What Am I?

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forgetmenot
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Re: What Am I?

Postby forgetmenot » Wed Jul 10, 2019 7:49 am

Hi Pear,

It is a good exercise to do. It is good to dedicate it time and to do it several times. Until I hear from you....

Kay
Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.
https://freedomalreadyis.com/

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pear
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Re: What Am I?

Postby pear » Fri Jul 12, 2019 7:50 am

First thing is to sit for at least 10-15 minutes quietly somewhere, several times throughout your day. Close the eyes and just notice thoughts. Don’t engage with any thought, just notice them.
Thank you Kay! This was very very valuable. Because for three years i have wanting to slow my thoughts down, and not been able to do it when i work. i work 10 - 13 hours m-f in a fast, many times chaotic, loud with times of anger and lots of cursing. Oh and with no real breaks or lunch. But monday tuesday and wednesday was different computer down and it was unusually slow. Monday I did no quiet time. Tuesday I did one 15min and Wednesday I did three 15 min noticing thoughts and today did two. This was a blessing because I noticed my thoughts. However I don't remember what they were. The effect is a blessing. The calming effect is noticeable after day 3 and mostly today.
Please do the following exercise:
Throughout your waking day, try to observe the gap between thoughts as often as possible. It can be done by noticing that ‘thinking’ is happening right now, then stop and just simply wait for the next thought to come. In the ‘waiting’ there is a gap between two thoughts.
Let me know how you go.

Can a thinker of thought be found between the gaps?
t
This was also a great exercise. the thoughts were 4 types: type 1, someone else's thoughts and visions like little stories not related to any thing that I know of. Those were not often. type 2 thoughts, nonsense thoughts silly thoughts, type 3 what I want to say to someone and to you thoughts, type 4 judgmental thoughts about me. All the thoughts were helpful to see and some thoughts about me deeper thoughts that i could dismiss.

The gap became clearer over the days but i couldn't find the thinker of thought in the gaps.

Now I know what a gap is. I have had those gaps before, never knew what they were for or what they were. just no thoughts? But NEVER was i able to slow down thoughts at work and most of the time i am not even aware of what my thoughts are. My Guidance has told me consistently for years slow down pause and ask before you speak to clients/patients...over the past several months i was becoming aware a little but i was thinking it was almost hopeless. Now it is different. hallelujah. The gap is still fuzzy at times when i am trying hard. When i relax it the thoughts are noticeable as well as the gap. I was getting good at it this evening. Great instructions. thank you..."I am still workin it "..thats a slang.

blessingsthankslove

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Re: What Am I?

Postby forgetmenot » Fri Jul 12, 2019 11:48 am

Hello Pear,

I am glad you got a lot from the 'looking for the gap' exercise. The point of the exercise was just to notice each and every thought as it appeared and disappeared. This was not only to help you to start to learn to observe all thoughts, but was in preparation for the several exercises
Please do the following exercise:
Throughout your waking day, try to observe the gap between thoughts as often as possible. It can be done by noticing that ‘thinking’ is happening right now, then stop and just simply wait for the next thought to come. In the ‘waiting’ there is a gap between two thoughts.
Let me know how you go.
This was also a great exercise. the thoughts were 4 types: type 1, someone else's thoughts and visions like little stories not related to any thing that I know of. Those were not often. type 2 thoughts, nonsense thoughts silly thoughts, type 3 what I want to say to someone and to you thoughts, type 4 judgmental thoughts about me. All the thoughts were helpful to see and some thoughts about me deeper thoughts that i could dismiss.
It doesn't matter what thought labels other thoughts as...they are simply all just thought and none have any particular meaning.
The gap became clearer over the days but i couldn't find the thinker of thought in the gaps.
Great! Being aware that there is no thinker of thought is something to remember as we continue our investigation.

Okay, here is an exercise which points out the difference between actual experience and content of thought.

