I don't feel like my life is preprogrammed. I can sense there is no 'doer' and my choices are not coming from some centralised 'me'. But it still feels like there is some free will.How does this make you feel? Knowing that you never took and choice and never will. That you are a "victim" (using that word just for emphasis) of fate. Might be that our entire existence is preprogrammed. Right? Maybe we don't even exist and are a sort of computer program watching a never ending movie and thinking we are one of the characters.
All this might be true or not. But would you be ok with any of the scenarios or are there any reactions going inside of you?
The scenario you suggest, I would be okay with, except for one big objection. Accepting it would mean that trying to change the world for the better. People are just automatons, their agency is an illusion. Therefore we have no choice but to accept things as they are. This passivity is unacceptable for me. Even if the self is illusory, there are many other 'illusory selves' that would love to exploit people even more when they become this passive.
1. I'll look at this more. Feelings all seem personal from one angle and are just bare sensations from another. I'll look more at how I identify with different ones.There might be several reasons for that.
1. There are still things you identify with and this inquiry will bring them out to light eventually. If there's anything you can think of that seems "personal" do let me know.
2. It might look unbelievable at first after so many years of reading spirituality books and meditations that promised all sorts of stuff but didn't deliver to find a method that actually works. I myself was a bit sceptic at first. I kept telling my guide to ask me more questions and give me more pointers just to be sure I wasn't deluding myself lol.
3. Your mind keeps trying to "understand" this seeing and conceptualize it and it can't because one can only see what is while the mind lives in past and future. The mind thinks in terms of survival and benefits and there are really no such benefits in our work here. Well, there are but not the sort that would help the mind in anyway. On the contrary...
Either way, DE is the way to go. Any doubt you have on any topic, put that topic under scrutiny.
2. There are some of those kinds of doubts. This seems to be too good to be true. Why isn't this more popular? For millennia people have meditated and lived austere lives and for decades for a glimpse of this reality. Surely this can't be talking about the same insights. But I trust the process enough to keep on doing it.
3. Yes. I have a habit of trying to categorise my experiences in some spiritual or metaphysical framework from some book or another. But this doesn't offer any clarity.
I'm still getting used to the idea in day to day life. Whenever I look at intentions/thoughts arising, I don't choose the intentions. Things just arise and cause other things. Even if I intend to control my thinking in some way, that intention just arises.Are you positive? No doubts here?
And another thing. In DE, is there a watcher separate from the seen?
Sometimes it feels like there is just the seen/felt. But most of the time there is a distance, like whatever happens (even within the body) is 'out there' and I'm seeing it/processing it 'in here' - I look at where this 'in here' is and I can't locate it.