Pretty sure I'm not there yet!

Welcome to the main forum. When you are ready to start a conversation, register and once your application is processed a guide will come to talk to you.
This is one-on-one style forum, one thread per green member.
User avatar
Granty77
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:38 am

Re: Pretty sure I'm not there yet!

Postby Granty77 » Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:16 pm

Hi Paula

Thanks for the clarification, dont worry that didn't get in the way or anything.

I kept re-reading something you asked, 'is there a you or a thought of you?' - I've looked and looked and there's nothing there, just an emptiness where the thought 'me' or 'mine' appears, nothing else. It's the same with the body, there are physical sensations and then the thought or label 'me' is attached.

I can't actually see anything of real substance when it comes to 'me' - just sensations and memories and imagination that is claimed as 'mine' in a thought.

I don't really feel much different knowing this, I feel a bit lighter though, like I don't have to take anything so seriously anymore.

I did the labelling exercise a few times today and it kept me grounded where I woukd have previously got engrossed in thought. I felt it gave me some distance from the thoughts, a lot of which were about 'me' or 'mine' in nature - I was surprised how many there were actually!

The labelling exercise has brought me much more into the real world too I feel. Like I'm sat athe front row in the cinema, rather than at the back with people distracting me in front :)

I also feel like I've been cut adrift somehow, like there's no fixed place where 'I' am - that could be the aperol spritz maybe :) but no, I dont think just that. I'll see how I feel tomorrow!

Thanks
Neil

User avatar
Granty77
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:38 am

Re: Pretty sure I'm not there yet!

Postby Granty77 » Sat Aug 17, 2019 1:54 pm

Hi Paula

Just following on from yesterday, that excited giddiness had faded and I'm back where I was. I'm continuing to label objects in my experience and I feel like it's sharpening my senses, almost pulling me out of a hazy state of awareness. One thing I've started to notice are the thoughts 'this isn't it', 'not there yet', 'Its not going to happen for you' etc - it's as though I'm being deliberately sabotaged in my attempts, by me!

Not sure where to go from here but trying to look behind these doubtful thoughts and continue with the labelling exercise.

Thanks
Neil

Sent from my Moto G (5) using Tapatalk


User avatar
Granty77
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:38 am

Re: Pretty sure I'm not there yet!

Postby Granty77 » Mon Aug 19, 2019 6:01 am

Hello again

Just another update. I feel like there's been some sort of shift in how Insee things. It's like when I look everything, allnthe things I considered 'I' included, are all part of one whole thing that can be observed. So when I see a branch not separate from a tree, my thoughts are also not separate from the tree.

The act of looking diligently the last few days has made me see that I've been looking 'inside' for something to happen, when in fact there's nothing there, it's all happening elsewhere. This has brought about aa kind of peace, innthe sense that I'm experiencing thoughts the same way as I'm experiencing the chair, they're equal in value, not more value placed on the chair.

Im noticing thoughts and sensations concerned with this not lasting, or not being it - but I don't see how that can be, as I only have to look to see the truth.

Thanks
Neil

User avatar
BeHereNow
Posts: 101
Joined: Thu Mar 07, 2019 1:00 am

Re: Pretty sure I'm not there yet!