There are two types of thoughts:
(1) Thoughts with words “Here is cup”
(2) Visual mental images of a ‘cup’

So I invite you to do this exercise:
Think of a cup. Get a very clear picture in your mind. See clearly the size, shape, colour and volume of the cup. Notice whether it is decorated or plain. Notice whether it has a handle. Notice whether it is heavy or fragile. Do you have a clear picture in mind?

Now, can you physically grasp that image of a cup?
Can you pour tea into it?
Can you drink from it?

Is there a ‘real’ cup or just an image of a cup?
Is there an appearing mental image?
Is the content of the mental image (the cup) ‘real’?

The thoughts and mental images are real (actual experience) only as arising thoughts and mental images, their ‘presence’ cannot be denied. However their contents, what are they about (like the cup) are not ‘real’, they are just fantasies. Can you see this?

Over the course of the next day or so, I'd like you to notice the content of thoughts. Whenever there is an arising thought or mental image, check whether its content (what it’s about) is REALLY happening, or the content is just pure imagination. Let me know how it goes.


Love, Kay
Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.
https://freedomalreadyis.com/

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Re: What Am I?

Postby pear » Fri Jul 12, 2019 4:37 pm

lease do the following exercise:
Throughout your waking day, try to observe the gap between thoughts as often as possible. It can be done by noticing that ‘thinking’ is happening right now, then stop and just simply wait for the next thought to come. In the ‘waiting’ there is a gap between two thoughts.
Let me know how you go.
thanks for the clarification ...Will do. thanks again
love rubye

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Re: What Am I?

Postby pear » Sun Jul 14, 2019 6:50 pm

Now, can you physically grasp that image of a cup?
Can you pour tea into it?
Can you drink from it?
I thought of a cup, with a clear picture, shape, ect.
I cannot physically grasp that image of a cup!
I cannot pour tea into it!!
I cannot drink from it period.
Is there a ‘real’ cup or just an image of a cup?
Is there an appearing mental image?
Is the content of the mental image (the cup) ‘real’?
There is only of image of a cup. There is an appearing mental image in the/my mind
The content of the mental image .. green, heavy, etc. is not real!!!! it is my imagination.
YES i can see that they are just fantasies. YES YES i see it.
Over the course of the next day or so, I'd like you to notice the content of thoughts. Whenever there is an arising thought or mental image, check whether its content (what it’s about) is REALLY happening, or the content is just pure imagination. Let me know how it goes.
"First i had to slow down" that is an arising thought, with a image attached it . it is all bull shit ha ha!

" I am anxious about doing this exercise" That is an arising thought.
" I didn't want to think" An arising thought.
" I am not thinking" " I am the watcher" this is funny kay.... all arising thoughts
"there is a thought that won't get it lollolololololo
" iam so excited i need take a walk" that's a thought too. (i don't take a walk i finish the excercise) all Arisng thoughts but there have been an sensation but thats a thought too??
" the best chocolate cake in green valley arising thought immediately after the thought an image of a chocolate cake thought and the content color, icing etc.

The first day i wasn't really understanding...but trying to do the exercise, I had a thought a mental image of my son lying on the garage floor with blood around his head and a gun. that whole scene at that time there was a thought that, not a word thought but a feeling for a lack of a better word...this is a imagination and now a few days ago it was an image...the thought of guilt came up ..just a thought i was blaming him in my mind in I'm my imagination, the thoughts at that time was he could do better didn't say that but thought that...Blah blah blah....there is a thought of guilt that is being thought of as a thought just a thought. I know this is not what the excerise is for, but this can be one of the benefits of what we are trying to do.

What is next Kay? Thank you Love

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Re: What Am I?

