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by Jillian1
Tue Feb 02, 2016 11:42 pm
Forum: ARCHIVES
Topic: Desperate to see! Can you help me?
Replies: 82
Views: 8422

Re: Desperate to see! Can you help me?

Recapitulating the wave: Witnessing-- It's the last act of defiance, a final face held against flooding light. ********************** A tree blossomed inside me. It reached from my heart toward the sky-- brilliant, white, fluorescent petals. ************************* Liberation is the final draft. A...
by Jillian1
Tue Feb 02, 2016 2:35 am
Forum: ARCHIVES
Topic: Desperate to see! Can you help me?
Replies: 82
Views: 8422

Re: Desperate to see! Can you help me?

This is all wonderful I'm feeling so much gratitude at the moment. Perhaps more words about this will come later? Have a good night John. Sweet dreams my beautiful friend and guide.
by Jillian1
Tue Feb 02, 2016 2:30 am
Forum: ARCHIVES
Topic: Desperate to see! Can you help me?
Replies: 82
Views: 8422

Re: Desperate to see! Can you help me?

Thanks for the clarification.
by Jillian1
Tue Feb 02, 2016 2:24 am
Forum: ARCHIVES
Topic: Desperate to see! Can you help me?
Replies: 82
Views: 8422

Re: Desperate to see! Can you help me?

Oh yeah, something else to add.....Am I going to turn blue? :)
by Jillian1
Tue Feb 02, 2016 2:17 am
Forum: ARCHIVES
Topic: Desperate to see! Can you help me?
Replies: 82
Views: 8422

Re: Desperate to see! Can you help me?

Sorry you have had to put up with so much of my I-ing.

But one more: I love you John.

Had to say it.
by Jillian1
Tue Feb 02, 2016 2:15 am
Forum: ARCHIVES
Topic: Desperate to see! Can you help me?
Replies: 82
Views: 8422

Re: Desperate to see! Can you help me?

What do you mean? Wrap it up for today? Or completely wrap it up? A place to share what shows up? What does this mean?
by Jillian1
Tue Feb 02, 2016 2:07 am
Forum: ARCHIVES
Topic: Desperate to see! Can you help me?
Replies: 82
Views: 8422

Re: Desperate to see! Can you help me?

There is no decisions, intentions, fee will, choice, or control. Whatever happens is all part of a movement. When you speak, I answer. Or if there are some thoughts being believed, I might just think instead of answering. There could of course be a myriad of other reasons why I might not answer, but...
by Jillian1
Tue Feb 02, 2016 1:58 am
Forum: ARCHIVES
Topic: Desperate to see! Can you help me?
Replies: 82
Views: 8422

Re: Desperate to see! Can you help me?

And to get even more specific about it, the following words are the ones that really stuck, that wouldn't let me run:
and you know instinctively at heart.
Because you were right on, I did know instinctively at heart. I didn't know with concepts, understandings, or anything else.
by Jillian1
Tue Feb 02, 2016 1:44 am
Forum: ARCHIVES
Topic: Desperate to see! Can you help me?
Replies: 82
Views: 8422

Re: Desperate to see! Can you help me?

I was sitting on the toilet when I read your following post: I'm not fond of explanations :) or concepts claiming to be true. So, when I say you, i'm talking to the indefinable, unfindable you, that is knowing - and you know instinctively at heart. This-you you made up. So we keep it direct, and not...
by Jillian1
Tue Feb 02, 2016 1:28 am
Forum: ARCHIVES
Topic: Desperate to see! Can you help me?
Replies: 82
Views: 8422

Re: Desperate to see! Can you help me?

How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days. There's no longer a separation of inner and outer. There is just a wave. Our conversation is a wave, like the sea moving in and out, only there is no in and no out. Befo...
by Jillian1
Tue Feb 02, 2016 1:06 am
Forum: ARCHIVES
Topic: Desperate to see! Can you help me?
Replies: 82
Views: 8422

Re: Desperate to see! Can you help me?

Ooops, didn't see you last post. Will work on that one now.
by Jillian1
Tue Feb 02, 2016 1:05 am
Forum: ARCHIVES
Topic: Desperate to see! Can you help me?
Replies: 82
Views: 8422

Re: Desperate to see! Can you help me?

Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now. As a very young child I remember having a lot of difficulty around thought. I wasn't comfortable with language. I was comfortable with direct experi...
by Jillian1
Tue Feb 02, 2016 12:36 am
Forum: ARCHIVES
Topic: Desperate to see! Can you help me?
Replies: 82
Views: 8422

Re: Desperate to see! Can you help me?

Oh, yes, more to come....seeing into the question now. Expect more soon...
by Jillian1
Tue Feb 02, 2016 12:32 am
Forum: ARCHIVES
Topic: Desperate to see! Can you help me?
Replies: 82
Views: 8422

Re: Desperate to see! Can you help me?

Great question! Mind is in a tangle! Following is what I have so far. But since you asked for a description in detail....perhaps more time is needed to feel into it? Part of it was an attempt to comfort an overloaded nervous system. It started happening for me at a young age. The illusion of existin...
by Jillian1
Tue Feb 02, 2016 12:08 am
Forum: ARCHIVES
Topic: Desperate to see! Can you help me?
Replies: 82
Views: 8422

Re: Desperate to see! Can you help me?

No.

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