I feel an increasing gentling around the self/not-self definition. That duality still appears real to me, and yet perhaps I increasingly see how it doesn't serve me and is not inherently real, and am more willing for it to drop away. But 'I' don't need to make that happen. So 'I' is still here, and manages to go unquestioned for large periods when I'm 'doing' and 'deciding' and generally being in that 'agency' mode. In inquiry and meditation I don't seem to be finding the crux of it, don't seem to be consciously getting anywhere. But life is doing that work for me, gently eroding the untruths of self.
Somehow I can't get a grip on this. There are experiences that I label as less-self. But as you say, I can't see what I mean by that. Yet still I believe the thought.We need to be very clear what is meant by 'my-self' such that you seem to have declared its absence. What I mean is, this term and terms like it, are often used in a fuzzy way, and we say 'no self was found' for example, but are never quite clear as to what that means.