Postby forgetmenot » Mon Jul 15, 2019 12:06 am

Hello Rubye,

Lovely looking! :)
Now, can you physically grasp that image of a cup?
Can you pour tea into it?
Can you drink from it?
I thought of a cup, with a clear picture, shape, ect.
I cannot physically grasp that image of a cup!
I cannot pour tea into it!!
I cannot drink from it period.
Yes, exactly. It is simply a picture thought ie an image.
Is there a ‘real’ cup or just an image of a cup?
Is there an appearing mental image?
Is the content of the mental image (the cup) ‘real’?
There is only of image of a cup. There is an appearing mental image in the/my mind
The content of the mental image .. green, heavy, etc. is not real!!!! it is my imagination.
YES i can see that they are just fantasies. YES YES i see it.
Lovely, Rubye!

Let’s have a look at the idea of a mental image appearing in “my mind”/head.
So let’s examine the solidity of the head.

Please IGNORE ALL THOUGHTS AND MENTAL IMAGES of ‘head’ and ‘fingers’ and just answer from actual experience. Close your eyes and take in a couple of deep breaths to settle the dust and keeping your eyes closed...

Press a finger down onto the top of the ‘head’.
Notice what is actually present.
Is it a head, or is it just a sensation (labelled ‘pressure’) and thoughts ABOUT a head?

Do the same with a finger on each side of the head.
Is a head actually found, or are there just sensations again?
And is there anything between the pressure points, or are there just thoughts about something being in between them

Without thought, how big is your head?
Without thought, does it have an inside or an outside?
Without thought, does it have a location?

Over the course of the next day or so, I'd like you to notice the content of thoughts. Whenever there is an arising thought or mental image, check whether its content (what it’s about) is REALLY happening, or the content is just pure imagination. Let me know how it goes.
"First i had to slow down" that is an arising thought, with a image attached it . it is all bull shit ha ha!
Haha, yes! Thought either points to AE or it points to thoughts about thought…which is fantasy/image(nation).

If thought says that you saw a spectacular ‘sunrise’ yesterday…is that sunrise experience as you presently find it? No…so it is just thought story ie ‘imagination’. If however, the colours labelled spectacular ‘sunrise’ is experience as you presently find it (ie now), then thought is pointing to actual experience as you presently find it (ie your direct, actual experience). In other words the colour that thought is referring to as a 'sunrise' is what is actually appearing now. Thought either points to actual experience as you presently find it...or it is pointing to thoughts about thought, since the ‘sunrise’ is not the current experience, so it only equates to story...thought fluff/imagination – thoughts about thoughts.
Is this clear?

" iam so excited i need take a walk" that's a thought too. (i don't take a walk i finish the excercise) all Arisng thoughts but there have been an sensation but thats a thought too??
This is where you will have to stop and actually LOOK, to see if there is an actual sensation appearing in the body. It is a good idea to start to see what is an actual body sensation and what is just a thought story.

For example, “I feel like a person”. Can that “feeling” actually be felt? If not, then it is just a thought/idea/concept.
If an actual sensation is felt, then it is AE of sensation, but is not AE of a person.
Would the sensation itself, suggest in any way that it is a person or knows anything about a person?
Can you see this?

The first day i wasn't really understanding...but trying to do the exercise, I had a thought a mental image of my son lying on the garage floor with blood around his head and a gun. that whole scene at that time there was a thought that, not a word thought but a feeling for a lack of a better word...this is a imagination and now a few days ago it was an image...the thought of guilt came up ..just a thought i was blaming him in my mind in I'm my imagination, the thoughts at that time was he could do better didn't say that but thought that...Blah blah blah....there is a thought of guilt that is being thought of as a thought just a thought. I know this is not what the excerise is for, but this can be one of the benefits of what we are trying to do.
Next time ‘guilt’ appears….STOP and check in with the body. Have a look and find where the sensation is felt in the body. As I said above, it’s important to discern between and actual sensation and just a “feeling”. If there is no actual body sensation..then all that is appearing is thoughts about guilt. If there is a body sensation....let me know, so we can look at it together (or any other emotion that appears).

