It is a feeling of existence, with thoughts attaching to it calling it me. However, stripping it back, it’s just a feeling, thought calls it existence.“That’s how it feels”…and what is the AE of “that’s how it feels”?
The only thing that ever makes sense when trying to refer to ‘me’ in terms of a location, is here. However, I can’t define an exact location or specific point where my seeming sense of self is.Let’s explore this SENSE (feeling) of self very-very thoroughly.
Keep the focus of attention on the sense of self and inquire…
Does the sense of self have a location?
No, not in any normal way that I can define / think of.Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?
It doesn’t say anything but there is communication in an indirect way, of existing. However, that may not be the self, it is just a feeling that I label as existence. Cutting it back, it is just a feeling, albeit an ever present one.Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?
There seems to be a felt knowing that there is existence right here, right now. Again though, the ‘self’ concept of Colm is put on top of that. Also again, thought labels it as existence, a conceptual term.If the answer is yes, how does the sense do this exactly?
No, it is a conceptual idea. There is a subtle vibrancy at the core of the feeling of existence though. This is likely just ‘life’ or ‘life-ing’, and concepts of self / Colm are attached to it.Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?
At its core it seems to be just a feeling of existence, an ever present one. Then, in terms of the idea of Colm, thoughts, concepts, memories, etc. are tied together in a seemingly intricate web on top of that feeling.What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?
Well, in AE there are just thoughts appearing. It is hard to deny a logical correlation between them though, as it seems in response to data being input. However, I cannot see behind this, nor will I be able to, and given the general random nature of thoughts, it is probably safe to assume it is just more related thoughts appearing about other related thoughts.Wonderful! Is it the mind wrestling with this, or are there thoughts appearing that seem to be wrestling with this, and thoughts ABOUT something (mind) wrestling with this?
Yes, it is my experience, but I sense resistance (thought/feeling) in me somehow about this.Great! So it is clear that there is no gap for there to be a seer and the seen? In other words, there is no one seeing black…black (AE as colour) is all there is…right?
Similar to the last question, yes I can see this, they are the same thing. However, there are thoughts / feelings of resistance to it arising. I need to sit with this more.Yes…so can you see that there is no experiencer of experience, that they are one and the same thing? So is it possible for there to be a subject and an object split?
No, it doesn’t appear and disappear. If it’s there, it’s there.Is the colour an appearance, or it simply IS? Does what is labelled as ‘colour’ actually appear and disappear?
I’m not sure I understand the question fully, but if all is one, then there can be nothing unseen.Wonderful! If there is no "seeing", then can there be anything "unseen"?
As best I can guess, it seems to be a function of the way it works i.e. it is meant to trick seeming people into believing they are see-ers.How can this appear just as it does if there is literally no see-ers?
That everything is one. That there is no localised me.What are the implications when there is no witness to be found - no separable awareness of any kind?
It’s a windscreen, wide open view. I can’t find the thing that is seeing. Seeing and seen are one. It looks to be just experience, which awareness is a constituent element of.Look at whatever is in front of you. Is it seen from the perspective of two windows (eyes), or is it like a windscreen view? Now zoom back in and try to find the thing that’s seeing. Is there seeing separate from what’s seen, or is there just what’s seen? Is there any awareness separate from experience or is there just experience?
Nowhere, although it seems to be in my head. It’s maybe a repeating network of thoughts, memories, etc.Where exactly is this “me” that has “been trained in believing that there is a me”?
I assume it is the same illusory pattern outlined in answer to the last question.What is it exactly that is trying to “break habits”?
Life is happening, nothing else.When you LOOK at that, like you looked at the commentary on the sports exercise, and you turn the commentary off…what is actually happening?
If it’s parred back, it's just a sensation. Thought labels it as ‘pressure’.Is there something called “pressure” or is the raw experience ‘sensation” being labelled as “pressure”? Is “pressure” actually known?
I can’t find the ‘I’. It is just an incessant and repeating thought pattern that seems to run on automatic, with many, many assumptions attached to it. It can look like the ‘I’ is labelling, but it is just happening.Where is this “I” that is labelling a head? Is there an “I” that is labelling, or is labelling just happening?
Without thought, it’s not known. There would just be sensation.Are there two “pressure points” How is this known?
Without thought, no, nothing can be known.So is it clear, that thought points to sensation and labels it a ‘head’? Can an actual head be found/known?
I can’t see my ‘head’. It is known only by thoughts and associations based on memory.With eyes open, touch the top of “your head”. Can you actually see “your head”, or are there only thoughts about “my head”? How is it known that you are touching the “top of your head”?
Thanks again Kay,