Page 3 of 3

Re: I seem to be seeking a Guide

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 11:30 am
by Ilona
Nicely put.
But what is that identifies with Blake personality?

Re: I seem to be seeking a Guide

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 3:58 pm
by BlakeRP
Life itself, the Beingness, the Oneness, whatever inadequate term used. The best way I can describe it is that The Thing Itself enjoys all of the characters, stories, and plot twists of Life. So it births Itself into these stories and lets Itself fall asleep into the story, until a moment comes when the story is seen for what it is and the Thing Itself, the "part" (inadequate word there) that flows through us, sees Itself and its story for what it is, and then it can enjoy it in an entirely different way. Now it has a rememberingness of Its true nature, for it sees Itself all around Itself, and it sings in this knowingness. This is what I get a felt-sense of when I sit quietly and look, but nothing I look for can come up into an intellectual understanding so this is the best I can do.

Re: I seem to be seeking a Guide

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 5:30 pm
by Ilona
Very sweet.
I'm very happy for you.
It is not an easy task to describe the undescribable, but I get what you are saying.

Would you say, that yes, it is clear that a separate self, I is an illusion?
If so, are yo ready to answer the last questions I have for you.

Sending love

Re: I seem to be seeking a Guide

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 8:28 pm
by BlakeRP
Yes, the separate self is an illusion - but like Einstein said, "The world we see before us is an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." So now there is an acceptance that this character called Blake will feel separate and see separateness, and sometimes get stuck in the mire of emotional attachment, but now he has a knowingness or remembering of something different, something more Wholesome. After seeing that, nothing is ever the same again, yet almost nothing changes. So yes, the thing called "I" that purports it is totally individual from "You" or "That" is an illusion and I KNOW that now, I don't just intellectualize it, because it can't be. So whatever your final questions are, bring them on and The Thing Itself here will do its best with them ;)

Re: I seem to be seeking a Guide

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 9:59 pm
by Ilona
Sweet! Here they are :)

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

6) Anything to add?

Please answer in full, when ready.

Much love.

Re: I seem to be seeking a Guide

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 10:42 pm
by BlakeRP
1. I can't remember where on this site I read this example, but it works. Someone once said, "Is there a thing you can point to that is 'school'? There's a building, there's desks, books, kids, teachers, but is there any one separate individual thing you can grab and say THAT is 'school'?" So, the answer is that the separate individual self is a matrix of life experiences that becomes identified with and believed as personal - but there was never one individual "thingie" to be grabbed that says "this is ME!" If there is a Self, it is the fullness of Life and our ability to be aware of it - which is not limited to any one body or separated by or in or with the body, mind or anything else. It just Is, and It Is Everywhere and Everywhen and Everyone.

2. I already started in on this one - it's the matrix of life experiences, memories, teachings of grammar and lessons in ownership and boundaries (That is mine, and I can't have hers because it's hers). As one grows through childhood, that matrix "gels" into a self-identity, identified and believed in - until something happens that forces us to look and see that that is all it is, a self-sustaining computer program.

3. It is very hard to describe how this feels, especially since over the past 2-3 days I have not felt TOO different, whereas the entire week of the IONS conference I noticed an incredible difference. All in all, there is no one there to fight or resist the story of this life, yet there is a felt-sense of the character of this story at all times, but it comes from a knowingness that it IS JUST A CHARACTER, and that's FINE, because the Truth of Beingness feels much more peaceful, natural - Delightfully Organic is the best way I can put it.

4. Honestly, there was nothing that did it, nothing that happened because of something I was doing. I was just sitting outside, smoking the last little bit of pot I had. I felt my light body energies tingle a bit but I wasn't "doing" anything with them. Then, there was this felt-sense of something rising up from within me, and like a wisp of wind it puffed through my mind. Then there was just this... "Wait, what?" sense. I can't even describe what it was I saw or felt, I just noticed that thoughts happened, emotions happened, actions happened, even things like choices and preferences just happened, but they weren't coming from some sort of individual being, they just Were.