With love,
Kay
Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.
https://freedomalreadyis.com/

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Re: What Am I?

Postby pear » Wed Jul 17, 2019 5:01 am

r
ess a finger down onto the top of the ‘head’.
Notice what is actually present.
Is it a head, or is it just a sensation (labelled ‘pressure’) and thoughts ABOUT a head?
This was a sensation which in fact i label as pressure. And no noticeable thoughts about the head.Do the same with a finger on each side of the head.
Is a head actually found, or are there just sensations again?
And is there anything between the pressure points, or are there just thoughts about something being in between them

Without thought, how big is your head?
Without thought, does it have an inside or an outside?
Without thought, does it have a location?
just sensations again
nothing between the pressure points. thoughts is it space between the pressure points. not sure just sensation, just sensation is the actual experience. and thought.
without thought nothing comes up about a head. or an inside or outside, No there is no location .
r it is pointing to thoughts about thought, since the ‘sunrise’ is not the current experience, so it only equates to story...thought fluff/imagination – thoughts about thoughts.
Is this clear?
It is clear thoughts about thoughts
Kay nothing came up yet about Guilt.
my medication class is tomorrow and the next day too. how shall i see it?
sending warm loving thoughts your way,
that is a subtle sensation
my back is hurting. thought about a sensation? sensation.

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Re: What Am I?

Postby pear » Wed Jul 17, 2019 5:43 am

kay i thought you should know ..there is a feeling of joy at times but I don't know what joy is. i was trying to grasp what it is..it really feels like a lightness ...no it feels like, the word that comes up is subtle liberation kind of freedom and a detachment to situations ..Thank you.

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Re: What Am I?

Postby forgetmenot » Wed Jul 17, 2019 7:17 am

Hello Rubye,
Press a finger down onto the top of the ‘head’.
Notice what is actually present.
Is it a head, or is it just a sensation (labelled ‘pressure’) and thoughts ABOUT a head?
This was a sensation which in fact i label as pressure. And no noticeable thoughts about the head.
Lovely
Do the same with a finger on each side of the head.
Is a head actually found, or are there just sensations again?
And is there anything between the pressure points, or are there just thoughts about something being in between them
just sensations again
nothing between the pressure points. thoughts is it space between the pressure points. not sure just sensation, just sensation is the actual experience. and thought.
Yes, just sensation and thoughts about the sensation being a head etc. So can a head actually be found? And if not, then do thoughts appear in a head?
Without thought, how big is your head?
Without thought, does it have an inside or an outside?
Without thought, does it have a location?
without thought nothing comes up about a head. or an inside or outside, No there is no location .
Great! So you can see how thought overlays experience with stories that are just imaginary/fantasy?
Kay nothing came up yet about Guilt.
That’s okay…try it with some other emotion, there is always some emotion appearing in a day, be it fear, anxiety, anger, disappointment etc.
kay i thought you should know ..there is a feeling of joy at times but I don't know what joy is. i was trying to grasp what it is..it really feels like a lightness ...no it feels like, the word that comes up is subtle liberation kind of freedom and a detachment to situations ..Thank you.
Beautiful Rubye! You expressed it perfectly :) You have had a shift <3

You didn’t answer the following question, could you do so please.
" iam so excited i need take a walk" that's a thought too. (i don't take a walk i finish the excercise) all Arisng thoughts but there have been an sensation but thats a thought too??
This is where you will have to stop and actually LOOK, to see if there is an actual sensation appearing in the body. It is a good idea to start to see what is an actual body sensation and what is just a thought story.

For example, “I feel like a person”. Can that “feeling” actually be felt? If not, then it is just a thought/idea/concept.
If an actual sensation is felt, then it is AE of sensation, but is not AE of a person.
Would the sensation itself, suggest in any way that it is a person or knows anything about a person?
Can you see this?


I know you are doing your course...when you are ready, do the following exercise. Take your time and look carefully.

