Good morning Helen,
It highlights just how much of reading from the gurus has been translated into concepts that I understand to be true but the they become fixed and happenings are viewed through these concepts.
Oh yes. i saw it described as "Romantic spiritualism" recently. i call it pop zen. The idea of perpetual bliss, etc, has a huge influence on creating a Guru industry and painting liberation as unatainable without an exotic setting or an expensive teacher. If each person that wakes up, passes it forward to only two others, then within a couple of generations we will have a much saner world.
The belief in an ‘I’ seems to contain so many belief thoughts that I feel it’s hard to break that all down.
Yes, thoughts that support other thoughts, that promote particular experiences.
Does it have a physical component?
no definitely not but it can affect the body in reactions to it.
yes, here when a belief is encountered, there is a kind of relaxing into it feeling. When a (belief) story happens, like, "When tomorrow is now, there will be daylight and vince will experience enjoyment." there is an almost audible "Ahh.." in response.
But what is doing the believing? Here is where I come unstuck. I suppose it’s just a happening
You only have to remember the cup exercise to realize that a what not only isn't necessary, but to cognize that the believing that is happening is all that exists. Your experiencing is you. The experiencing is the totality of Helen. Everything else imagined supports that experiencing.
Experiencing a body called Helen, experiencing an other, experiencing seeing or touching a tree, all of this, remove the experiencing and there is no Helen.
This new perspective does take some getting used to. Once seen, it needs constant reminding until it it becomes the norm.
The I has many, many, happenings that can show the I to be real unless it seen clearly it’s not. Perhaps that is what I am searching for… this bolt of lightening or even just a turn around of knowing.
Yes, even language has evolved to support this illusion.
i think that you have seen that an I is illusory but the preponderance of everything that supports the illusion keeps that old belief alive. This will change.
this bolt of lightening or even just a turn around of knowing.
This can happen with one sentence. When Vince heard "the mosquito bite of seeking will never heal while you keep scratching it." WHAM! That was my bolt of lightening. It happened for another seeker a few days ago when he heard "All thoughts are crap."
It may not happen with a bolt of lightening, but that turn around of knowing (believing) that you mentioned. It this is the way it happens for Helen, then it will be led by experience.
It seems to be the only way as the more I try to distract myself the more they come because I am reminded of what I am running from.
yes, there is another old aphorism that says "what you resist, you make stronger." i believe this to be accurate.
I feel there is something rotten I carry inside. Deep in the pit of my being somewhere.
Yes, experience can corrupt the inherent good nature of the organism. You only have to look at a baby or a young animal to see the great beauty that we start out with. i believe that although it might be suppressed by conditioning, that it still exists. That in Helen there is a really beautiful energy waiting for release. Like a 'Jack in a box', it just needs a lid to be lifted to spring out.
This belief is confirmed by experiences here.
O heck. Getting myself in a muddle again.
That happens, but you will always rise to the surface again and appreciate the fresh air.
with love (and more)