5. This is the hardest one of all, really. Because I do feel that there are choices and preferences - but control, no. The character known as Blake has preferences, and attempts to make choices in alignment with those preferences - which is just Life happening. Do those choices come from a place of controlling Life? No. Do those choices come from a centralized, individual Chooser floating around in here? Not that I'm aware of. But they still happen, and they happen "Delightfully Organically" instead of through intellectual effort or the desire to control something. There's "editing" of a thought that can happen, instead of just blurting things out (although that also happens, but it has happened perfectly and created beautiful expressions), and there's a "reflecting" on memories or future plans, but no one individual Reflector who Plans, or Editor who Thinks. There's just a process going on in here, a subtle and complex and interconnected process that has no one thing that can be pulled out and shown as The Thing Itself because ALL OF IT, inside and outside, everywhere and nowhere, is The Thing Itself.

6. Can't think of anything at the moment, because I think my answers elaborated enough at this point. :)

Re: I seem to be seeking a Guide

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 10:57 pm
by BlakeRP
Now I know what 6 is, because the great poet himself popped into my mind to remind me. In giving you answers to the first 5 questions, there implies a knowledge of some sort, an ability to say "This is what I am, or at least what I understand." But no, that's not the case. In the beautiful words of don Miguel Ruiz, "I can say that I am this and I don't like that, but in reality, I do not know what I am. All I know is that I am here, and I am alive."

Re: I seem to be seeking a Guide

Posted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 8:25 am
by Ilona
Beautiful answers, Blake, thank you. I can see that something has definitely shifted. Yes, it's ordinary and life goes on as it did before. You know, chop wood, carry water.. It is interesting to know, if this seeing has any implication on your energy work and meditation. Is anything different that you notice?
Did you talk to your father about this?

Much love

Re: I seem to be seeking a Guide

Posted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 1:30 pm
by BlakeRP
One of the biggest things I was afraid of was that I would lose the energy work and those journeys into different realms of consciousness because there wouldn't be anyone there to do it, there wouldn't be any reason to - and yet, I'm still doing it. In fact, it's gotten even better. Heck, the entire conference was working the magical way it was working because of one of the energy skills I learned called Self-Exciting, which sets this kind of field in your life where things can work like magic, effortlessly. The energy work and ability to let my consciousness flow into other dimensions was actually easier to do and understand than ever before, which enabled me to receive information or see, feel or understand what I would need to do at various moments. So it actually made my energy work BETTER and I think that's because there was no longer some sort of mental construction of the Self that could resist it or struggle with it or use it to be Saved (not that I was using it for that purpose anyways). In fact, it felt like because I often had no attachment to what was going on in the story, the energy work was easily able to play with the story. That's the only area where I really feel a strong sense of Self, is playing with the story of my life via the energy work. But I understand, now, that the energy work is just part of the story and it's a fun thing to explore - especially when the experience of a much higher dimension is just beyond mental constructions and is just pure bliss.

Right when I first had that "wisp of wind" puff through my brain I got my father to talk to me a bit. It was a little goofy at first, because I wasn't sure what I had seen or felt or not seen or felt. But he was patient and helped me out. The very next day I had to leave for the conference, but when I got back we talked some more. It really is a bit different for me than it was/is for him, because I still have the energy work and expanded states of consciousness that I felt I had to try and integrate into my understanding of their being no separate, individual self. But for him, he won't even listen to anything about those things, because he says they don't matter at all, and can even be a reinforcement of the story of Self - so I can't even talk to him about those parts. But what we have talked about, I actually understand him better and he understands me better, I think. He's a fricken mystery, really, haha!

So, what do I do now? Chop wood, carry water, explore the light body and be a part of a movement attempting to save humanity from its poor decisions? That seems to be what's happening in this life story, and it's no different than before, yet everything is different. Nothing was gained, yet now I have Everything. I didn't lose anything, yet I lose Everything. All that paradoxical stuff! Haha! :)