Ending the constant searching

Welcome to the main forum. When you are ready to start a conversation, register and once your application is processed a guide will come to talk to you.
This is one-on-one style forum, one thread per green member.
Trinidiana
Posts: 287
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 10:22 am

Re: Ending the constant searching

Postby Trinidiana » Fri Feb 01, 2019 2:42 am

HI Vince
I like that,yeah lets just walk and see where our feet take us!
I know, it’s always getting back to what is happening NOW,so one foot in fron the other.

The story that comes to mind is that it makes sense, like taking it one day at a time. Yet harder to do practically but the days that I am say pretty busy and productive like today and I also went and volunteered with the horses and now I just cooked and now I am writing to you, well, honestly everything’s ok, and I forget myself.

Always in the back of my mind is financial worries, but it is what it is for now.

I like the idea of focusing on what is happening now, because ultimately that really is all there is!


Ok, talk soon
Love Diana

User avatar
vinceschubert
Posts: 4098
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2011 11:02 am
Location: Australia
Contact:

Re: Ending the constant searching

Postby vinceschubert » Fri Feb 01, 2019 10:21 pm

Good morning Diana,
taking it one day at a time. Yet harder to do practically
Ha, my story is that this is the nub for you. You hold yourself to such a high, impossible standard that you are certain to fail.
Being awake isn't about any finished product. It's much more about having the tools and the opportunity to use them.
and I forget myself.
Yes, this is an important point.
If we take the words literally, then they imply that there is a self to forget.
In the experience of that 'state', is there a lot of 'selfing' happening. That is can you recollect stories that solidify the existence of a self ?
...or when you forget yourself, is it that you are fully immersed in what you are doing ? and the only stories are about that ?

with love

vince

Trinidiana
Posts: 287
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 10:22 am

Re: Ending the constant searching

Postby Trinidiana » Sun Feb 03, 2019 2:19 am

Hi Vince

I was interested and surprised to hear you say that i hold myself to an impossibly high standard, i don’t think of myself like that and feel i fall far short in terms of what my life might have been or even in my feelings that i could do more in so many areas, this was kind of comforting at a level, also makes me think, even in writing this i get that i actually do hold myself to a standard, just didn’t know it was impossibly high, i read about others and think wow! So you’re saying that i should take one day at a time riight?

Ha ha yes , very true and i didn’t pick up on it, that I was implying that there is a self to forget. It’s not really like that, it’s just i meant self as thought construct of the mind , which really is just a bunch of thoughts, is not engaged in when i am busy, I guess that’s what I meant.

So, when I am I am engrossed in things, there is no selfing at all. I mean this probably happens just for very short periods of time before the mind will chime in with thoughts and stories and such, but in those moments when I am just doing things, I forget that I have a self, which i actually really don’t, and it’s very freeing. it really is more life lifeing

Then of course the mind comes in to say that I have so much more to do, and that I just got caught up in things but really I should be focusing on so much more.

It’s almost a paradox to me that we talk about being mindful and that how it’s kind of a loss that we eat and we don’t realise it and we drive and don’t know it, that there’s so many unconscious things happening, yet a lot of the time it’s at these moments that selling isn’t taking place, do you see what i mean about the paradox ..

Love
Diana

Trinidiana
Posts: 287
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 10:22 am

Re: Ending the constant searching

Postby Trinidiana » Sun Feb 03, 2019 2:19 am

Hi Vince

I was interested and surprised to hear you say that i hold myself to an impossibly high standard, i don’t think of myself like that and feel i fall far short in terms of what my life might have been or even in my feelings that i could do more in so many areas, this was kind of comforting at a level, also makes me think, even in writing this i get that i actually do hold myself to a standard, just didn’t know it was impossibly high, i read about others and think wow! So you’re saying that i should take one day at a time riight?

Ha ha yes , very true and i didn’t pick up on it, that I was implying that there is a self to forget. It’s not really like that, it’s just i meant self as thought construct of the mind , which really is just a bunch of thoughts, is not engaged in when i am busy, I guess that’s what I meant.

So, when I am I am engrossed in things, there is no selfing at all. I mean this probably happens just for very short periods of time before the mind will chime in with thoughts and stories and such, but in those moments when I am just doing things, I forget that I have a self, which i actually really don’t, and it’s very freeing. it really is more life lifeing

Then of course the mind comes in to say that I have so much more to do, and that I just got caught up in things but really I should be focusing on so much more.