Postby BeHereNow » Mon Aug 19, 2019 3:54 pm

Hi Neil,

Your posts are beautiful!!! You are totally getting it.
'is there a you or a thought of you?' - I've looked and looked and there's nothing there, just an emptiness where the thought 'me' or 'mine' appears, nothing else. It's the same with the body, there are physical sensations and then the thought or label 'me' is attached.
You got it! The more we look the more we can see that there is no actual "me" that is unchanging and separate, just the thought of me.
I felt it gave me some distance from the thoughts, a lot of which were about 'me' or 'mine' in nature - I was surprised how many there were actually!
Yes! This is a key to maintaining our clarity, noticing the thoughts that previously would have taken us away and realizing that they are just thoughts. It can be kind of funny and as you say, lighten things up, when we realize that we've been going around and around but really it is all just thought.
The labelling exercise has brought me much more into the real world
I am still amazed by how Looking at things that are actually here - colours, sounds, textures, can bring us closer to living our life. As you look you might even notice that the thought creates a barrier between you and life, I notice this when I am listening to my kids, when a thought comes and if I follow it I miss what they said. The more we LOOK instead of think, the more present we are.
One thing I've started to notice are the thoughts 'this isn't it', 'not there yet', 'Its not going to happen for you' etc - it's as though I'm being deliberately sabotaged in my attempts, by me!
You got it :-) Each time we feel we should be somewhere else, there is a thought there.
when I look everything, allnthe things I considered 'I' included, are all part of one whole thing that can be observed. So when I see a branch not separate from a tree, my thoughts are also not separate from the tree.
Yes. There is no separation, only life happening as it does, and as you say what is happening "inside" of us or "outside" of us is not much different. Just sensations, colours, textures, sounds... flowing and changing, moment by moment.
Im noticing thoughts and sensations concerned with this not lasting, or not being it - but I don't see how that can be, as I only have to look to see the truth.
There are some thoughts that are very "sticky". Even after years they come back and feel so real!!! We will look deeper into thoughts in my next post, overtime we catch ourselves more quickly and realize that as you say, we only have to Look to see the truth.

Well done!!!

User avatar
BeHereNow
Posts: 101
Joined: Thu Mar 07, 2019 1:00 am

Re: Pretty sure I'm not there yet!

Postby BeHereNow » Mon Aug 19, 2019 4:02 pm

We are now going to look deeply into thoughts.

This exercise is called Finding the Gap, and has a dual purpose. First, to become aware of each and every thought as they appear. Secondly, the careful looking for the gap is an example of how carefully to look when looking for the "separate self".

Here are the instructions:

Sit for 10-15 minutes quietly somewhere, a few times throughout your day. Close your eyes and just notice thoughts. Don't engage with any thought, just notice them.

1. Notice the current thought that is present.
A thought might arise "this is my feet", or "here is a pain", or "my breathing is too quick", or "I am not doing this right", or "I am bored with this exercise."

2. This thought will pass and another thought will come. So just observe this thought passing.

3. Wait for the next thought to come.

4. When the next thought is present, just notice it, and see how it passes.

5. Then wait for the next thought to come.

6. Repeat #4 and #5 many-many times.

Between the 2 thoughts there is a gap. It can be very short or subtle, just a second or a few seconds before the next thought comes in.


This is how to look at thoughts:-
Looking how they come and go, and
Observing the short gap between them.
Noticing how the current thought is passing.
And waiting for the next thought to come.

Let me know how it goes!!!

Lots of love,
Paula

User avatar
Granty77
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:38 am

Re: Pretty sure I'm not there yet!

Postby Granty77 » Fri Aug 23, 2019 2:09 pm

Hi Paula

Thanks for your encouragement and guidance, it is very much appreciated.

I just wanted to explain the radio silence from me the last week or so. There's been a bit of a family crisis with a couple of relatives ending up in hospital, so advancing the practice has stalled a bit as this is requiring my full attention for now. A positive is that I'm more able to focus on the tasks in hand rather than getting sucked into the drama surrounding it all.

Things are currently being resolved so I'll be back on track with this after the weekend of nothing else comes up.

Speak soon
Neil

Sent from my Moto G (5) using Tapatalk


User avatar
BeHereNow
Posts: 101
Joined: Thu Mar 07, 2019 1:00 am

Re: Pretty sure I'm not there yet!

Postby BeHereNow » Fri Aug 23, 2019 2:36 pm

Hi Neil,

Thanks so much for reaching out.

I'm so sorry to hear about your family crisis. Best wishes to all of you as you navigate through this challenging time.
A positive is that I'm more able to focus on the tasks in hand rather than getting sucked into the drama surrounding it all.
This is great. Keep noticing the thoughts and the gap between the thoughts, as well as Looking into all aspects of what is present: thought, colour, sensation, taste and smell.

Looking forward to hearing from you next week. Best of luck with everything!

Lots of love,
Paula


Return to “THE GATE”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 1 guest