Hey Vivien,
Any stumbling blocks? Well... Maybe just that the realisation of no-self in all experience doesn't feel "clear", or that it doesn't feel like it's had an effect (apart from the experience of suffering, where it certainly has). I think that really I just need to keep spending time looking for the self each time it arises so that all of "my experience" is "cleared out" and the arising of "self-ing" gets less and less common.
So does it matter what thought says?
Does it matter how much selfing thoughts are present or not?
What is it that wants the amount of selfing thought to decrease?
Does the selfing thoughts actually need to be decreased? Why? What for?
No, it doesn’t matter what thought says.
It only
seems to matter when thought it believed (which is fairly often – it’s not always “caught” early). But even then, it doesn’t
really matter.
Yeah, the only thing that would want selfing thoughts to decrease is another thought. There’s no “I” who cares either way. It’s not even that “I don’t care”, it’s that there’s nothing
to care. Nothing that attempts to manipulate anything.
Thought will continue to appear suggesting that there is a self and that there is subject/object split and that life is happening TO someone/something. Just because thought appears suggesting this…does it make it so?
No, definitely not. The only “issue” is believing in thought. But there’s no one for whom it’s an issue.
Is it “better” when thoughts about a self are seen to be false, rather than being believed? Or would wanting “more of that” only be expectation?
When you saw that Santa Claus was not real….did life change? Maybe some expectations subsided because you knew there was no Santa Claus who left presents under the tree. However, life went on. Christmas still comes and goes, Santa is still seen at Christmas time and gifts are still exchanged! Did thoughts about Christmas, Santa Claus etc disappear? No, they still appear. Is there a choice to whether or not they appear? No. Life continues on but is happening to no one. So why is the separate self any different to Santa?
I think the difference is belief in thought.
There was immediately no further belief in thoughts about Santa.
Whereas some of the thoughts about a self are still accidentally, or temporarily, believed. There are so many of them that it’s hard to catch and examine all of them, haha.
Radiant happiness? What does a state of a radiant happiness have to do with seeing that there is no self?
What is it exactly that expects to experience radiant happiness? – look for it
No, nothing, it was just a comment about previous expectations really :)
What is it wants to experience liberation?
Is there anything separate from experience that could experience liberation?
Is there anything separate from experience that could experience happiness?
Nothing – there’s no self to be liberated. Experience is already totally free. Anything arising is fine, and the only thing to say otherwise is a thought which contains a lie (“I don’t like this”) - the “I” being unreal / not referring to anything, and therefore the “not liking this” also being unreal. Experience is as it is – free flowing. Even the feeling of tension in the body (which was previously felt to be “wrong” or “unpleasant”) is just freely appearing, existing, and disappearing.
But what else are you looking for than seeing and knowing that there is no self in any shape or form?
Are you waiting for a state where there is no or much less thoughts about ‘me’?
Or what are you waiting and looking for?
And who is waiting and looking for more?
What is missing? And for who?
There’s not much missing now :) And it feels like it keep getting clearer every day. There only really seems to be one more question, which is about
belief in thoughts about self. Not that they’re still arising, but that many of them are still believed (until examined). So, the thoughts about self continue to arise, and they’re not a problem. They can continue to arise with whatever frequency – no one is bothered by the fact that they’re there.
But BELIEF in some of those thoughts still temporarily re-creates the delusion of being a self.
This delusion is factually and experientially known to be false, and upon examination is seen clearly to be false. But there are so many thoughts about self that many of them are just missed, or “slip through unnoticed”.
My question is: should I expect fewer and fewer of these thoughts to be
believed in? Or is the fact that many of them are still believed a non-issue? Should there still be a continued effort to investigate and examine thoughts, or is doing so actually keeping an expectation in place?
Even this doesn't really feel like an issue (there's no one for whom it would be a problem), yet the question still seems to want an answer.
Thanks Vivien,
Michael.