It’s almost a paradox to me that we talk about being mindful and that how it’s kind of a loss that we eat and we don’t realise it and we drive and don’t know it, that there’s so many unconscious things happening, yet a lot of the time it’s at these moments that selling isn’t taking place, do you see what i mean about the paradox ..

Love
Diana

User avatar
vinceschubert
Posts: 4098
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2011 11:02 am
Location: Australia
Contact:

Re: Ending the constant searching

Postby vinceschubert » Thu Feb 21, 2019 1:41 pm

Hey Diana, i'm really sorry about this. i just discovered your last post. When i didn't get an email notification that you had posted, i thought that you hadn't replied.
i was just looking for something in the archives (on the forum) when i noticed a notification that you had posted.
..anyway...
that i hold myself to an impossibly high standard, i don’t think of myself like that and feel i fall far short in terms of what my life might have been or even in my feelings that i could do more in so many areas,
Yes, "falling short" is another way to say that you don't measure up (to a standard).
So, what would it take for you to accept the 'less than' (that standard) ?
Would that 'less than', be the actual ?
If you accept the actual, would that mean that you won't strive to be better ?
If THIS is not up to scratch, then what would be ?
It’s almost a paradox to me that we talk about being mindful and that how it’s kind of a loss that we eat and we don’t realise it and we drive and don’t know it, that there’s so many unconscious things happening,
Yes. i've noticed that paradox. There's no selfing when we unconsciously act with certain things, but total selfing when we act out an identity.
Using eating as an example, can you come up with some pros and some cons for both mindless eating and mindful eating ?

with love

vince

Trinidiana
Posts: 287
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 10:22 am

Re: Ending the constant searching

Postby Trinidiana » Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:09 pm

Hi VInce, Yes I check every day, but thought you must be very busy with your move, its all good,but I went “YAAAAAAY” when I saw you replied!! A big Yay!

I am not sure what it would take for me to not be so hard on myself or for some standard to change, just for my perception to change really! Who cares about standards anyway? It’s all in the mind, all a story from conditioning. The so called less than would be the actual obviously. It already is. I think that if I really accept the actual, its not even about striving , its just what IS. How I can think that THIS is not up to scratch, its so obvious when you put it like this. Thanks Vince.

It really a paradox isnt it. No selfing when we unconsciously act with certain things! Maybe this is a just how animals are, they dont need to be mindful and be like super self consciously aware and its totally fine with them. Imagine a horse or dog going ‘Now I am being brushed,let me enjoy the moment, I am so lucky next to other dogs/horses.” So so silly, they dont waste energy on this rubbish!

OK, regarding Eating, pros and cons:
Mindful: Pros: really taste the food, slows you down which is good for digestion, can help enhance the feeling of appreciation and be noticing the amazing experience of eating, also appreciation for the food , the cook, etc, how many people dont get a good meal , all these things can be useful, especially if one has never really thought about these things.
Cons: can be contrived, takes us maybe too much into our heads, not really necessary, can become another mindless ritual, we could then have guilt when we dont eat mindfully, how silly is this all ! Probably why children never get the whole There are starving people in Africa talk that parents can give

Mindless: Pros: Amazing ability of the body to just do what it knows how to do without thinking, get nutrition from the food regardless.Another automatic amazing process like breathing. Not having to overthink how to chew, digest etc.
Cons: Can be totally in the head and miss the moment, just a rote activity, might tend to rush which is not good for you, lack of appreciation for what goes into food. Could lead to very unhealthy eating practices.

So good to hear from you Vince, hope all is well with you and that you are settling and enjoying your lovely home! Still creating a story where I come visit you, any pics of koalas that you ever saw in the wild would be very welcomed lol., of kangaroos!!!
Love
Diana

User avatar
vinceschubert
Posts: 4098
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2011 11:02 am
Location: Australia
Contact:

