What comes up is thoughts and sensations. That's all.What comes up is that I don't know about other places besides here. There is no separate self here, but don't know how to look outside of here to see if there might be a separate self somewhere else.
Do you see that? DO the exercise again, right now. Close eyes. Ask yourself "is there a separate self, anywhere, in any form?". What comes up?
what comes up is only EVER thoughts and sensations.
Yes. We can see that you know how to think and type out what you think :) You just seem to think that what you think really matters... but of course... it doesn't.I can't describe the experience in terms of sensations because I don't remember them. I only remember things that I think about, and I was thinking about the question.
Here is your problem xy...
you are convinced that the reality you THINK is real is somehow real. you are heavily identified with thinking. you literally believe that thinking gives you a way to view the world that is accurate to Reality, but it isn't, why? because your thinking it :) thoughts cannot describe and show you Reality. the most they can do is point to it. thoughts are simply labels. this is where you are trapped. you identify strongly with the thinking process and as such the reality you perceive is based on that process. your thinking process is creating separation. yet your attention remains in the thinking process looking to find a way out when all you need to do is stop look for answer in your thoughts and simply notice that THOUGHTS are only EVER ONLY THOUGHTS. everything that you report to me is just a thought, it's just a story. can you stop telling your story of the person, Mr xy, that "sees that there is no self, but isn't convinced that there isn't a self because it must be outside of experience and the world"? When you tell your stories you really believe them... you really do. We are just trying to tell you that they are all just stories. There is no self. A story can say anything in response to that, but in our simple experience, moment to moment, if we can drop that story, we see that there is no separate self. There is just Life. You are living in your Stories. Let me show you again...
Pay attention to the stream of thoughts now.
Do this again, and you'll see what's happening, crystal clear.
RIGHT NOW. Ask yourself. "Is there a separate self anywhere in any form"?
Do you see that anything that comes up is just a thought? And anything that you write her is also a thought? That anything you can respond to anything we say is just a story? There are some sensations, and thoughts. That's it.
This process cannot work for you simply because you are identified with the voice in the head. Thoughts come up and you parrot it like it is real... but you really don't see they are just thoughts. I'm not sure why you have such a death grip on thinking. This may be indicative of a more deep seated issue which we may be unable to assist you with here. It is clear that whatever exercise we give you only penetrates a certain amount before thought comes up and you start thinking and swimming in it and telling us about it. You have a blanket of thinking over everything... everything... EVERYTHING. No wonder life is so stressful and you want to change it.
You are a storyteller and you believe your stories.
What would reality be without your thoughts about it? Maybe try to watch your thoughts for a whole day and see how much you are identified with thinking and the thinking process. You have to see that for yourself.