Realizing Truth

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Nicodemus
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Re: Realizing Truth

Postby Nicodemus » Mon Jul 15, 2019 3:54 pm

Hi Ilona. :)

As you suggested i stayed a couple of days with all this in mind.

The response to your question is no; there is no separation between anything that i perceive and the awareness of it.

I have an episode to describe to you, which happened yesterday, and reported to Roger:
During yesterday's meditation i had a shifting moment where i surrendered totally to God and to how things are. After that, i noticed the space where i am present, and felt detached. Whenever a memory charged with negativity appeared, i noticed that spaciousness, and just saw things as happening, nothing more than that. Then the attachments and feelings went away immediately.
I was also much more present, focused, aware, and calm.

I don't know if this way of being will last, i think not, and yesterday it was more intense. But i'm somewhat indifferent to it, at least less attached than i would be to any similar thing in the past.
I've also been rereading and remembering the Sutra you showed me.

:)

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Nicodemus
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Re: Realizing Truth

Postby Nicodemus » Mon Jul 15, 2019 4:59 pm

Now i feel a bit attached to detachment, LOL.

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Nicodemus
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Re: Realizing Truth

Postby Nicodemus » Mon Jul 15, 2019 6:33 pm

Another curious thing; i just took bath with cold water, and detachment made it all much easier. I didn't even had the usual reactions i have while doing it.

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Ilona
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Re: Realizing Truth

Postby Ilona » Tue Jul 16, 2019 6:08 pm

Thank you for sharing. How are you feeling today? Anything interesting to report?

You say there is no separation between awareness and content- great to notice that!
Is there a perceiver?

Love.
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Nicodemus
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Re: Realizing Truth

Postby Nicodemus » Tue Jul 16, 2019 7:21 pm

I'm feeling relatively well. Thanks. :)

I had a very intense dream last night where I ended up becoming a Buddha after some time of practicing a mindset of detachment. The dream then pointed out August or the end of that month, as the time to start a new phase in the path.

The mindstate of calmness and detachment faded a bit during today. But I can bring on the noticing of spaciousness and detachment when I feel like.

Regarding your question, yes, I still feel there is someone here, because there is awareness. I suppose this is a wrong view lol

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Ilona
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Re: Realizing Truth

Postby Ilona » Tue Jul 16, 2019 7:49 pm

And this awareness is it inside the body? Is it inside a container? Is it owned by you? How does it work in your understanding?
Is there my awareness and your awareness?

If you look at a bird or a tree, how many awarenesses are there?

In other way how many here and now are there?


Love
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Nicodemus
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Re: Realizing Truth

Postby Nicodemus » Tue Jul 16, 2019 8:49 pm

Well, I can't get rid of the idea that awareness is dependent on the brain and all occurs here, despite having heard of other theories. The fact that it is the scientific consensus (though not proven), and the fact that when my brain stops working I become unconscious, and when people have brain damage their awareness changes, makes me very attached to this idea.

I don't know anything beyond it or outside of it that could own it, if there is anything that owns it, I've never sensed it. Perhaps it is owned by a vaster awareness, an infinite one, unlike this one here, but I've never seen it, other than in my imagination, and it is a very vague imagination. But then, even that imagination of it is within the only awareness present lol.

I imagine an infinite number of awarenesses outside the only one present here from my perspective. But truth is that my imagination of them is always within this awareness. So, in the end, it may be that there is nothing existing other than this awareness (or simply awareness) and the things happening in it.

Wow this is deep. lol

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Nicodemus
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Re: Realizing Truth

Postby Nicodemus » Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:22 am

I'm back to the previous mentality of craving and immersion in the ego... As I imagined it is extremely difficult to change this...

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Ilona
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Re: Realizing Truth

Postby Ilona » Fri Jul 19, 2019 1:30 pm

Let’s look at the difference between what is real and what is imagined. Real is that which does not disappear when you stop imagining it. And imagination is fine, it’s a powerful tool. But when imaginary is taken for real is a problem. Watch this video and tell me, is I real or imaginary.

https://youtu.be/_w0wnR72604

Is separate self here or on mind screen?

Love.
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Nicodemus
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Re: Realizing Truth

Postby Nicodemus » Fri Jul 19, 2019 2:15 pm

After listening to the video, i thought for a while about what you said and ask...

Here i can only see physical things. If i focus on those, i forget about myself and all other things, things that exist but that i am not perceiving.
The I is a concept, but i am completely within that concept. It's the only thing i can control directly. This makes it seem very real. If i controlled everything, and was everywhere, then i would believe that i am not this guy over here...

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Ilona
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Re: Realizing Truth

Postby Ilona » Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:05 pm

You are not within a concept!
Check in actuality, here you are, aware. That is not a concept. Can you see?
Find the sense of being. Underneath all concepts.
That which you THINK YOU ARE is a concept. That which is simply is, unconceptual. Being is. Isness is. Aliveness is.
Look underneath all thoughts and here you are- aware being (verb)

Love.
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Nicodemus
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Re: Realizing Truth

Postby Nicodemus » Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:21 pm

For me, the experience of going beyond the thoughts and just noticing being, awareness, here and now, spaciousness, is not meaningful, pleasant, significant or deep, to be sincere, unlike what some people describe... I don't know if it's just me, or if i'm doing it wrong, though.

This awareness is not infinite from my experience. Event without thinking about concepts, i can see there are limitations. So, despite trying and wanting, i can't believe the I doesn't exist. My experience is that of making actions and receiving responses to those actions, i'm limited, i can't see the truth as being the opposite of that. I may try to believe intellectually, but in my heart, or deep in my mind, i can't...

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Ilona
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Re: Realizing Truth

Postby Ilona » Fri Jul 19, 2019 10:14 pm

This has nothing to do with believing. Nothing. You look in your experience until you know. If you are trying to find something to fit your belief system, that’s not going to work. It’s not about a better belief but rather seeing that no belief is truth. Truth is not conceptual.

Sound that you are having expectations and it’s not enough just being. So tell me honestly, what do you expect? What do you hope to happen? What do you want to happen? What you do not want this to be?

Make a list. Put everything down. And then some more.

Love
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book

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Nicodemus
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Re: Realizing Truth

Postby Nicodemus » Fri Jul 19, 2019 10:40 pm

Ok, i'll try to be a truthful with you and myself as possible.

I see all this as a possible stepping stone to a better experience of life, and as a means to another state of conciousness from which i can continue in the path with detachment, strength, freedom, by knowing all this is just a dream/movie, but still an interesting and fascinating one.

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Ilona
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Re: Realizing Truth

Postby Ilona » Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:36 pm

Please expand. What is better life for you? What kind of state are you expecting? Freedom from what? Detachment from what?

You already have an idea that this is just a dream/movie... you are trying to see this as that. What is here without this idea? Is there reality?

Expectations are in the way of seeing, so in your best interests is to wrtie each one of them down, in detail. Once you done that you can see what is in the way.

Love.
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com/book


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