
Thank you again for the response.

Jacki, might I suggest that you take a day to fully explore this shift as you go about your day to day life, moving in different contexts, meeting friends etc. Should be fun! :)

Then tomorrow, come back and share with some of your experiences.

And, if there's anything you want to share if the meantime, feel free.

With warm wishes,
John

Re: Looking for a guide through the gate

Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 6:24 pm
by inspiredguide
Thank you again for the response.

Jacki, might I suggest that you take a day to fully explore this shift as you go about your day to day life, moving in different contexts, meeting friends etc. Should be fun! :)

Then tomorrow, come back and share with some of your experiences.

And, if there's anything you want to share if the meantime, feel free.

With warm wishes,
John
Thanks, John! Sounds like a good idea! This is not totally new to me, and/but I'm feeling home. There are shifts happening. More soon!
More soon.

Re: Looking for a guide through the gate

Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 6:28 pm
by s-p-a-c-e
Looking forward to it! :)

Warm wishes,
John

Re: Looking for a guide through the gate

Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 5:24 pm
by inspiredguide
Thank you again for the response.

Jacki, might I suggest that you take a day to fully explore this shift as you go about your day to day life, moving in different contexts, meeting friends etc. Should be fun! :)

Then tomorrow, come back and share with some of your experiences.

And, if there's anything you want to share if the meantime, feel free.

With warm wishes,
John

Hi again John,

Feelings of joy, peace, and ease still abound. Below are some observations from the past day. So many interesting things coming up. Undoubtedly more on the horizon, but here are a few for now.

Some observations noted:

The physical apparatus seems to do just fine without the mind, the self that believes it is that. When I am aware of the present moment, the observation is that this thing we call a body does best when not interfered with. Thoughts believed about what it should do next, what it is doing, what state it is in - not my business. When there is no mental direction - no self involved that thinks it knows what is best, the physical apparatus moves, the heart beats, the lungs fill up, digestion happens, fingers move, arms and legs go where they are to be in the moment. There is grace in movement, all working in order, when the "I" that believes it is in control is seen through. I have been having some angst about losing so much hair when it is washed. Thoughts that this shouldn't be happening", "This doesn't look good", "why is this happening?", "Something should be done about this", etc., etc. Yesterday, after a shower, as the body was cleaning out the drain strainer, the thought came, "Hmmmm… the physical apparatus is dropping hair. How about that." No stressful feelings attached! Then the thought came, "Who made this "body? Did the self called I have anything to do with that?" I couldn't find any proof of that one. All the intricacies of so-called cells, interconnectedness, unfathomable elaborateness. Yet the I thinks it knows more than this amazing piece of work. It became clearer how when the I that believes it owns this body is extracted from the picture, the physical apparatus does marvelous things! It heals wounds. It gives birth painlessly. It builds other bodies. It breaths, it functions, it goes from point A to point B without being told how to do it. It drives cars - even when the mind is elsewhere and doesn't know how it suddenly got to where it is…. Without the belief in a separate self, an I that believes it is in control, perhaps disease would be seen for what it is - another grand illusion created by an I believing it knows best. The body functions perfectly, as does reality, when resistance of a separate self is left out of the picture. Another huge chunk of illusion dropped. The world believes the body Jacki is attached to to be 60 years old, and it hears from many others of all the ills that 'should' befall it by now. However, without a sense of an I owning this apparatus, it has been functioning as it did when it was any other younger age. It still sees the small print, it does all the asanas in yoga - even in high heat - without a problem and impressively. It runs, it eats, it jumps, it looks not it's so-called age, etc. It is not a slave to any belief of an owner. The I that thinks it owns anything is the only thing seeing the illusion of imperfection. And there is no proof that any sense of self has any remote inkling of what perfection might even be.

Without this sense of a separate self, all manner of things which before were invisible - not noticed, are there to be seen - openings happen, ways clear, paths light up. I have been relentlessly trying to find us (my husband and 17 year old daughter) a house to rent in a city closer to my husband's job in Vermont. It's been frustrating. Nothing available that isn't ridiculously expensive, but look like disgusting rat traps! Winter is coming and I wanted to be moved before snow. The i of me believing it knows what is best, and Life having other plans. That's when the feelings of frustration loom. With the exercise we started with the other day, all that frustration, the believing that I had to make something happen has ceased. The ease of seeing through the separate self has left the feeling of relief. Moving will happen when it happens. I have this sense of ease so firmly grounded that all is OK, nothing to do, I do not have to do the finding, the place will come to us. And an even more fun thing has happened… My daughter an I visited Oregon in August, and we fell in love. Now things may be moving in the direction of going back to the west (we're originally from CA), and the best part is, 'my self' has been removed from the equation of 'making it happen'. Feelings of relief and the letting go of this desire to move to a 'better' spot, are hard to describe - complete peace - beyond the ability of words. Yet there remains this feeling of jubilation that exciting things are in the works! I'm just watching it all unfold. When the 'me' is no longer revered as the master, lightness, peace, joy, and power happen. Weight is dropped. Cause and effect no longer rule the world. There is no existence of a past or future - they only exist in a so-called mind of i, and when the i is seen through there is only now, here, inclusion, everything, nothing.