Looking to be guided to what's already in front of me

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jonco
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Looking to be guided to what's already in front of me

Postby jonco » Wed Aug 28, 2019 4:58 am

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
That everything from my childhood until now that was experienced, was all labeled into the sense of "I" whereas "I" never actually existed, but merely just a label in this human experience. The experience that is happening is just witnessing life on this universe through only the senses that I know are true.

What are you looking for at LU?
A clear sense of truth. What is this experience exactly and why is my brain trying to hard to keep a hold of this identity that is trying to be "I". Upon journeying through meditation and experiences with psychedelics, they only leave more questions for what this experience actually is. They are great tools for healing, but not for explaining what this universe actually is and what this experience actually is. I am confused.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
Nothing but a finger pointing me towards the direction that I must go to ask the questions that I must ask to liberate myself from this form of suffering that is attached to the person I perceive myself to be.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I have been meditating for 2 years now. I have reached states where I am in the moment experiencing nothing else but the moment. No thoughts. I have some psychedelic experiences where I would fight to keep my sense of self and it was a constant battle of trying to let go of my sense of self. (ego death)

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
11

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Canfora
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Re: Looking to be guided to what's already in front of me

Postby Canfora » Mon Sep 16, 2019 10:05 am

Hello. My name is Canfora and I'm one of LU guides. You have been waiting for a while. Are you still interested in being guided? If you are I'm here for you.

Thank you for your nice introduction! This guiding isn't about ego death. We aren't trying to get rid of anything. Fortunately. Just to see what is here as it is.

Take care, Canfora

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jonco
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Re: Looking to be guided to what's already in front of me

Postby jonco » Tue Sep 17, 2019 11:09 pm

Hello. My name is Canfora and I'm one of LU guides. You have been waiting for a while. Are you still interested in being guided? If you are I'm here for you.

Thank you for your nice introduction! This guiding isn't about ego death. We aren't trying to get rid of anything. Fortunately. Just to see what is here as it is.

Take care, Canfora
I would love to be guided.

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Canfora
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Re: Looking to be guided to what's already in front of me

Postby Canfora » Wed Sep 18, 2019 10:10 am

Good. Let's start then.
Do you feel any fears when you consider the possibility that an I doesn't exist?
If I tell you there is no separate self at all in reality. No agent that is in charge, no manager, no watcher, no owner of life; all there is is life flowing freely as one movement how do you feel?

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jonco
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Re: Looking to be guided to what's already in front of me

Postby jonco » Sun Sep 22, 2019 12:31 am

Good. Let's start then.
Do you feel any fears when you consider the possibility that an I doesn't exist?
If I tell you there is no separate self at all in reality. No agent that is in charge, no manager, no watcher, no owner of life; all there is is life flowing freely as one movement how do you feel?
I feel that I am okay to the knowing that there is no separate self. I know that I have been programmed by societal beliefs to make me think that I am a somebody. I know that nothing I do can change the future because everything is happening at this present moment and it is indeed free flowing.

I understand all the implications of this human meat suit is just experiencing this universe through the meat suit's set of eyes and that we have put labels on everything so that when we see objects, these labels pop up in our head and that is what it was named.

My problem is that I don't have the direct experience. I feel that I am still sometimes lost in my ego. Perhaps I just need to meditate more.

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Canfora
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Re: Looking to be guided to what's already in front of me

Postby Canfora » Mon Sep 23, 2019 3:24 pm

Thank you for your post jonco and for your sincerity. It's great that you don't have any particular fears around this exploration. Let me know if any fears start to appear when you ponder my questions or do exercises.

Well, speaking from my own experience you don't need to mediate to see what I will be pointing to.
Seriously.

Seeing isn't meditating and we will talk about what seeing is in future posts.
My problem is that I don't have the direct experience.
Tell me something. Are you having the direct experience of being a self right now? How do you know you are?

If your immediate answer is "yes, I am" try using your senses and describing this self to me, like you would describe the screen you are looking at.

It is possible that you will feel frustrated while doing this and that is okay and to be expected. Let me know how it goes.

Take care,
C

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jonco
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Re: Looking to be guided to what's already in front of me

Postby jonco » Mon Sep 23, 2019 5:11 pm

Thank you for your post jonco and for your sincerity. It's great that you don't have any particular fears around this exploration. Let me know if any fears start to appear when you ponder my questions or do exercises.