Please answer each question individually.

Sit quietly for about 30 minutes and notice the arising thoughts. Just let them appear as they appear. Try your best to COMPLETELY ignore what they are saying and just notice how they appear, without you doing anything at all.

Where are they coming from and going to?

Did you do anything to make a particular thought or thoughts appear?
Could you have done anything to make a different thought appear at that exact moment instead?
Can you predict your next thought?

Can you select from a range of thoughts to have only pleasant thoughts?
Can you choose not to have painful, negative or fearful thoughts?
Can you pick and choose any kind of thought?
Is it possible to prevent a thought from appearing?
Can you stop thinking a thought in the middle?

It seems that thought has some logical ordered appearance, but look carefully and just notice if there is an organised sequence. Or is it just another thought that says ‘these thoughts are in sequence’ or “they take content from previous thought”, or that "one thought follows another thought"?


With love,
Kay
Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.
https://freedomalreadyis.com/

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Re: What Am I?

Postby pear » Mon Jul 22, 2019 7:18 am

Would the sensation itself, suggest in any way that it is a person or knows anything about a person?
Can you see this?
Kay, I can see that the thought I feel like a person. Without an actual feeling felt, a sensation that is a thought. with a actual feeling a sensation then it is a AE of a sensation.
Sit quietly for about 30 minutes and notice the arising thoughts. Just let them appear as they appear. Try your best to COMPLETELY ignore what they are saying and just notice how they appear, without you doing anything at all.
Where are they coming from and going to?
they seem like they appear from no particular place. they just show up. an image of a ticker tape with thoughts in my imagination.
Could you have done anything to make a different thought appear at that exact moment instead?
no I could not by the time i notice them they were all ready in play.
Can you predict your next thought?
just letting them appear..I cannot know what the next thought is. just wait and see what comes up
Can you select from a range of thoughts to have only pleasant thoughts?
No there was no preview of the thoughts. there were gaps with no thoughts short gaps with no thoughts. I was noticing thoughts appear without any interference.
Can you choose not to have painful, negative or fearful thoughts?
The thought was so quick by the time i noticed it. But just letting them appear without doing anything i could not choose not to have a painful thought or negative or fearful thought. Well whats says they are fearful thought or negative thought? aren't they just thoughts without an sensation. they are just thoughts and without an AE experience now they are thoughts. I don't remember if i had any ..yes is did it was a thought about a thought no actual experience with sensations , but i am not sure now. Thoughts that came up were random not related to much of anything. thoughts like of what i wanted to write to you. I began writing them down and then I read the directions again which stated not do anything. I can't choose not to have a painful, negative or fearful thoughts!! I have no control over the thought arising.
Can you pick and choose any kind of thought?
No I can't pick and choose any kind of thought when noticing the arising thoughts.
Can you stop thinking a thought in the middle?
No I couldn't stop thinking a thought in the middle. This thought came up; Was i thinking these thoughts? I don't believe I was I was just noticing them not thinking them.
It seems that thought has some logical ordered appearance, but look carefully and just notice if there is an organised sequence. Or is it just another thought that says ‘these thoughts are in sequence’ or “they take content from previous thought”, or that "one thought follows another thought"?
I have to look a little more closely..a lot of the thoughts that came up were unrelated, nonsense thoughts they must have know i was noticing them haha. Some thoughts clearly seem like they were someone elses thoughts. But all types of thoughts..you name it came up. but i will notice more closely whether the sequential or taking content from previous thought.

Guilt came up and I know is nothing but a label but there was a feeling of disappointment (thought) and an sensation in my throat. That experience was very subtle. I am waiting for the next opportunity for it show up and I WILL get back with you on it.
thanks Kay with gratitude and love

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Re: What Am I?

