calloffthesearch

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Hendrik
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Joined: Tue May 07, 2019 4:29 pm

Re: calloffthesearch

Postby Hendrik » Sun Jun 30, 2019 8:12 pm

Hi Pop,

I definitely enjoy the inquiry and I am grateful for your pations.

... there was a little concern that you could loose temper with the way I(?) stand in the way...

I answer your questions in the next post.

Love + gratitude

Hendrik

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pop
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Joined: Tue Apr 09, 2013 11:09 pm

Re: calloffthesearch

Postby pop » Mon Jul 01, 2019 5:15 pm

Hi Hendrik,

... there was a little concern that you could loose temper with the way I(?) stand in the way...


Not at all. It is a pleasure and a privilege
I love doing this. Each person is different

You are nowhere near the longest if that is a concern?
But the time isn't important

Love as always

Pop

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Hendrik
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Re: calloffthesearch

Postby Hendrik » Tue Jul 02, 2019 6:44 pm

Dear Pop,

it was a good learning experience to read your last post because in the beginning I misunderstood the word "nowhere". I understood wrongly that I am at the upper end of duration of a guidance. That triggered all the nice thoughts of not being good enough, that was felt allowingly :-)
Then I understood the word right I had to laugh: all happened with thoughts like a machine and nothing had own substance.
Stay with the aliveness. *Feel* aliveness. No need to think what it is. It is formless so once you say it is seen and an experience you have moved from it. Aliveness is experience, not an experience.
Thank you, yes, this feels true. Aliveness cannot have a form.

It is soothing to feel aliveness.
Fear often happens as looking gets clearer.
One of the main emotions that seem to show up is that of fear.
Simply notice the emotion without any label and see if those emotions are felt by anyone, or are happening to anyone?
… it feels as if there was anyone, but there is no one. The sensations do not build a person.
Examine fear as a protective mechanism and investigate if there is actually anything there that can be harmed?
It feels as if the existence is threatened. But that is a thought. Existence is a thought too.

Love

Hendrik

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pop
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Re: calloffthesearch

Postby pop » Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:38 pm

Hey Hendrik!

Wow I'm glad you realised what the word meant! :)

It feels as if the existence is threatened. But that is a thought. Existence is a thought too.


Let's stay with this as it has come up more than once.
When you look into you immediate direct experience is there thought?
What is left when there is no thought in that moment?
This aliveness/existence, is it a thought or is it beyond, before, all around thought?
Do you think this aliveness could ever pass away like a thought?
Is existence a thought?


Love

Pop

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Hendrik
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Re: calloffthesearch

Postby Hendrik » Thu Jul 04, 2019 8:14 am

Hi Pop,

the "fear of loosing existence" is (just) a fear so I feel that there is a deeper existence that cannot dissolve even if not wanted things would occur.
When you look into you immediate direct experience is there thought?
No, thoughts "come" later.
What is left when there is no thought in that moment?
There is peace and a space like something that is everywhere.
This aliveness/existence, is it a thought or is it beyond, before, all around thought?
This something is not a thought, it has no form. Thoughts occour in that. Even though thoughts are "seen" - I could not tell how tall / small a thought is or how much space it consumes.
This presence is always "bigger" thant its content.
Do you think this aliveness could ever pass away like a thought?
I do not know what happens after death - but during my life this aliveness never went or passed away.
Hmmm.... when change/death happens every moment with all that is percieved then that "in" which it is perceived will stay. This something/presence will stay.
hmm... still this is a deductive process even if I (?) cannot find an I that is thinking.
Is existence a thought?
Existence is no thought, it just is.

Love
Hendrik

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pop
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Re: calloffthesearch

Postby pop » Thu Jul 04, 2019 9:48 am

Hi Hendrik

Ok great that's clear.


On June 26 you wrote:

It was felt that a feeling has two aspects: one is a pure sensation, the other one is a thought that claims something.

Here the feeling of "someone existing" has a sensation - that is similar to the sensation of the "I" thought - but the aspect that seems to relate or refer to a "me" is simply a thought. And this thought has no own life of itself, it "provides" a false assumption - which is made of thoughts itself.

There was a brief experiencing that there is nobody and that there cannot be somebody.
The sensation of the "I" thought stands on its own and the seemingly attached thought that "there is a someone" is just a thought - nothing else.

For a short moment there was no personality there, an empty space, I did not exist




Excellent.

The main anchor for this entire investigation is this direct experience: the moment to moment seamless Experiencing that without a doubt Is. Hearing, seeing, feeling, tasting, smelling and thought; and the unmistakable sensation of being alive/aware (presence/Being). So you have experienced this.

Take your time, establish yourself in direct experience and looking from here tell me:
What does "I" point to?


And remember there is no time pressure or expectations around this.
We just keep doing the looking.



Love


Pop

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pop
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Re: calloffthesearch

Postby pop » Fri Jul 05, 2019 3:12 pm

Hi Hendrik

I'm away for a week from tomorrow, Saturday, until the following Saturday, so i won't be available.

Feel free to post here anyway of you like.

Happy looking!

