Anyone new can begin here

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alexnas
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Re: Anyone new can begin here

Postby alexnas » Tue Feb 28, 2012 6:38 pm

Dear Elizabeth,
I felt in a fog again about life perception.
In my best state I feel and know without a shadow of doubt, that (I) AM = I AM ALONE = AMness IS. Last three phrases reflect the transformation during perception of this truth.
WOW! (Now I found another one thing and also it was as though during answer writing!?)
It seems that my answer will be wrong, and it may not fit for your expectation, but it IS.
I AM = AM. This is a TRUTH. I AM nothing. And I AM everything in the same time. The AMness can’t percept itself. But AM percepts constantly changing everything, which is obviously illusive.
Thus everything “I see” – moving hand, walking body, running children etc - are illusion. And illusion is. It’s like a movie. The movie IS and in the same time it is illusion.
The only thing I know exist is (I)AM. And it is eternal and unchangeable.

Much love,
Alexander

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Elizabeth
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Re: Anyone new can begin here

Postby Elizabeth » Tue Feb 28, 2012 10:23 pm

Hi Alexander,
Sounds pretty close, just a little more.
Keep writing it down, it really does seem to unfold as the words flow. Don't hold anything back, don't censor, just rant. What is this? All of it? Pour it out!

Much love.

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alexnas
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Re: Anyone new can begin here

Postby alexnas » Wed Feb 29, 2012 2:44 pm

Dear Elizabeth,
Honestly I don’t know what to write. But Ilona instructed her partners, that they have to send messages regularly, not rarely once a day.
Today my state has been balanced. I am calm. I couldn’t say that there are no thoughts. But they don’t disturb me. I would to say that I began to worry that I have nothing to report you.
Sinking into abyss of “self” became much more slow. It seems I gradually lose interest in doing something on the spiritual way.
You said that all I do is fine. I try to follow thoroughly your recommendations.
I have no any material to write about. And also I try to write without special thinking about this theme during the writing. Otherwise I could switch on mental function and it would follow to new stream of thoughts.
At the same time I feel powerful need to energize the process. Is it right? And if it is how can I stimulate the inner alteration?
Much love, Alexander

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Elizabeth
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Re: Anyone new can begin here

Postby Elizabeth » Wed Feb 29, 2012 4:00 pm

Alexander,
In the I AM, is the I optional, conditional ,or absent?
Please look very closely and tell me how you see the I. Does it exist?

Much love, Elizabeth

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alexnas
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Re: Anyone new can begin here

Postby alexnas » Wed Feb 29, 2012 7:01 pm

Dear Elizabeth,
Honestly I don’t know what to write. But Ilona instructed her partners, that they have to send messages regularly, not rarely once a day.
Today my state has been balanced. I am calm. I couldn’t say that there are no thoughts. But they don’t disturb me. I would to say that I began to worry that I have nothing to report you.
Sinking into abyss of “self” became much more slow. It seems I gradually lose interest in doing something on the spiritual way.
You said that all I do is fine. I try to follow thoroughly your recommendations.
I have no any material to write about. And also I try to write without special thinking about this theme during the writing. Otherwise I could switch on mental function and it would follow to new stream of thoughts.
At the same time I feel powerful need to energize the process. Is it right? And if it is how can I stimulate the inner alteration?
Much love, Alexander

-29-2200-

Dear Elizabeth,
=====In the I AM, is the I optional, conditional ,or absent?=========
Obviously, personal I, reflecting body-mind machine, is absent. In another words personal I is a label, simple equivalent of the person name. It is like game, theatre comedy. Every human being exchanges his person-role many times during the life.
It is not so obvious with the “I AM” state. This sense of being, which arises with the phase “I AM” is well known to every human being every moment he will not be lazy to watch it (may be not so strictly, because habit to see the world through a specific filter is very powerful).
Here is my experience and I’m not sure another “person” would have the same experience.
At the beginning it seems that “I AM” is tied to the personal I. Later I found that exist only this “I” and nobody else. And certainly all this is subjective. At all NOTHING else! There is no anybody else. Anything else is only a picture of clouds on the sky. And thus more correctly the “I AM” can be named simply as “AM”.
But here two difficulties arise. First of all it is on the edge of my perception. And my mind can append his additives to the perception – filter effect. I have any possibility to separate this filter effect. I need completely stop my identification with the mind/person in any state.
The second difficulty – I can’t always feel all I told you here during the whole daytime and in any life situations. So if I told or behaved from “wrong state”, when I don’t touch the feeling AM, described earlier, I would not bring you what I wanted to say (and also I stop understand myself, maybe only intellectually).

Namaste, Alexander

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Elizabeth
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Re: Anyone new can begin here

Postby Elizabeth » Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:28 pm

Thank you Alexander.
From what I understand, you are seeing the infinite, and yet retain a sense of self.
A sense of self is not separate from the one. It is simply not perceived as A, or MY separate self.
Would it be as accurate to say there is only one, and no separation? Boundaries are artifacts of mind?

And, in this way, were 'you' ever separate?
Was there ever an Alexander who suffered, or wronged another?
Is there even an Alexander who must stay in the infinite in his head and behaviour, someone to be different?
Does anything need to change to be as it is?

Much love, Alexander.

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alexnas
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Re: Anyone new can begin here

Postby alexnas » Thu Mar 01, 2012 6:23 pm

Dear Elizabeth,
======Would it be as accurate to say there is only one, and no separation? Boundaries are artifacts of mind?=======
Yes it would. In this case personal I doesn’t exist, and there is only one without any name and label. And I feel it as sense of self or sense of being.

==== And, in this way, were 'you' ever separate?============
Yes, in this way ‘I’ was not ever separate. But only theoretically, because in this case any ‘was’ also becomes pointless. When I can feel this oneness, only now and there exists.

==== Was there ever an Alexander who suffered, or wronged another? ===========
In the same way… yes. Moreover (theoretically also) label Alexander couldn’t fell anything. What about subjective experience there was complex mixture of habits and unconscious interconnections of thoughts, which reacted on the signal “Alexander”.

=============Is there even an Alexander who must stay in the infinite in his head and behaviour, someone to be different?=========
Label Alexnder and “infinite” are incompatible.
========Does anything need to change to be as it is?=======
Everything already is as it is. It doesn’t need to be better of higher to be as it is now.
The problem would begin when the flow of thoughts is interpreted as some separate being with its will and ability to do something.

Namaste, Alexander

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Elizabeth
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Re: Anyone new can begin here

Postby Elizabeth » Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:27 am

Alexander, took a bit to hack through that :-) It's voiced in a way I am not used to. But having taken it apart, I find no quarrel with it. I have it up for further questions in case something is not clear.
From here it looks like you are through.
You see the lie and cannot go back. More unfolding from here, definitely, and we have a group for that, if you care to join.
So, if you can wait a day while I get a few more eyes on it to make sure I have not missed anything, I or Ilona will be inviting you to play with us a little more.
Very sincere felicitations on seeing what is looking.
And much love.
Elizabeth

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alexnas
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Re: Anyone new can begin here

Postby alexnas » Fri Mar 02, 2012 4:21 am

Dear Elizabeth,
Thank you very much for your help and felicitations.
I would be happy to know if I really went through. From my point of view am not sure I’m through. My vision is not stable and it seems to me frequently that it can be mental speculations.
I will appreciate very much if you ask Ilona to look through our dialog and check my state. I’ve read many her dialogs and definitely rely upon her vision and great experience.
In any case I don’t see my state as something complete. But sometimes I think that I can’t accelerate this process and only watch the development.

Namaste, Alexander

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Elizabeth
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Re: Anyone new can begin here

Postby Elizabeth » Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:11 pm

Hi Alexander.
Had several people read this, including Ilona, and some more questions came up.
We think you are seeing it, but the lack of confidence in it means more clarity can come.
Please look into experience and tell us how it is now.
1/ what is mind?
2/ What is Alexander?
3/ what is real?

Love, Elizabeth

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alexnas
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Re: Anyone new can begin here

Postby alexnas » Sat Mar 03, 2012 6:02 am

Dear Elizabeth,
Thank you and others guides for careful analysis of my reports.

1/ what is mind?
I don’t know what is mind. I can’t see it. I see thoughts. It seems the thoughts flow is chaotic. But I watched them and saw that there is some regularity in their appearing. I can’t predict new thought, but I can see some order in their flow. Thoughts flow reminds me the flow of cars which go away from the huge product storage. One can say that there is nothing beyond the fence of the storage. That storage doesn’t exist etc. And they would be right somehow.
The similar example is computer. It is brilliant example of sophisticated black box. It receives input signals (mouse, keyboard, etc) and reacts through monitor pictures, LAN, and other peripheral devices. What I name as mind is some function of programmed reaction on the input signal/data. Like a huge software system.
Now I prefer to suppose that mind plays the same organizing role for thoughts. In any case it is black box. It is a guess, and thus it’s twice illusive.

2/ What is Alexander?
Nothing but word label.
BUT:
Why does Alexander, or John, or Mary became so pleasant and recognizable?
It is a conditioned response, habit. Every person was trained to personalize his perception. It is somehow similar to animal training. You react on your name and receive some sweet present. And so on. In the case of human being was another powerful factor. Emotions play their important role, connecting thoughts with the body.
But in any case label still remain a label.
It’s like to see the movie. You can live the life of the hero during the film, and frequently after the film. Moreover many people prolong to live as if they are the chosen hero. But really it’s only a movie with its hero.

3/ what is real?
A can say only that Reality is. Reality flows. It can’t be “what” or “which”. In this sense one can say that only reality I know is the sense of being, unchangeable and … Better to say simply “being”, because I can’t say really that I sense it. I AM IT, and I can’t describe it because there is no else. Only this AM. There is no also I because there is nobody else and there is no comparison. I don’t know any other reality. (It’s funny – I don’t know anything but AM – Who is this I who sees? Funny, but the stupid language is not for description at all. Any attempt to describe very frequently calls forth the sense that I lied. I can describe nothing by words.) Surrounding “reality” (inner and outer) is only decoration. I feel that something exists behind this result of perception. But the visual, audible etc forms similar to theatre decorations. Life itself so to say flows through this theatre. Life is sense of flow. Life is a flow.
Most vividly I encounter this decoration in the morning during between the dream and the awakened state. There are several minutes, when the dream is still absolutely vivid, and at the same time daily awareness is already awakened. Moreover at this moment the sense AM is most bright and evident. Every time I watch these two scenes, I have no any reason to choose which of them is more illusive.

Deeply appreciate you help,
Namaste, Alexander


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