Postby forgetmenot » Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:49 am

Hello Rubye,
Would the sensation itself, suggest in any way that it is a person or knows anything about a person?
Can you see this?
Kay, I can see that the thought I feel like a person. Without an actual feeling felt, a sensation that is a thought. with a actual feeling a sensation then it is a AE of a sensation.
Lovely! So thought will continue to say “I feel like a person”, but when you LOOK you can see it’s simply a thought. And when you LOOK to see if you can this person…you will see that there is no person to be found.
Sit quietly for about 30 minutes and notice the arising thoughts. Just let them appear as they appear. Try your best to COMPLETELY ignore what they are saying and just notice how they appear, without you doing anything at all.
Where are they coming from and going to?
they seem like they appear from no particular place. they just show up. an image of a ticker tape with thoughts in my imagination.
Nice observing of thoughts!
Could you have done anything to make a different thought appear at that exact moment instead?
no I could not by the time i notice them they were all ready in play.
Yes, exactly!
Can you predict your next thought?
just letting them appear..I cannot know what the next thought is. just wait and see what comes up
Just checking in here…are you suggesting that if you were not just letting thoughts appear, that you would be able to predict your next thought?
Can you select from a range of thoughts to have only pleasant thoughts?
No there was no preview of the thoughts. there were gaps with no thoughts short gaps with no thoughts. I was noticing thoughts appear without any interference.
Lovely, Rubye!
Can you choose not to have painful, negative or fearful thoughts?
The thought was so quick by the time i noticed it. But just letting them appear without doing anything i could not choose not to have a painful thought or negative or fearful thought. Well whats says they are fearful thought or negative thought? aren't they just thoughts without an sensation. they are just thoughts and without an AE experience now they are thoughts. I don't remember if i had any ..yes is did it was a thought about a thought no actual experience with sensations , but i am not sure now.
Nice pick up, Rubye! So it is only an appearing thought that suggests that a thought or sequence of thoughts are fearful, negative or painful. Without thought…how would this be known?
Thoughts that came up were random not related to much of anything. thoughts like of what i wanted to write to you. I began writing them down and then I read the directions again which stated not do anything. I can't choose not to have a painful, negative or fearful thoughts!! I have no control over the thought arising.
Wonderful and spot on observations!
Can you stop thinking a thought in the middle?
No I couldn't stop thinking a thought in the middle. This thought came up; Was i thinking these thoughts? I don't believe I was I was just noticing them not thinking them.
Nice! And where is a middle of a thought anyway? Where does one thought end and another begin?
It seems that thought has some logical ordered appearance, but look carefully and just notice if there is an organised sequence. Or is it just another thought that says ‘these thoughts are in sequence’ or “they take content from previous thought”, or that "one thought follows another thought"?
I have to look a little more closely..a lot of the thoughts that came up were unrelated, nonsense thoughts they must have know i was noticing them haha. Some thoughts clearly seem like they were someone elses thoughts. But all types of thoughts..you name it came up. but i will notice more closely whether the sequential or taking content from previous thought.
Yes, I would like to hear in your next post, if thoughts are sequential and ordered, or if it is only a thought that suggests this.

The following link is a 7 minute clip of a soccer game. If you prefer another sport…please feel free to find one to do this exercise with.

This exercise is to help you see that narrator of the game is no different to the narrator labelled as ‘my thoughts’, and that the game played is no different to life unfolding.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yy5pL-myDzw

1. Watch one minute with the sound turned OFF, watching ‘people’ messing about with a round thing on a field, up and down, up and down. Let it sink in and notice what the actual experience is.

2. Once the first minute is completed, now watch another whole minute with the commentary turned ON.

Notice the differences. Notice how the commentator (aka thought) offers lots of know-how and advice about what the players should or shouldn’t be doing and how they should be playing the game - as if thought can somehow influence what is going on - as though one outcome is much preferred to the opposite outcome. The commentary seems to heighten feelings, and calls for loyalty with one team or another, and expounds the importance of this choice, and further expounds the importance of the game and its outcome.