Re: Ending the constant searching

Postby vinceschubert » Fri Feb 22, 2019 1:49 am

Good morning Diana,
I went “YAAAAAAY” when I saw you replied!! A big Yay!
Ah great. (i went YAAAAAAY when i say how you responded.)
Who cares about standards anyway? It’s all in the mind, all a story from conditioning.
Yes, so the mind says..
Can you locate a feeling in the body (probably discomfort of some kind) that happens when a story arises that you could have done better ? (look for a recent example)
i imagine that it's the 'split' between how we think we are (or how we think that we ought to be) and the way our conditioned responses are, that is responsible for a lot of stress hormone being activated.
Maybe this is a just how animals are,
My guess is because they don't think verbally, that they don't develop a self story about how they ought to be.
Because we humans have, and it can never be undone, our only option is to make the whole thing conscious.
The best route to this is to pay attention to the body. To become more sensitive to it's signals and better at interpreting them. ..and better at responding to them.
Beware of opinions (judgements) They happen, so we need to develop an acceptable opinion about our opinions.
Bemusement is a good one. About the fact that they happen and their contents.
Pay particular attention to the existence of opinions between now and when you next post. List some that happen.

love

vince

Trinidiana
Posts: 287
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 10:22 am

Re: Ending the constant searching

Postby Trinidiana » Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:50 am

hi Vince
yes interesting , the mind commenting on the mind, it’s almost impossible to get away from it, if you notice the stories, it’s still the mind noticing it, or is it? Like how you talk about catching yourself and laughing, what’s it that catches the stories?

I think overall the feelings in the body for me are contraction and tensions, for me it tends to be neck and jaw. And shoulders too, i will keep checking though.

What you say about how animals don’t think verbally and thus not creating stories makes sense, language really really shApes us,more than we know or realize And is so limiting .

I think for most humans this lack of self worth and being hard on oneself is so prevalent, they say the DaLai Lama was so schooled that self hatred was so prevalent in the West , not sure if that’s a true story, i see it so much even with children, one little girl the other day when i was with the horses, was being asked a couple questions, like simple ones, about animals starting with a particular letter and said she said felt so much pressure, i could see her little ego being bruised and wanting so badly to be correct and not wrong, also with little boys being so conpletitive, it’s really sad , of course as we get older we don’t care so much how we look to others but it’s still there big time. makes sense what you say about the body, i notice I’m tense a lot. I thought it was cool that the little girl had that self awareness though to recognize that.

Just to me sure , though rereading your post, I.m almost positive, but do you mean when noticing opinions and judgements MY opinions and judgements on others , or do you mean on myself , and are we talking both positive and negative, meaning approving or disapproving, just want to get tat clear before i continue..


Thanks Vince
love diana

User avatar
vinceschubert
Posts: 4098
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2011 11:02 am
Location: Australia
Contact:

Re: Ending the constant searching

Postby vinceschubert » Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:21 pm

Good evening Diana,
what’s it that catches the stories?
Who knows ! i certainly don't.
If it is a "who" or a what that notices. Language says that there has to be, but is it right ?
What do you come up with if you describe what happens when noticing occurs ?
Can you locate a feeling in the body (probably discomfort of some kind) that happens when a story arises that you could have done better ?
I think overall the feelings in the body for me are contraction and tensions, for me it tends to be neck and jaw. And shoulders too, i will keep checking though.
A contraction of the neck sounds like "pull your head in". Did you have that saying when you were a kid ?
Tension in the jaw sounds like "bite your tongue". What does that saying refer to ?
language really really shApes us,more than we know or realize And is so limiting .
Yes, big time shaping.
Give me a rant on "limiting".
i could see her little ego being bruised and wanting so badly to be correct and not wrong,
Can you relate to this from your childhood ?
MY opinions and judgements on others , or do you mean on myself
They are the same.
You might discover opinions by working back from stress/tension. If that appears, then look for the story that is behind it and see if there are any resident opinions/judgements.

love

vince

Trinidiana
Posts: 287
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 10:22 am

Re: Ending the constant searching

Postby Trinidiana » Sat Mar 02, 2019 10:24 pm

Hi Vince,
Sorry for the delay! Cant use quotes today cause iPad not allowing me to copy and paste for some reason....

I dont know what catches the stories either, its not definable, if one says the ‘observer’, this leads to a whole new problem where it sounds like it’san entitity, are there layers upon layers of entities, clearly not, so I think that language says there has to be cause that’s how language works but it’s NOT right.

Sometimes catching a story feels like it just happens and then thoughts and language describe this too, like telling yourself That’s a story, for example, when i catch myself thinking something ridiculous or worst case scenario-ish, I notice this and mentally say “That’s a story that’s NOT going to happen”. I think the actual noticing cannot be described,it’s a mystery. A wonderful mystery really.