Well, speaking from my own experience you don't need to mediate to see what I will be pointing to.
Seriously.

Seeing isn't meditating and we will talk about what seeing is in future posts.
My problem is that I don't have the direct experience.
Tell me something. Are you having the direct experience of being a self right now? How do you know you are?

If your immediate answer is "yes, I am" try using your senses and describing this self to me, like you would describe the screen you are looking at.

It is possible that you will feel frustrated while doing this and that is okay and to be expected. Let me know how it goes.

Take care,
C
I had an experience yesterday while I was in the shower. With the intention of going deeper into this thought, I think it finally clicked.

The thought was about me being born and having been given a name. AKA a label. Also the beginning of creating a "self".
So with that name, it was like I was programmed to be attached to it and to create a personality from it.
And then I thought that if I wasn't given a name and if nothing was taught to me, I would just be a human experiencing this earth. No thoughts because there is nothing to label. Everything would be experiencing in full awareness.

The story that was created from the day that I was given a name does no exist. All that is happening is experience in this human vessel through my senses. And we are taught that the person we think we are is indeed a "self".

Is that it?

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Canfora
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Re: Looking to be guided to what's already in front of me

Postby Canfora » Tue Sep 24, 2019 12:30 pm

Thank you for sharing your experience! Those are nice insights.
It seems to me that you are trying to figure out HOW the illusion starts and HOW its kept in place.
That's okay. You're doing great! You just need to focus in looking instead of thinking; and looking and seeing may require a shift in focus, and some training and practice.

What we are doing here is more of an invitation to question the existence of the I here and now using the senses - it's like trying to find your house keys, you need to... well... try to find them using the senses instead of relying on your memory although your memory may help. You can think and think about this and you can make a list of how's and why's but the thinking will not make you see the illusion - and it is the seeing (using the eyes to check what's here, using the senses) that will make you certain of which thoughts are accurate (the same way you need to sense a cup of tea of coffee to know if it's safe to drink it without getting burned). The thinking will not help you see the illusion because it's the thinking itself that creates the illusion and keeps it in place, although it can be an useful tool - keep sharing thoughts and doubts.

Maybe I should tell you that in thinking and language you will keep "I'ing and selfing". That's normal and how it goes. That's how thinking and language work. We aren't trying to change this, the idea is to see if these kind of thoughts match reality. You can think about Santa Claus, unicorns, the Equator, Batman, etc, etc ant these thoughts are a real experience although the content isn't. We know there is no Santa regardless of having thoughts about it and all the Christmas related real stuff. Probably because none the evidences of Santa existence are connected to a real Santa. If we think about a cup we can go to the kitchen and experience a cup. If we think about Santa we can try to experience a real Santa all our life but it is very unlikely that we will experience the real deal. With the I is the same. You will see :)

Have a look around you. Do you see a you, an I? Have a go at this even if it sounds weird. Have a look. What is there? What isn't there?

Share how trying to find a real I goes.

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Canfora
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Re: Looking to be guided to what's already in front of me

Postby Canfora » Mon Sep 30, 2019 8:54 am

Hi jonco. You aren't replying and there are people waiting for a guide. So, I will stop guiding you and start with other person. If you really want to be guided I suggest you start a new conversation here in the forum and stay committed. Take care, C

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jonco
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Re: Looking to be guided to what's already in front of me

Postby jonco » Mon Sep 30, 2019 5:08 pm

Hi jonco. You aren't replying and there are people waiting for a guide. So, I will stop guiding you and start with other person. If you really want to be guided I suggest you start a new conversation here in the forum and stay committed. Take care, C
My apologies, I have been busy with work and the emails of your reply go straight to my spam inbox, so I did not see!

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Canfora
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Re: Looking to be guided to what's already in front of me

Postby Canfora » Tue Oct 01, 2019 5:00 pm

I'm sorry, I should have asked what was going on before assuming what was going on.
I usually reply to your posts in the same day or the day after so please try to answer once a day or as fast as you can.
If you don't I will start losing interest and thinking you are not interested also.

If what I say above it's okay with you - I'm really sorry! - can you please skip the last post and address this post?: posting.php?mode=reply&f=4&t=7514#pr290458


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