Love,

Pop

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Hendrik
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Re: calloffthesearch

Postby Hendrik » Fri Jul 05, 2019 3:56 pm

Hi Pop,

thank you for the info.

A good time to you :-)


... looking keeps definitely going.

Love

Hendrik

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Hendrik
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Re: calloffthesearch

Postby Hendrik » Fri Jul 05, 2019 6:50 pm

...

the first impulse was, that "I" points to nothing.

I will look further.

Love

Hendrtik

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Hendrik
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Re: calloffthesearch

Postby Hendrik » Sun Jul 07, 2019 12:26 pm

Dear Pop,

I did not express properly:

The first pereception was that "I" points to nowhere.

But that is not true: "I" does not point at all. It seems that it points, but it does not.
"I" is passive, it is seen. It does not point.

Love

Hendrik

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pop
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Re: calloffthesearch

Postby pop » Fri Jul 12, 2019 4:36 pm

Hi Hendrik


Nice to be back in touch.

"I" is passive, it is seen

What sees the "I"?

Love

Pop

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Hendrik
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Re: calloffthesearch

Postby Hendrik » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:50 pm

Dear Pop,

yes, great you´re back.

I do inquiry whenever possible: "Who feels this", "to whom does that occur", etc.

This I-feeling does not form an I, it is interpreted as such.
What sees the "I"?
Still I do not know: it is seen, so consciousness must see it - but that is an inference/conclusion and so a thought.

it is space in which it occours, it is as if space sees.

Still there is an "I"-feeling that accompanies that process - when I(?) inquire into that it changes into "energy" - then again: "who sees even that?"... then it it getting more spacious.

Love

Hendrik

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pop
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Re: calloffthesearch

Postby pop » Sun Jul 14, 2019 5:54 pm

Hi Henrik


Since you started this inquiry:

What has changed?
What hasn't changed?
What looks different?

What (not who) comes up when you ask "Is there an 'I'?"

Remember we just keep looking, no rush, no expectations

Peace + love,

Pop

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Hendrik
Posts: 88
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Re: calloffthesearch

Postby Hendrik » Sun Jul 14, 2019 6:30 pm

Hi Pop,

since the inquiry started:
What has changed?
There is much more alertness and the ability to loosen the grip on thought forms or emotions has developed more.
Energy in the body has changed due to the faster release of emotional distortions. Just sensing into the feeling that suggests that there is a body losing is constrictions. It is a bit like electrical bubbles - still that is seen. Not
Sometimes thoughts came up saying, well, to really change is only possible for people who have more time or are more dedicated (in early years I was more, now due to job... well) - but: there definitely is change, much deeper looking. And the more I really sense into sensations and thoughts the more transformation seemes to happen.
There is more joy and sometimes short periods of bliss like sensations... then after short time of enjoyment I ask myself again, ok, to whom does that occur...?
What hasn't changed?
There still is the sense of an "I" - but (this again is a change) I enquire more swiftly into the thought forms that suggest an "I". Sensations are felt more neutral.

What looks different?
Before there was a feeling of "it is not really possible...." - now, it definitely feels possible to let go of a seperate "I".

People look different: When I look into the eyes of a person there is a sensation or better "no sensation" of: there is no person really there.
Then the inquiry starts again: ok, what then is looking through my eyes? Is there a difference?

What (not who) comes up when you ask "Is there an 'I'?"
There is a sensation in the middle of the chest and/or throat or head - but there is more space around? and inside of that. There is more peace around that.

The "who" is transforming more into a sensation, so more into a "what".
Remember we just keep looking, no rush, no expectations.
Yes, that is a character trait:
- not being good enough.
- too slow.
- kicked out because not good enough.

But: When I trigger "myself" with that, then the emotions transform much quicker into sensations of bubbling energy or presence.

So: I am very grateful for our? Inquiry and your guidance!

Even though I wanto to go beyond progress, there is progress :-)

Love

Hendrik

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pop
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Re: calloffthesearch

Postby pop » Mon Jul 15, 2019 7:53 am

Hi Hendrik!

Great answers.


to really change is only possible for people who have more time or are more dedicated

This is not true, you just need an instant. One precise look at your experience.
And you will discover this too.


- not being good enough.
- too slow.
- kicked out because not good enough

There is no you to be good enough (or not) so when you see this all these thoughts will be meaningless!




Ok go out into nature and spend some time watching the movement of the whole. See how clouds move, trees swing, leaves wiggle, grass moves, insects, birds - all move all the time.

Then move focus to sensations and see how they too are in constant motion, thoughts come and go, sounds, colours, sensations come and go.

Notice that everything is part of one movement.

Then close your eyes and see if there is a line between you and out there, between you and life itself. If yes, where is the boundary?
Is there an inside and an outside of Life?
Is there something which is not included in the movement of the whole?
Is there a witness that is watching life happening from a distance?
Is witnessing part of the one movement too?
Is there anything which is not just happening?


There is a sensation in the middle of the chest

Is this sensation you?

Try this exercise:

What is a thought?

What is a sensation?

Does a sensation know anything about a thought?

Does a thought know what it is like to be a sensation?

What is it that seems to link a thought to a sensation?

Love

Pop


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