I didnt have the ‘pull your head in saying’ when I was a kid, never heard that one before. ‘Bite your tongue’ for sure, I also recognize that I tend to not speak my mind enough, always have because shyness, fear of approval all that stuff. Fear of being judged. Not wanting to offend etc.

Regarding the little girl, yes I could totally totally relate to this from my childhood, maybe that’swhy I have so much empathy when I see this all around me. SOmetimes I feel frustration too when I see people and my own need to be right when its so pointless. Pride is all wrapped up in this just as much as the need for approval. So when you dont get the approval, everything gets bruised. It’s like people are conintually trying to have their egos stroked, and comparing oneself to others constantly , its exhausting.

I will give you my rant on limiting in the next post. ANd will continue with opinions and judgements on myself and others, Have some Trinis in town this weekend till Wednesday

hope you are enjoying your new home. Seen any koalas recently lol?
Love
Diana

User avatar
vinceschubert
Posts: 4098
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2011 11:02 am
Location: Australia
Contact:

Re: Ending the constant searching

Postby vinceschubert » Mon Mar 04, 2019 11:00 am

Good evening Diana,
Have some Trinis in town this weekend till Wednesday
No worries, no hurry. (though, i'll bet that there's a story that says "the sooner the better" (to end this suffering))
I think the actual noticing cannot be described,it’s a mystery. A wonderful mystery really.
Yes. So much in life is a mystery. Do you find it freeing to not need an explanation. To just accept the mystery. To enjoy the wonder of it ?
so I think that language says there has to be cause that’s how language works but it’s NOT right.
Great. So, can you allow the question and feel no pressure to find an answer ?
I didn't have the ‘pull your head in saying’ when I was a kid,
It meant to keep your opinion to yourself. Don't say anything. ..a bit the same as "bite your tongue".
I think overall the feelings in the body for me are contraction and tensions, for me it tends to be neck and jaw.
I also recognize that I tend to not speak my mind enough,
Do you think that the body may be echoing the little girls imperative ? (with the neck and jaw contractions/tension)
I will give you my rant on limiting in the next post. ANd will continue with opinions and judgements on myself and others,
i look forward to it.

with love

vince

Trinidiana
Posts: 287
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 10:22 am

Re: Ending the constant searching

Postby Trinidiana » Tue Mar 12, 2019 11:09 pm

HI Vince,
No worries, no hurry. (though, i'll bet that there's a story that says "the sooner the better" (to end this suffering))
Yes there is that story much of the time, also there is a story that I may never get this.
Yes. So much in life is a mystery. Do you find it freeing to not need an explanation. To just accept the mystery. To enjoy the wonder of it ?
Yes , I DEFINITELY DO find it freeing NOT to need an explanation and to just accept the mystery of it. And much of the time I can enjoy the wonder of it and NOT knowing is ok. Of course there are the mysteries that are hard to enjoy , the challenging and painful mysteries but I am able to recognize these too more and more. Even the world situations like climate change and having a madman as the leader of the free world type stuff. I feel that my conditioning is breaking down to a degree, the scary aspects of survival here are still there big time and those are hard to accept as a mystery and resistance and wanting them to change comes up. But I am trying to notice when it does come up .
Great. So, can you allow the question and feel no pressure to find an answer ?
Yes Just like with the last response about the mystery and accepting it, so too can a question be allowed without any pressure to find an answer. There are many many things in life to which there are no answers. And tha'ts ok.
It meant to keep your opinion to yourself. Don't say anything. ..a bit the same as "bite your tongue".
Yes Yes Yes , how much of this are we taught as children, to keep opinions to ourselves. I know for sure I have problems speaking up. I also have clear memories of being told when I was little that I was showing attitude and defiance and being rude with some things and I remember feeling so misunderstood because I was not trying to be, but trying to express my opinion. My parents would tell me that it was rude to put my hands on my hips and I was bemused since I wasn't even aware of it. Or why it was rude. I remember distinctly too that as a young teenager, my Mum had this cousin, a man, who came to visit us from England and I DID not like him one bit, I thought he was phony and gave me the creeps. Apparently Mum said I showed my feelings and was very upset with me. Again I was rude. Ah, These conditionings of life. The human life is mostly unhappy because we are so conditioned and brainwashed from young not to be ourselves. SO we live for approval. And in our thoughts in my opinion. Thats why people are drawn to little children and animals, they're pure and innocent and honest .
Do you think that the body may be echoing the little girls imperative ? (with the neck and jaw contractions/tension)
Yes I am convinced that my excessive tensions and contractions are from repressed feelings and words. See paragraph above lol. Conditionings, emotions. I wish I could get past this unnecessary tension. Let it go. Ha as I write this , I wonder if the Let it Go doing from Frozen resonated with som many people, both genders and old and young because we recognize that there is such an innate need to let it go! "Conceal , don't feel, dont let them know" The words say we are told this and the song is about 'not caring" any more. So good! You do know it right?