3. Now turn the volume OFF AGAIN and just watch the action with NO audible commentary. Just watch the shapes moving around on the screen etc. Just notice what is happening as actual experience.

4. Now turn the volume ON again and ignore what you think you know the commentator is talking about, (and ignore all of your own thoughts as well), and just notice the actual experience of sound.

Let me know how you felt when the sound was turned on. Did you get caught up in the moment with the excitement of the crowd, the excitement of the commentator and his commentary of the game?
How did you feel when the sound was off and there was no commentary at all.

Is the commentary on the football game a necessity for the play to happen?

And in the same way: is the inner narration of thought a necessity for the play of life to happen?


Love, Kay
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https://freedomalreadyis.com/

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Re: What Am I?

Postby pear » Thu Jul 25, 2019 6:43 pm

Yes, I would like to hear in your next post, if thoughts are sequential and ordered, or if it is only a thought that suggests this.
Hello Kay,
An experience came up and it was clear that the thought, which was a negative thought, as it continued, the next thought. Kay It can't remembered now but it was clear at the time. What seemed clear was the thought were separate thoughts but the next thought is a interpretation thought. does that make sense? Darn it is not remembered now it was so clear then and..well fuzzy at best now. who gives meaning to thoughts? thoughts do? thinking is just a bunch of thoughts and more thoughts, interpretive thoughts..and the body is programed to listen. this is so funny! this may not be true it is so funny and sounds ridiculous. and these are thoughts too. you just don't want to take thoughts serious MOST OF THE TIME. and who is you hehe.
a thought came up.." i don't know why i am laughing"...Kay Help

Last night I.was thinking I was anxious at work. of course i was staying late and my thoughts were it is getting late etc. I don't want to tell this story. but there was a feeling sensation of pain in my shoulder and pain in my head..some how i recognized that they were thoughts and it went away. Here's is want I am getting at...last night at work, i was talking like i was anxious by saying anxious thoughts about my vac tomorrow, and all this work, i will never get it done.. but there as a part of me that was calm and happy while i was doing it. i kept going back in words saying anxious words and then i would say i am happy to talk to you...the patients were okay...they knew..i did what I had to do for them. I did what i had to do and one patient said hurry up and go home in a loving way. they were the ones that needed the help and attention which i gave them. but my words at times didn't seem like that to me. the thought of GUILT came up..the next thought is i should have control my words around them...the sensation is thought tears, thought crying a welding up energy in my head in my eyes. Two experiences (thoughts) were happening. A detachment of thoughts as being my experience.

The thought guilt represents more thoughts about the past which is other thoughts. thoughts came first and the sensation.I sorry kay nothing is coming up now.
I am leaving a trip to calif. until monday coming home. will watch the video. I had planned to watch the video now. but this came up. How shall i contact you when schedule changes or things come up?

I am so grateful for this opportunity to do this with you Kay and with liberation unleashed. I am seeing subtle shifts daily. I am exited and dedication to this with you kay. Thanks much. Will get back to you. by tuesday or before.

Reading this over .... it is all a story most of it didn't happened..but there is profound realization..i want to erase it all.
blessing.

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Re: What Am I?

Postby forgetmenot » Thu Jul 25, 2019 11:52 pm

Hello Rubye,
I am so grateful for this opportunity to do this with you Kay and with liberation unleashed. I am seeing subtle shifts daily. I am exited and dedication to this with you kay. Thanks much. Will get back to you. by tuesday or before.


Really lovely to hear, Rubye, and I can see from what you wrote in your post that you are having shifts.
Reading this over .... it is all a story most of it didn't happened..but there is profound realization..i want to erase it all.
I don't understand why you would like to erase all the profound realisations. That is the whole point of wanting to realise that there is no separate self...and that happens via these profound realisations!
I am leaving a trip to calif. until monday coming home. will watch the video. I had planned to watch the video now. but this came up. How shall i contact you when schedule changes or things come up?
Just by dropping a quick post here on your thread.

