Willing to Awake

[Larusha]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
There is no identity, no "me".
I know that "in the seeing there is only the seen. In the hearing there is only the heard". But I haven't experienced it yet.

What are you looking for at LU?
I am looking for awakening basically. I'd love to have a clear realization of no-self and be able to experience the reality directly, not through the filter of thoughts or "me".
Actually I was never interested in awakening because it seemed just unreachable, way beyond me and my abilities (like meditating for months)... This was true until the last year when I came across Angelo Dilullo videos that had a completely different view of it - that's when I became really interested in awakening - because it no longer seems impossible.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
Ideally, it would be good to identify my "sticky" points or perhaps, identity structures that are holding me back. I don't know if it's possible.
Though there might be other ways that I don't know of.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I meditate daily for about an hour in the morning.
Once a year I usually go on a 10-day silent Vipassana meditation retreat but there hasn't been any awakening.
Actually I was never interested in awakening because it seemed just unreachable, way beyond me and my abilities (like meditating for months)... This was true until the last year when I came across Angelo Dilullo videos that had a completely different view of it - that's when I became really interested in awakening - because it no longer seems impossible

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 10