I don't feel much in the mood right now to give a rant on language and its limitations, I will if you really want me to, But I feel like we are probably on the same wavelength here. Language is so limiting in so many ways. The main things that come to mind are that it is extremely inaccurate, or near impossible to describe things properly, the typical examples of trying to explain a color to a blind man, or the taste of a ripe mango to one who has never eaten one, we know that the words are purely pointers and cannot do justice to the experience. Also the duality of language and that there always needs to be subject object becomes a problem. Everything is relative to something else. And finally language actually shapes our thinking in so many ways, thats why different cultures will actually 'think' differently . It influences thoughts. And it clouds raw experience, the famous Krishnamurti teaching about how once we teach a child a label, for example leaf or tree, whilst it may be necessary for daily life, it takes so much away. Why a disservice. Its now a label and the child tends to see all leaves and trees as just that, the labels, instead of the inherent beauty and uniqueness in every single leaf and tree. This applies to everything of course. The mind is all language. Thoughts are all language. Wow, So not really a rant! WE could go on for hours about this I think.

Been trying to notice judgements on myself and others, many many are on myself and not having enough compassion , although I care for so many others, the mind is way prone to judgements and opinions big time. I have been trying to notice judgements on my husband in particular .

Well I will continue with that part in another post as this is getting kind of long

Hope all is well


Love
Diana

User avatar
vinceschubert
Posts: 4098
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2011 11:02 am
Location: Australia
Contact:

Re: Ending the constant searching

Postby vinceschubert » Wed Mar 13, 2019 1:12 am

Good morning Diana,Oh wow, my heart leapt and the thought arose that you are so close. This happened because there is a change of tone in your post. It is much 'lighter'. (not really the right word)
Of course there are the mysteries that are hard to enjoy , the challenging and painful..
This may well be the key (to a portal).
Only someone with brain damage would enjoy everything that life presents.
..but what is the difference between pain (emotional or physical) and suffering ?
Could you describe the suffering as the agonizing over the pain ?
Could you describe the agonizing as the constant engaging with stories about the pain.
When pain is experienced, can there also be an appreciation of the peace that is the foundation of all experiencing ?
Is it possible to engage with stories about the pain at the same time as engaging with the feeling of foundational calm ?
Could engaging with the equanimity that constantly exists beneath the troubles waters be a way of disengaging with the stories that induce the agony of suffering ?

So, an invoice arrives.
There is a sinking feeling in the stomach.
A story arises. "How can we afford this ?"
A thought arises. "Remember the equanimity.."
Experiencing a longer exhalation. A dropping of the shoulders. A feeling of calm.
Noticing the due date happens.
An intention to process the management of this with the others occurs.
A story arises. "Woe is us..."
A thought arises. "Remember the equanimity.."
Experiencing a longer exhalation. A dropping of the shoulders. A feeling of calm.
A thought arises. "Mulling over this repeatedly isn't going to help. It can be processes unconsciously until action is required."
Experiencing a feeling of appreciation for what a lovely day this is...

with much love

vince

Trinidiana
Posts: 287
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 10:22 am

Re: Ending the constant searching

Postby Trinidiana » Wed Mar 20, 2019 4:35 pm

My Gosh It feels like only days have passed yet I see it’s been nearly a week. A lot has happened in the last week , in the worldly sense. Won’t bother to get into it.

I was happy when I read you say that I am so close. All I can say is I hope so. I flit between moments of being ‘lighter’ and a lot of dread and anxiety.

My portal probably is indeed the challenging mysteries since this is what life seems to have been presenting over the last six years. Ha ha, smile, yes , only someone with brain damage would enjoy EVERYTHING life presents. Enjoyment is an emotion that comes and goes like all the others.