Until I hear from you

with love, Kay
Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.
https://freedomalreadyis.com/

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pear
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Re: What Am I?

Postby pear » Wed Jul 31, 2019 7:23 am

Let me know how you felt when the sound was turned on. Did you get caught up in the moment with the excitement of the crowd, the excitement of the commentator and his commentary of the game?
How did you feel when the sound was off and there was no commentary at all.
The sound added more meaning and I was more attentive and engaged. I definitely felt more excited. With the commentary silent.. i was able to notice the actual experience..one might lose interest.
Is the commentary on the football game a necessity for the play to happen?
this is interesting. The commentary is NOT necessary for the play to happen.
And in the same way: is the inner narration of thought a necessity for the play of life to happen?
The inner narration of thought is not necessary for the play of life to happen. So what or who in the director? Life happens?
There was a time when I had felt my life was happening and it was strong feeling that I wasn't in control of my life. So I asked a couple of ACIM people, Who was controlling my life..they couldn't tell me. I thought it was a mystery maybe.
Just checking in here…are you suggesting that if you were not just letting thoughts appear, that you would be able to predict your next thought?
I can not predict my next thought.

Kay when i was saying "I wanted to erase it all" . I meant i wanted to erase my story telling. I WAS thinking my story telling is not what "I am supposed to be doing here" I know you will tell me when i am off subject.
blessings with love rubye

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forgetmenot
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Re: What Am I?

Postby forgetmenot » Wed Jul 31, 2019 8:47 am

Hello Rubye,
Let me know how you felt when the sound was turned on. Did you get caught up in the moment with the excitement of the crowd, the excitement of the commentator and his commentary of the game?
How did you feel when the sound was off and there was no commentary at all.
The sound added more meaning and I was more attentive and engaged. I definitely felt more excited. With the commentary silent.. i was able to notice the actual experience..one might lose interest.
Yes, exactly…nice observations! So, can you see how thought, like the commentator, does the same thing?
Is the commentary on the football game a necessity for the play to happen?
this is interesting. The commentary is NOT necessary for the play to happen.
Yes…the game continues, the same happens with life.
Start to notice your thoughts throughout your day, for the next few days and notice if thoughts are needed for ‘doing’ to happen. Let me know what you notice.
And in the same way: is the inner narration of thought a necessity for the play of life to happen?
The inner narration of thought is not necessary for the play of life to happen. So what or who in the director? Life happens?
Life goes on, including thoughts about life, and those thoughts are only commentary, not the driving force of life. Can you find a director/controller when you LOOK? If you LOOK right now, can you find a director in colour, thought, smell, taste, sound or sensation?
There was a time when I had felt my life was happening and it was strong feeling that I wasn't in control of my life. So I asked a couple of ACIM people, Who was controlling my life..they couldn't tell me. I thought it was a mystery maybe.
Yes, exactly…there is no knowing that…it is a mystery.

Now would be a good time then, to look at the idea of control, choice and decisions and to see whether thought is the catalyst for action/movement.

1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.
2. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.

Watch like a hawk.

Don't go to thoughts, examine the actual experience. Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire…

How is the movement controlled?
Does a thought control it?
Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?
How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.
Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

Kay when i was saying "I wanted to erase it all" . I meant i wanted to erase my story telling. I WAS thinking my story telling is not what "I am supposed to be doing here" I know you will tell me when i am off subject.
What exactly is it that wants to “erase my story telling”?
Are you the author/thinker of thought?
Can you predict what thoughts are going to appear and when?


Thought doesn't stop telling you that it's your car, your job, your body, your craving, your preference, your pain, your happiness, your this and your that. Why would thought stop saying something just because it's seen what thoughts are. It's never been any other way. So it is only an expectation that thought will suddenly change its tune or stop telling stories.

Love, Kay
Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.
https://freedomalreadyis.com/


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