Awareness does not have and end or edge does it? Not physically*, but in awareness or consciousness only* can you find a separation between your fingers and the keyboard. Who are you? Do you have an identity or is it a mind made fabrication from conditioning? Strip away all the labels, beliefs, thoughts, who you think you are and whats left? Only consciousness?
I think I have lived my life. Perhaps not as much as I would have liked to. But am I off line with this? Do I take this to mean that if there is no past/future, just neurological imprints established through conditioning
Who has lived a life if there is no I ? Could life be just awareness living? Outside the body ,inside the body, everywhere there is awareness. No end to awareness , no edges, it just is and everything the mind creates is a clever mirage?
But if there is no me, no I, no Simon, just labels then had it truly existed? Is life itself just a label or a concept? I think you are going to tell me that it is.
If there were no sense of self, like a dog for example, is living just a concept? A dog looks in the mirror and thinks it is another dog in there. It's mind is not developed enough to create a self. Is it living? Is it aware? Can you imagine an awareness ,life living without a self? What would that be like? What is the difference between you and the dog? Aside from the obvious differences, lol.
Isn't Simon just a good story that is happening now as I type or as you read. If there is no past in reality and there isn't .It is just electro chemical processes in the brain like a bio computer it stores data...., but it is not happening now. so if there is pain, it is only remembered pain, not actual pain. The future being only a projection of the mind based on past experiences. How many things have you worried about that never happened? You can only live NOW.
Here is a great exercise called serious sitting for developing insight, but you must do it exactly as instructed. Sit for an hour in meditation without moving, drink, eat, go to the bathroom before because you can't move. Try to sit in the lotus position or some other position you normally use if you meditate. Now during this hour you may start to be uncomfortable, this is very important, not to disturb this. You will use it. Now focus on the discomfort, for perhaps 5 minutes or as long as you can tolerate it, then, shift your focus, and spread the discomfort throughout your whole body. Feeling the discomfort ,the sensation spreading until it is all the way through and even to the top of your head. So do this change in focus, at least three times, zoom in, zoom out, zoom in, zoom out. Keep your eyes closed, breath slowly. Let your thoughts just rest. Now sometimes during or after this process startling thoughts may arise, just note them and let them float by remaining centered and calm. It is natural to this process, but it may not even happen, but this way you won't be surprised. You may feel this spreading sensation or sometimes it is unconscious, but even unconscious it starts a process. Then if you need another session, meditate for two hours and then do the same thing. Contract focus, spread focus, more this time because it is two hours. This really is for the serious seeker who is willing to go the mile. Not moving for two solid hours will be uncomfortable and I suggest after to get up slowly. This kind of zen meditation has an effect and it usually works very well. We use the discomfort for a really good purpose. If you are a regular,long term meditator it may not even be that uncomfortable at all. If that is the case, then just take some very noticeable sensation and do the same thing.
The ego doesn't like being displaced, this is the sadness, it is also natural. As for why,or when it happens, it all happens as it is supposed to. When the readiness is there perhaps.
Oh, about the Another, yes, it is just a label isn't it. If I called you Charlie, would it change anything? Maybe annoy you. :-)
I am going on a short unexpected vacation until next week. I will resume guiding again next Monday. So please write all that happens in this experience down while it is fresh. When I come back we will review the experience and how it went. Namaste and Love, Metta