Suffering IS just what you say, agonizing over the pain, not accepting it, wanting it to be different and mostly causing a STORY about it. ITs like there’s a feeling and then thoughts capture it and create a story and then it becomes a painful EMOTION. This works both ways, pleasurable ones too are still stories when they get captured.

WHen just seen as scenery passing by, there is not the constant engaging and agonizing. It’s amazing to see it all play out in oneself and others.

Yes , when pain is experienced, there CAN be an appreciation of the peace that is the foundation of all experienceing, sometimes this is forgotten or ignored or missed though.

Yes , it is possible to engage with the stories about the pain art the same time as engaging with the feeling of foundational calm, this is EXACTLY what I find happening in life right now. Maybe its tipped to the pain side right now though. Another way to help with feeling equanimity is noticing triggers we have talked about in other posts, like the sounds of birds, breeze and the myriad of others we mentioned. That helps a lot.

Yes It can be a way of disengaging with the stories that induce the agony of suffering, though sometimes I wonder if I dont avoid and repress by disengaging. Or procrastinate. Or numb myself. What do you think?

I liked your description of remembering the equanimity while going through a stressful situation. I think that I do this , but as I mentioned above, sometimes I feel that the intent to divert to the unconscious is helpful and makes a lot of sense until action is required, but sometimes it feels like repression and there is this niggling anxiety that underlies everything, a current that then still blocks the equanimity or peace. Like I’m avoiding the feeling I guess. It seems that if I put aside the thoughts, its like I’m putting aside the feelings too, I cant separate them, hmmm.

Thankfully I CAN feel the appreciation for the many moments, like the ‘what a lovely day it is feeling”.

Right now for me it seems that this is what life is like big time, the pain, and then I may remember the equanimity, or not ‘trying to remember ’ but noticing when it isn’t there. Accepting feelings, accepting resistance. Having the intention to remember.

My hsuband’s energy is understandably through the roof tense and hyper, it’s his nature to begin with , and with the stress in our life especially his, its over the top. I find it very draining even talking on the phone to him, I actually feel it and it drains me and makes me nervous. This is a problem right now. The sensitivity to his energy creates intense frustration with me and thus its hard to keep my cool

Well, thats it for now

Thanks so much for that reply, it was truly very helpful. I am going to try to use the remember the equanimity thing over the next few days. Make it my mantra. Maybe, well I will intend to anyway. Ok, intend it , right now !

Love
Diana

User avatar
vinceschubert
Posts: 4098
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2011 11:02 am
Location: Australia
Contact:

Re: Ending the constant searching

Postby vinceschubert » Sat Mar 23, 2019 1:05 am

Good morning Diana,
I was happy when I read you say that I am so close. All I can say is I hope so. I flit between moments of being ‘lighter’ and a lot of dread and anxiety.
Here's the thing. Do you think that when you are awake that you won't experience the dread and anxiety ?
What you are seeking is THAT. ..but what you have is THIS.
When you wake up, you will recognize that THAT is a story, and THIS is actual.
Can you control THIS ?
Will wishing for THAT make THIS better ?
If, as the buddha reputedly said, that desire is the root of all suffering....
Is it mandated that you can only bring a sense of resignation to a total acceptance of THIS ?
..or is it possible to bring a sense of discovery to an as yet unexplored welcoming surrender to THIS ?
Will you discover that the mixture of pain and suffering was masking how short lived the pain could be ?

If you remember that apart from a very fleeting direct experiencing, that all experiencing is born of story, what does it take to become a better story teller ? ..and then what does it take to believe those stories ? What does it take for those stories to be credible ?
sometimes I wonder if I don't avoid and repress by disengaging. Or procrastinate. Or numb myself. What do you think?
i think that it would take denial to avoid and repress.
Numbing though, hmmm. An interesting investigation could happen here. Can you have the experience and examine it without changing it ?
My husband’s energy is understandably through the roof tense and hyper, it’s his nature to begin with , and with the stress in our life especially his, its over the top. I find it very draining even talking on the phone to him, I actually feel it and it drains me and makes me nervous. This is a problem right now. The sensitivity to his energy creates intense frustration with me and thus its hard to keep my cool
Do you feel the need to fix it for him ? ..and then frustration because you can't ? ..and then anger ? and then depression at the hopelessness of the whole thing ?
...and whatever it is, is it THIS ?

with love and compassion

vince


Return to “THE GATE”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests