Looking for help awakening

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bshwckr592
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Looking for help awakening

Postby bshwckr592 » Sat Sep 01, 2012 10:36 pm

Would love some assistance. I'm available every day to post and I am completely committed.

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s-p-a-c-e
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Re: Looking for help awakening

Postby s-p-a-c-e » Sat Sep 01, 2012 11:37 pm

Hi bshwckr592,

Would be happy to work together with you and provide some assistance.

Great to hear you can post every day - it's good to keep the momentum rolling.

A few more ground rules - we look to share our direct experience rather than second-hand descriptions; and just be plain and honest with your investigations. I'll be asking questions which will look to bring you towards seeing what is already the case.

By the way, I am not a teacher in any way, shape or form and even if I was, there is nothing I could teach you that you don't already know at some level. :)

If you're in agreement, we can begin straight away.

My name is John, I'm based in the UK.

With best wishes,
John
"The more he looked inside, the more Piglet wasn't there." - A.A.Milne

Author, The Faun's Apprentice - see on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fauns-Apprenti ... B01AR2B63U

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bshwckr592
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Re: Looking for help awakening

Postby bshwckr592 » Sat Sep 01, 2012 11:44 pm

Hey John,

I'm Graham and I'm in the US. Everything sounds good to me - let's get started.

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s-p-a-c-e
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Re: Looking for help awakening

Postby s-p-a-c-e » Sat Sep 01, 2012 11:53 pm

Hey Graham,

Good to meet you! First things first, what is it that brings you here?

More specifically, could you say a little more about:

1. What you are looking for?
2. What do you expect to happen, once you see that there is no "Graham"?
3. How would you describe "Graham"'s existence right here, right now?

Write as much as you wish.

With kind thanks,
John


Best,
John
"The more he looked inside, the more Piglet wasn't there." - A.A.Milne

Author, The Faun's Apprentice - see on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fauns-Apprenti ... B01AR2B63U

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bshwckr592
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Re: Looking for help awakening

Postby bshwckr592 » Sat Sep 01, 2012 11:58 pm

1) I'm looking for self-realization and release. I experience a lot of anxiety about events in my daily life, and while I can recognize the illusory nature of such emotions and thoughts, I cannot get free of them as much as I examine them. So I'm looking for a release and freedom at long last.
2) I've read a fair amount of spiritual material, particularly about nonduality and enlightenment experiences, but it hasn't clicked yet. I understand intellectually that there is no "I" and no owner of the thoughts and emotions but perhaps I just haven't dug deep enough. I expect a release from anxieties that take me away from reality and the here and now.
3) I would describe Graham's existence as constant flux. Sometimes happy and content, other times I experience a thought then anxiety and my emotional state shifts.

Thanks,
Graham

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s-p-a-c-e
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Re: Looking for help awakening

Postby s-p-a-c-e » Sun Sep 02, 2012 12:18 am

Hi Graham,

Thank you for your considered and clear responses. Let's go through them one by one.
1) I'm looking for self-realization and release. I experience a lot of anxiety about events in my daily life, and while I can recognize the illusory nature of such emotions and thoughts, I cannot get free of them as much as I examine them. So I'm looking for a release and freedom at long last.
This is an excellent observation! Thoughts are not quite what they appear to be and that's what we will soon see. Without this seeing, thoughts have a tremendous power over us - that's what it can feel like. And yet, that power is a mirage. So, please explore this:

> Take a particular thought that has some significance for you. Keeping the thought in your awareness, ask yourself:

1. Is it the thought itself that has power?
2. Or is it the belief that the thought is true that has the power?
3. Or is it the thought that the thought originated from someone called "Graham" - the owner?
2) I've read a fair amount of spiritual material, particularly about nonduality and enlightenment experiences, but it hasn't clicked yet. I understand intellectually that there is no "I" and no owner of the thoughts and emotions but perhaps I just haven't dug deep enough. I expect a release from anxieties that take me away from reality and the here and now.
You are spot on about the "clicking". What is to be seen is already the case, and the seeing of it is quite an everyday matter - very close. As for "take me away from reality..." my experience of seeing is that reality is the same in appearances and different in the way it's seen - which you will see.
3) I would describe Graham's existence as constant flux. Sometimes happy and content, other times I experience a thought then anxiety and my emotional state shifts.
Ponder on who is describing "Graham"'s existence. Sit with it and write what comes up, what you notice.

Good work!

With kind thanks,
John
"The more he looked inside, the more Piglet wasn't there." - A.A.Milne

Author, The Faun's Apprentice - see on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fauns-Apprenti ... B01AR2B63U

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s-p-a-c-e
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Re: Looking for help awakening

Postby s-p-a-c-e » Sun Sep 02, 2012 12:22 am

By the way Graham, just so you know - I'll be here for the next 30 mins/hour probably - it's 00:20am in the UK, and although I'm a night owl, I was up early this morning. :)

Thanks,
John
"The more he looked inside, the more Piglet wasn't there." - A.A.Milne

Author, The Faun's Apprentice - see on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fauns-Apprenti ... B01AR2B63U

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bshwckr592
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Re: Looking for help awakening

Postby bshwckr592 » Sun Sep 02, 2012 12:56 am

> Take a particular thought that has some significance for you. Keeping the thought in your awareness, ask yourself:

1. Is it the thought itself that has power?
2. Or is it the belief that the thought is true that has the power?
3. Or is it the thought that the thought originated from someone called "Graham" - the owner?
1) The thought doesn't seem to have any power itself
2) The belief that the thought is true has some power
3) Mainly it seems this is the case - it is "my" thought and it also influences me physiologically
Ponder on who is describing "Graham"'s existence. Sit with it and write what comes up, what you notice.
It seems Graham's existence is being described by a mind that has collected and tied together memories and thoughts regarding the individual Graham. These ideas, thoughts, and experiences all seem to have been directed and originated from Graham the executive who has controlled his life.

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s-p-a-c-e
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Re: Looking for help awakening

Postby s-p-a-c-e » Sun Sep 02, 2012 1:13 am

Hi Graham,
> Take a particular thought that has some significance for you. Keeping the thought in your awareness, ask yourself:

1. Is it the thought itself that has power?
2. Or is it the belief that the thought is true that has the power?
3. Or is it the thought that the thought originated from someone called "Graham" - the owner?
1) The thought doesn't seem to have any power itself
2) The belief that the thought is true has some power
3) Mainly it seems this is the case - it is "my" thought and it also influences me physiologically
You have seen clearly that the real power to influence youself lies not with the thoughts or beliefs (thoughts about thoughts or thoughts about the world) but with this "executive called Graham".
It seems Graham's existence is being described by a mind that has collected and tied together memories and thoughts regarding the individual Graham. These ideas, thoughts, and experiences all seem to have been directed and originated from Graham the executive who has controlled his life.
And you have also seen clearly that the "executive called Graham" is the one behind the "individual called Graham".
It's rather like the famous Escher illustration of the hand drawing the hand.

Look closely at this "Graham" - who has played executive and individual. Look him in the eye.

Ask him if he exists or is a fiction?

Consider yourself without a label, without a name. What is left? Who is left?

Best wishes,
John
"The more he looked inside, the more Piglet wasn't there." - A.A.Milne

Author, The Faun's Apprentice - see on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fauns-Apprenti ... B01AR2B63U

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s-p-a-c-e
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Re: Looking for help awakening

Postby s-p-a-c-e » Sun Sep 02, 2012 1:33 am

Off to sleep now. See you tomorrow Graham.

With kind thanks,
John
"The more he looked inside, the more Piglet wasn't there." - A.A.Milne

Author, The Faun's Apprentice - see on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fauns-Apprenti ... B01AR2B63U

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bshwckr592
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Re: Looking for help awakening

Postby bshwckr592 » Sun Sep 02, 2012 3:14 am

Okay. It is evident that Graham is fiction. If he was removed completely, nothing external would be different, it would only change my internal landscape. "I" feel like "I'm" on the cusp now, just the understanding needs solidifying. "I" can see how ridiculous the assumption has been that the self has controlled anything in life. Things happen of their own accord and own nature.

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s-p-a-c-e
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Re: Looking for help awakening

Postby s-p-a-c-e » Sun Sep 02, 2012 10:15 am

Morning Graham,
Okay. It is evident that Graham is fiction. If he was removed completely, nothing external would be different, it would only change my internal landscape. "I" feel like "I'm" on the cusp now, just the understanding needs solidifying. "I" can see how ridiculous the assumption has been that the self has controlled anything in life. Things happen of their own accord and own nature.
Good work! Having now seen through "Graham", "Graham" might still be around, but it's just not who you are anymore. And this is not to say that creating the fiction of "Graham" was ever wrong or bad. It was completely natural and served its purpose - just got carried away that's all, sat on the throne and thought it was king! :)

Would you share some more about your experience right now - directly, how do things feel/seem within you? And also, as you look at at the world, how do things feel/seem? Take at least 10/15 minutes, quieten down, maybe sit somewhere peaceful and honestly and plainly share what is happening.

With kind thanks,
John
"The more he looked inside, the more Piglet wasn't there." - A.A.Milne

Author, The Faun's Apprentice - see on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fauns-Apprenti ... B01AR2B63U

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bshwckr592
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Re: Looking for help awakening

Postby bshwckr592 » Sun Sep 02, 2012 3:37 pm

John,

My inner experience has a lightness of being to it. There is somewhat of a release - thoughts of the "I" do rise up (as well as some emotional reactions) but as I look at them they fade just as quickly.

The external world seems perfect - every object sits in a radiant existence. As far as people, everyone seems a bit absurd as they are playing their "I" roles.

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s-p-a-c-e
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Re: Looking for help awakening

Postby s-p-a-c-e » Sun Sep 02, 2012 4:32 pm

Hi Graham,
John,

My inner experience has a lightness of being to it. There is somewhat of a release - thoughts of the "I" do rise up (as well as some emotional reactions) but as I look at them they fade just as quickly.

The external world seems perfect - every object sits in a radiant existence. As far as people, everyone seems a bit absurd as they are playing their "I" roles.
Good observations.

And in looking out at the world, who is looking out?

Best wishes,
John
"The more he looked inside, the more Piglet wasn't there." - A.A.Milne

Author, The Faun's Apprentice - see on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fauns-Apprenti ... B01AR2B63U

User avatar
bshwckr592
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2012 7:40 pm

Re: Looking for help awakening

Postby bshwckr592 » Sun Sep 02, 2012 5:23 pm

Thinking about your question, it appears there is no one to look out. The world and perceiving are one and the same.


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